Posts filed under ‘Stress and divorce’
I was recently interviewed by Jen Kirsch at Canadian Living Magazine about being a friend – to a friend during divorce. This is what we discussed:
How to help friends going through a divorce or breakup
By Jen Kirsch
You don’t always have to know the right thing to say — just being a good friend who’s there is often enough.
Nothing is as heartbreaking as watching someone you really care about experience divorce or the breakup of a long-term relationship. These are life-altering events, and they almost always result in the person going through a messy grieving process in order to pick up the pieces and move on. Of course you want to be a good, reliable friend, but what exactly does that entail?We asked Deborah Moskovitch, a divorce consultant and educator and author of the book The Smart Divorce(Chicago Review Press, 2007), to share her tips on helping a friend weather the divorce storm.1. If you didn’t like her ex, keep it to yourself
People can make off-the-cuff remarks that can be really hurtful. For instance: “I never liked him in the first place,” or “You’re better off without that loser,” says Moskovitch. “These comments can trigger your friend’s own insecurities, and make her feel ashamed for being with her ex.”If you bad-mouth her ex, your friend may internalize your comments and think they reflect on her. You could be doing more harm than good, so avoid using put-downs or confessing how you really feel about her ex. “With time, the divorced couple may become amicable and you’ll have said things that can’t be unsaid,” Moskovitch reminds us.
To view the full article and see all 5 tips, click on the link
January 13, 2012 at 10:32 pm
Once of the reasons I became a divorce consultant and educator is because I believe in the importance of divorce education. My career evolved and has become my passion and mission since writing The Smart Divorce. Getting through my divorce was not easy; it was full of emotion, and needless to say significant legal bills. I wrote the book so that I could share my pain and others could heal from the lessons. The Smart Divorce provides wisdom from over 100 of North America’s foremost divorce professionals, so that others could be empowered with knowledge – and save time, money and their sanity.
I have been fortunate that my message not only continues to be endorsed, but promoted by so many professionals in the divorce arena. They further assist with my divorce education on the many aspects of the divorce process — on topics from putting your children’s best interest first to finances, from managing your emotions to rebuilding your life post-divorce and so much more. And, they provide a forum for me to share this learning.
My role model for taking risks and being a trailblazer in the divorce arena is Justice Harvey Brownstone. Justice Brownstone is an outspoken Judge who speaks passionately about divorce, families and the impact on society without hesitation. Educating the public about divorce, and other family matters seems to be his mission. I was honored to be a guest on the show for another guest appearance this summer. I was first interviewed when the show premiered last year. For a preview of what we discussed in my second interview, click on the link below.
http://www.familymatterstv.com/2011/07/debra-moskovitch-on-family-matters/
And, to hear the first interview click on this link below:
http://www.familymatterstv.com/2010/08/the-smart-divorce/
August 23, 2011 at 7:09 pm
This time the spots are switched, I’m interviewed by my c o-host Steve Peck on his show, Divorce Source Radio. Tune in to hear the mistakes often made during divorce.
Divorce is an extremely emotional time in our life and under stress, we don’t always make the right choices.
The legal system is confusing and frightening and we sometimes let our anger get the best of us creating a battle with our soon to be ex that can last a lifetime and affect the lives of our children and our finances.
In this episode, DSR host Steve Peck, speaks with Divorce Consultant and author of The Smart Divorce, Deborah Moskovitch on how to avoid costly mistakes during divorce.
Listening to this show if you are new to the process of divorce can save you thousands of dollars in legal expenses, the relationship with your children and your sanity.
Click on the link below to hear the interview, to save time, money– and your sanity.
http://www.divorcesourceradio.com/mistakes-we-make-during-divorce-and-how-to-avoid-them/
August 20, 2011 at 10:48 pm
Introducing The Smart® Divorce Resource Toolkit
The Smart Divorce® Resource Tool Kit is now available, order yours today– one easy phone call or email, to get this valuable resource. It’s one of the most comprehensive programs providing a full overview of the divorce process — and endorsed by judges, lawyers, and mental health professionals. The Smart Divorce Resource Toolkit will help you make smart decisions for you and your family – taking you through the entire divorce process, removing the mystery and misconceptions about the outcomes of divorce, how to cut down on your legal bills and so much more.
This comprehensive resource provides an understanding of all aspects of the divorce process; helping you understand the two sides to your divorce – the “emotional divorce” and the “legal divorce”
Move through your divorce with focus, hope and confidence.
The Smart Divorce Resource Toolkit makes the divorce process easy to understand, helping you to be strategic while making sound, smart decisions. After all, information is knowledge and knowledge is power.
Call 905 695 0270 or email info@thesmartdivorce.com to get your copy of The Smart Divorce Resource Toolkit.
Included in The Smart Divorce Toolkit are tips, strategies and ideas, packaged as never seen before. This smart toolkit comes with:
The Smart Divorce Resource Toolkit is designed specifically to meet your needs — to help reduce stress, educate and inform you about the divorce process in a cost effective, easy to understand way. Guidance and information from leading family law lawyers, mental health professionals, and parenting experts well versed on the needs of those in the divorce process are included. And, it’s put together in one smart package, making it uncomplicated, and effortless to understand.
The Tool Kit contains 4 CDs covering the myriad of issues, concerns and questions most people have about divorce – removing the mystery, complexity, and confusion about divorce. Also included are Smart Guides which add another layer of detail to The Smart Divorce Audios, and provide a step by step plan for going through the divorce process.
The Smart Divorce Audios.
These unique and informative CDs provide tips and strategies to help navigate this difficult time, educate listeners about the divorce process and provide practical information on getting through it with focus, hope and confidence.
- Audio 1 – The Emotional Divorce
- Audio 2– The Legal Divorce
- Audio 3 – Smart Co-Parenting: Putting Your Children’s Best Interests First
- Audio 4 – Rebuilding Your Life Post Divorce
Smart Guides.
Tip sheets that support the information in the audios providing detail and understanding of the specific topic.
Smart Guides:
- Planning for a Smart Divorce
- Getting Your Finances Organized for Divorce
- Coping with the Stress of the Emotional Divorce
- Coping with Stress in a High Stress Environment
- Understanding Your Divorce Options
- Finding a Good Divorce Lawyer
- Smart Co-Parenting
- Living Separate and Apart
- Strengthening the Blended Family Bonds
- Divorce Financial Check List
- Understanding Marital Property Laws
- Important Financial Steps Required to Prepare for Divorce
Don’t delay, order your kit today
Call 905 695 0270 or email info@thesmartdivorce.com to get your copy of The Smart Divorce Resource Toolkit.
June 14, 2011 at 12:33 am
I am pleased to announce the launch of a new product called: The Smart Divorce® Resource Tool Kit. The purpose of the Tool Kit is to provide organizations, lawyers, mental health professionals and others in the divorce arena with a resource to help their employees and clients divorce with focus, hope and confidence. The Smart Divorce® Resource Tool Kit is one very smart package developed specifically to meet an individual’s needs.
This valuable Tool Kit is designed to reduce stress, educate and inform about the many aspects of the divorce process, and is cost effective and easy to understand.
Divorce or a breakdown of a co-habitation relationship is an extremely emotional process. While divorce is a personal matter the emotional impact can spill over into the workplace suddenly making it a public affair. There are so many unknowns about divorce that people are often confused, filled with fear and unsure of how to navigate the process. In an effort to better heal and deal with divorce process privately, many individuals seek therapeutic counseling. However, not all therapists are equipped to help their patients understand the specifics of divorce to alleviate many of their concerns i.e. the legal process, financial impact or custody and access issues. As a result, an individual’s world is temporarily turned upside down, triggering unsettling and distressful emotions. The effects of the emotional distress in the workplace can be devastating.
On a classic rating scale of stressful life events, divorce consistently ranks No. 2–second only to the death of a spouse or child. The process of getting divorced is an emotional roller coaster which can impact people’s ability to be mindful on the job. Although divorce is primarily a personal heartbreak, the effects spill into the workplace; at the extreme – costing one to lose their job – not to mention a good portion of their wealth, and it can even affect the organization’s reputation. People often feel overburdened and lack confidence; it is not surprising how many buckle under the pressure.
It is well documented that divorce reduces worker productivity. If one were to do a cost benefit analysis of the effects of divorce in the workplace, one would find that the financial costs to the organization can be enormous.
I understand only too well how devastating the emotions of divorce can be, taking over the legal process while wreaking havoc on one’s career, causing a meltdown on so many fronts, and the difficulty in overcoming the challenges of raising children on your own. It is for these reasons that I created The Smart Divorce® Resource Tool Kit. I know how important it is to treat your divorce as a business transaction, and arm yourself with as much information as possible.
The Smart Divorce Resource Tool Kit includes:
The Smart Divorce Audios. These unique and informative audios provide tips and strategies to help navigate this difficult time, educate listeners about the divorce process and provide practical information on getting through divorce with clarity.
- Audio 1 – The Emotional Divorce
- Audio 2– The Legal Divorce
- Audio 3 – Smart Co-Parenting: Putting Your Children’s Best Interests First
- Audio 4 – Rebuilding Your Life Post Divorce
Smart Guides. 12 very valuable tip sheets that support the information in the audios and cover other important issues; providing detail, strategies and tips for managing a specific divorce related topic.
In addition to the extensive information available in The Smart Divorce Resource Tool Kit, some organizations may also find it beneficial to offer workshops. These presentations will provide greater clarity about divorce and managing through the process, in an effort to minimize stress, while maximizing an employee’s attention at work during this often distracting time.
The Smart Divorce® facilitator guided workshop
- Workshop 1- The Smart Divorce. A 1 ½ hour overview of the divorce process based on the book, The Smart Divorce. The divorce process in explained in broad terms, while providing an understanding of the emotional divorce and the legal divorce
- Workshop 2- Strengthening the Blended Family Bonds. A one hour presentation focusing on considerations when blending families.
Note: Each workshop includes PowerPoint presentation and facilitator script.
Don’t miss out on the introductory offer and save $50 when you place an order a minimum order of 10 kits. Or, try it out and order just one Toolkit.
For more information click on the link. To learn more about this unique and innovative program, and how it may help your organization or practice, please contact Deborah Moskovitch at info@thesmartdivorce.com.
The Smart Divorce Resource Tool Kit _ Flyer
May 27, 2011 at 5:37 pm
Finding Happiness During Divorce is the new program on The Smart Divorce with Deborah Moskovitch featuring Susan Pease Gadoua. Isn’t it time you find your happiness?
Our guest, Susan Pease Gadoua is the founder and Executive Director of the Transition Institute of Marin, specializing in meeting the needs of separating and divorcing men and women. We explore the importance of understanding your own needs, how to find your happiness, and the meaning of loving yourself. It’s an enlightening and engaging conversation, tune in to learn how to find the power of happiness.
- The meaning of happiness
- What it means to love yourself, to be open to loving and healthy relationships
- Preparing yourself emotionally for a great relationship
- Why people get stuck in relationship traps – and being with the same personality type
- Avoiding the relationship trap mistakes and downfalls
- The risk of a rebound relationship
Click here to liste:
http://www.divorcesourceradio.com/finding-happiness-during-divorce/
May 14, 2011 at 10:25 pm
A new show from The Smart Divorce has just been posted. Tune in to hear our guest Hanna McDonough.
Our guest, Hanna McDonough, is Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, and Psychotherapist (www.hannatherapy.com). Ms. McDonough shares her wisdom on finding the best in yourself, and delves into relationships and what’s important – is it sex, money? And, what are the differences between men and women and they way each values a relationship. We explore the gamut in topics and – learn about living your life as an exclamation, not an explanation.
Topics in this program include:
- The value of a therapist: how to find a good therapist, when to stay and when to go
- Understanding a verbally abusive relationship
- Exploring transformative therapy
- How to keep your marriage HOT
- Putting children first
To listen to the podcast, click on the link
http://www.divorcesourceradio.com/finding-your-authentic-self-happiness-and-moving-on/
April 28, 2011 at 5:31 pm
Our guest, Emily Brown, is Director of Key Bridge Therapy & Mediation Center in Arlington, VA. (http://www.affairs-help.com/) works with couples, individuals, and families regarding the underlying issues in marriage, divorce, and betrayal. Battles over custody and related issues that are fueled by a personality disordered spouse can be the most frustrating of all wars. The judges regularly get conned by the personality disordered spouse who makes nice in front of the judge; the other spouse who is angry and upset appears to be the problem. Emily has worked with a number of these cases, trying to extricate the victimized spouse – and overcoming the frustration which many experience. Tough cases, but she likes the challenge.
Topics in this program include:
- Insight into personality disorder
- How to deal with a persistent blamer, and managing within the legal system
- How to help children when their parent is personality disordered
- Finding the help you need to cope
- The purpose of child custody evaluations with a personality disordered ex spouse.
Click on the link to hear the full interview
http://www.divorcesourceradio.com/coping-with-the-personality-disordered-ex-spouse/
April 20, 2011 at 7:03 pm
Hear Dr. Robert Simon answer this question on The Smart Divorce on Divorce Source Radio
Is divorce always the outcome when there is conflict in the marriage? Of course not, there are options to consider, and help available to put your marriage back on track. This episode explores the role of marriage counseling, and the next steps required if the marriage results in divorce. Once the decision to divorce is made, there are many considerations and issues to ponder. Our guest, psychologist Dr. Robert A. Simon http://dr-simon.com/ provides us with tips and strategies for getting through the early days of separation with your sanity and dignity intact.
Topics in this program include:
- The benefits of marriage counseling
- Building your support network
- Finding a therapist
- Telling your children about divorce
- Emotional healing and coping strategies
- And so much more……..
To find out more click on the link:
http://www.divorcesourceradio.com/i-think-my-marriage-is-over-what-should-i-do-now-the-smart-divorce/
February 17, 2011 at 4:51 pm
The Smart Divorce radio show on Divorce Source Radio.
Divorce touches almost everyone in society. If you haven’t personally experienced divorce, chances are you know someone how has. The impact on the individual, the family, and society are monumental. People are searching for answers and information to get through the divorce process with their sanity and dignity intact; they want to move forward with focus hope and confidence.
Brimming with expert advice and the personal experience and expertise of the hosts, Deborah Moskovitch and Steve Peck, listeners are entertained and educated with an enlightening, provocative and informative show. This is a unique and valuable show. There isn’t anything like this anywhere else.
From the trenches to the Benches — interviews with the leading divorce professionals across North America will be shared so that listeners will learn how to manage the divorce process in a healthier, less painful way and move on to create a better life postdivorce. We’ll also be speaking with individuals who have weathered divorce, and are sharing their experience by helping others as well.
Divorce Source Radio produces FREE programs featuring both legal and emotional advice from respected professionals. Tune in every week, to listen to our free programs on The Smart Divorce on Divorce Source Radio at http://www.divorcesourceradio.com/
February 11, 2011 at 1:35 am
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