Posts filed under ‘smart divorce, parenting coordinator, payor spouse, rec’
I was honored to speak with Dr. Joan Kelly, a clinical psychologist and internationally renowned expert on divorce, on The Smart Divorce on Divorce Source Radio. We discussed the important considerations when telling your children about your separation or divorce. This is a must listen to program for any parent who wants to know what to say to their children.
Our guest, Joan Kelly PhD., a Clinical Psychologist, is an internationally recognized expert on divorce and children’s adjustment and interventions designed to assist parents and enhance resiliency in children. Dr. Kelly has been studying the impact of divorce on children since 1968. She is an author, therapist, mediator, and parenting coordinator with four decades of experience working with high conflict parents who are separating.
Dr. Kelly shares her insights and wisdom on telling your children about your divorce– providing script ideas and important messages. She will guide you through the conversation and preparation you need to do. Having this conversation is not one most parents want to have, as only 5% of parents actually sit down and explain to their children about this significant change in their life. Yet, telling your children about separation and divorce is critical if you truly want to do what is in your children’s best interest, and minimize the negative effects of divorce on children.
To obtain more information on talking about separation and divorce and to purchase Dr. Kelly’s booklet: What Should We Tell the Children, written for the Association of American Matrimonial Lawyers contact www.aaml.org
Topics in this program include:
- Why is it so important to talk with your children at this time
- Why do parents find it so difficult to talk with their children?
- Preparing to talk with your children about the separation
- What to say to your children and how do you say it?
- What to say to your children about why you are separating
To hear this most informative interview, click on the link below.
http://www.divorcesourceradio.com/what-should-we-tell-the-children-about-our-separation-or-divorce/
July 20, 2011 at 5:08 pm
Introducing The Smart® Divorce Resource Toolkit
The Smart Divorce® Resource Tool Kit is now available, order yours today– one easy phone call or email, to get this valuable resource. It’s one of the most comprehensive programs providing a full overview of the divorce process — and endorsed by judges, lawyers, and mental health professionals. The Smart Divorce Resource Toolkit will help you make smart decisions for you and your family – taking you through the entire divorce process, removing the mystery and misconceptions about the outcomes of divorce, how to cut down on your legal bills and so much more.
This comprehensive resource provides an understanding of all aspects of the divorce process; helping you understand the two sides to your divorce – the “emotional divorce” and the “legal divorce”
Move through your divorce with focus, hope and confidence.
The Smart Divorce Resource Toolkit makes the divorce process easy to understand, helping you to be strategic while making sound, smart decisions. After all, information is knowledge and knowledge is power.
Call 905 695 0270 or email info@thesmartdivorce.com to get your copy of The Smart Divorce Resource Toolkit.
Included in The Smart Divorce Toolkit are tips, strategies and ideas, packaged as never seen before. This smart toolkit comes with:
The Smart Divorce Resource Toolkit is designed specifically to meet your needs — to help reduce stress, educate and inform you about the divorce process in a cost effective, easy to understand way. Guidance and information from leading family law lawyers, mental health professionals, and parenting experts well versed on the needs of those in the divorce process are included. And, it’s put together in one smart package, making it uncomplicated, and effortless to understand.
The Tool Kit contains 4 CDs covering the myriad of issues, concerns and questions most people have about divorce – removing the mystery, complexity, and confusion about divorce. Also included are Smart Guides which add another layer of detail to The Smart Divorce Audios, and provide a step by step plan for going through the divorce process.
The Smart Divorce Audios.
These unique and informative CDs provide tips and strategies to help navigate this difficult time, educate listeners about the divorce process and provide practical information on getting through it with focus, hope and confidence.
- Audio 1 – The Emotional Divorce
- Audio 2– The Legal Divorce
- Audio 3 – Smart Co-Parenting: Putting Your Children’s Best Interests First
- Audio 4 – Rebuilding Your Life Post Divorce
Smart Guides.
Tip sheets that support the information in the audios providing detail and understanding of the specific topic.
Smart Guides:
- Planning for a Smart Divorce
- Getting Your Finances Organized for Divorce
- Coping with the Stress of the Emotional Divorce
- Coping with Stress in a High Stress Environment
- Understanding Your Divorce Options
- Finding a Good Divorce Lawyer
- Smart Co-Parenting
- Living Separate and Apart
- Strengthening the Blended Family Bonds
- Divorce Financial Check List
- Understanding Marital Property Laws
- Important Financial Steps Required to Prepare for Divorce
Don’t delay, order your kit today
Call 905 695 0270 or email info@thesmartdivorce.com to get your copy of The Smart Divorce Resource Toolkit.
June 14, 2011 at 12:33 am
I am pleased to announce the launch of a new product called: The Smart Divorce® Resource Tool Kit. The purpose of the Tool Kit is to provide organizations, lawyers, mental health professionals and others in the divorce arena with a resource to help their employees and clients divorce with focus, hope and confidence. The Smart Divorce® Resource Tool Kit is one very smart package developed specifically to meet an individual’s needs.
This valuable Tool Kit is designed to reduce stress, educate and inform about the many aspects of the divorce process, and is cost effective and easy to understand.
Divorce or a breakdown of a co-habitation relationship is an extremely emotional process. While divorce is a personal matter the emotional impact can spill over into the workplace suddenly making it a public affair. There are so many unknowns about divorce that people are often confused, filled with fear and unsure of how to navigate the process. In an effort to better heal and deal with divorce process privately, many individuals seek therapeutic counseling. However, not all therapists are equipped to help their patients understand the specifics of divorce to alleviate many of their concerns i.e. the legal process, financial impact or custody and access issues. As a result, an individual’s world is temporarily turned upside down, triggering unsettling and distressful emotions. The effects of the emotional distress in the workplace can be devastating.
On a classic rating scale of stressful life events, divorce consistently ranks No. 2–second only to the death of a spouse or child. The process of getting divorced is an emotional roller coaster which can impact people’s ability to be mindful on the job. Although divorce is primarily a personal heartbreak, the effects spill into the workplace; at the extreme – costing one to lose their job – not to mention a good portion of their wealth, and it can even affect the organization’s reputation. People often feel overburdened and lack confidence; it is not surprising how many buckle under the pressure.
It is well documented that divorce reduces worker productivity. If one were to do a cost benefit analysis of the effects of divorce in the workplace, one would find that the financial costs to the organization can be enormous.
I understand only too well how devastating the emotions of divorce can be, taking over the legal process while wreaking havoc on one’s career, causing a meltdown on so many fronts, and the difficulty in overcoming the challenges of raising children on your own. It is for these reasons that I created The Smart Divorce® Resource Tool Kit. I know how important it is to treat your divorce as a business transaction, and arm yourself with as much information as possible.
The Smart Divorce Resource Tool Kit includes:
The Smart Divorce Audios. These unique and informative audios provide tips and strategies to help navigate this difficult time, educate listeners about the divorce process and provide practical information on getting through divorce with clarity.
- Audio 1 – The Emotional Divorce
- Audio 2– The Legal Divorce
- Audio 3 – Smart Co-Parenting: Putting Your Children’s Best Interests First
- Audio 4 – Rebuilding Your Life Post Divorce
Smart Guides. 12 very valuable tip sheets that support the information in the audios and cover other important issues; providing detail, strategies and tips for managing a specific divorce related topic.
In addition to the extensive information available in The Smart Divorce Resource Tool Kit, some organizations may also find it beneficial to offer workshops. These presentations will provide greater clarity about divorce and managing through the process, in an effort to minimize stress, while maximizing an employee’s attention at work during this often distracting time.
The Smart Divorce® facilitator guided workshop
- Workshop 1- The Smart Divorce. A 1 ½ hour overview of the divorce process based on the book, The Smart Divorce. The divorce process in explained in broad terms, while providing an understanding of the emotional divorce and the legal divorce
- Workshop 2- Strengthening the Blended Family Bonds. A one hour presentation focusing on considerations when blending families.
Note: Each workshop includes PowerPoint presentation and facilitator script.
Don’t miss out on the introductory offer and save $50 when you place an order a minimum order of 10 kits. Or, try it out and order just one Toolkit.
For more information click on the link. To learn more about this unique and innovative program, and how it may help your organization or practice, please contact Deborah Moskovitch at info@thesmartdivorce.com.
The Smart Divorce Resource Tool Kit _ Flyer
May 27, 2011 at 5:37 pm
Learn more about being smart about divorce with Deborah
Hear Deborah talk about The Smart Divorce
I was interviewed about The Smart Divorce and dealing with the many issues surrounding divorce with host Christine Williams of On The Line
Click on the link to watch the interview which aired on April 19, 2010.
You’ll hear a lot of information about getting through divorce, some personal stories, and guidance about the divorce process.
http://ctstv.com/ontario/player.php?ctsvidID=17595&show=On%20The%20Line
ON THE LINE with Christine Williams has been recipient of six prestigious international awards. The program features current affairs issues and in-depth discussions about a range of topics with authors, experts and advocates.
April 20, 2010 at 10:52 pm
Taking Charge of Your Separation and Divorce
impact – options – opportunities
I was part of a “one stop” information panel of experts discussing the emotional, legal, financial, and child aspects of divorce. I thought the handouts provided would be very helpful…….the information if provided both within this post, as well as attached within a pdf.
Being smart about divorce means arming yourself with as much information as possible…..here’s a start.
THE SMART DIVORCE®
Handout- The Smart Divorce
What is A Smart Divorce?
The Smart Divorce process will help you to:
- understand the “emotional divorce” versus the “legal divorce”
- understand the various dispute resolutions available
- make informed decisions
- minimize the financial, legal and emotional stress
Be SMART about your divorce.
State your goals and objectives at the beginning. Make sure these are realistic.
Maximize your information and knowledge base.
Avoid reacting to your emotions.
Retain the best possible divorce team your budget allows.
Treat your divorce as a business transaction.
How to start The Smart Divorce
- Develop your support network – therapist/supportive counselor, support groups, clergy, divorce consultant and friends.
- Choose your lawyer carefully – interview 3 family law lawyers.
- Be informed. Understand the dispute resolutions: Do-It-Yourself; Negotiation; Mediation; Collaborative Family Law; Arbitration; Litigation; private companies who offer divorce mediation/resolution.
- Put your children’s best interests first.
- Hire the right team of professionals based on your needs – parenting expert; financial adviser and others.
- Get your finances in order.
- Stay organized – create your divorce notebook and divorce journal.
- Have a vision for how you want your life to unfold and develop strategies to get there.
You may contact Deborah by email at info@thesmartdivorce.com
or, by calling her office at 905.695.0270
Deborah Moskovitch is a divorce consultant and educator, and author of The Smart Divorce: Proven Strategies and Valuable Advice from 100 Top Divorce Lawyers, Financial Advisers, Counselors and Other Experts. Deborah has become an opinion leader in the media and has shared her insights and research on television and radio to explain that divorce can be managed in smarter ways.
Copyright ©2010 The Smart Divorce® and Deborah Moskovitch
All rights reserved. No portion of this material may be reproduced in any form without the express written permission of Deborah Moskovitch and The Smart Divorce.
Legal considerations
“Taking Charge of Your Separation/Divorce”
Handout – Legal considerations
Presentation by:
Wendy E. Best, Q.C.
Dunphy Best Blocksom LLP
February 25, 2010
1. Custody/parenting
(i) shared
(ii) joint
(iii) sole
2. Child Support
(i) Federal Child Support Guidelines
(ii) Alberta Child Support Guidelines
(iii) base table support
(iv) Section 7 expenses
(a) child care expenses incurred for employment, illness or education
(b) medical/dental insurance premiums re: child
(c) health/dental expenses over insurance by at least $100/year (ortho, counselling, physio, drugs, glasses)
(d) extraordinary expenses for primary or secondary school
(e) post secondary expenses
(f) extraordinary extracurricular expenses
(v) split custody
(vi) shared custody (40% of time)
(vii) incomes over $150,000
(viii) undue hardship
(ix) retroactive
(x) disclosure
3. Spousal Support
(xi) Divorce Act
(xii) Family Law Act/Adult Interdependent Relationships Act
(xiii) Spousal Support Advisory Guidelines
(xiv) entitlement
(xv) periodic
(xvi) lump sum
(xvii) combination
4. Property
(i) What is property
(ii) unmarried: constructive trust/unjust enrichment
(iii) married: Matrimonial Property Act
(a) exemptions
(i) gifts from third parties
(ii) inheritance
(iii) owned before marriage
(iv) damages in tort
(v) insurance policy (not re: property)
(b) increase in value of exempt property – 13 factors
(c) transfer into joint names
(d) all other property acquired – presumption of equal sharing
(e) property (assets/debts) acquired after separation or changes in value
(f) gifts or non bona fide transfers
(g) exclusive possession of matrimonial home
5. Miscellaneous/Common Misunderstandings
(i) divorce
(ii) legal separation
(iii) abandonment
(iv) conduct
(v) what to expect/ask in your first consult
Financial Considerations
7 Secrets to a Successful Divorce
Handout- 7 Secrets to a Successful Divorce
Divorce demands financial decision-making that will alter the rest of your life. Most people have no knowledge of the specifics of the finances of divorce. Most people are too emotional to make sound financial decisions regarding their future. Quite often poor choices are made, choices that are permanent. You must educate yourself on the finances of your divorce.
We have a deep and personal understanding of the financial implications of divorce. At Alberta Divorce Finances, we empower men and women going through divorce by educating them on the financial and tax implications of the decisions that they will make in their own divorce.
A 50/50 Property Split is Not Always Equal
What do you need to know to ensure that your settlement is both fair and equitable?
- 1. Money will almost always become an issue in divorce
- 2. Understand that a 50/50 division of property is not always equal
- 3. Make sure that you can afford to keep the house before you settle this matter
- 4. Understand the “true” value of your investments and RRSPs
- 5. Ensure that Pensions are valued properly.
- 6. Ensure that the payor of child and/or spousal support has Life Insurance to fulfill future support obligations.
- Many divorce decisions have implications for your tax return
Divorce is a very difficult and very emotional time and bad decisions are made under stress. You must become educated on “what you need to know” about the finances of your divorce.
Visit: Alberta Divorce Finances.com
Child Considerations
HELPING KIDS THROUGH SEPARATION/DIVORCE:
Handout – HELPING KIDS THROUGH SEPARATION
v The way in which parents manage their separation/divorce impacts their children; each individual can
make a difference by their OWN choice of behaviors
v In separation/divorce, co-parents need to shift their former intimate relationship to that of neutral
business associates linked for the long-term in the “business of co-parenting”
v Children’s needs and feelings should be a priority; they require reassurance that they are loved by
both parents and belong to both parents and extended families
v Giving kids permission and opportunities to be attached and to maintain relationships with both
parents/families is important to their well being and growth/development
(*some exceptions: family violence, substance abuse, profound mental health issues)
v Conflict is typically a part of separation/divorce; how it is managed has an impact on outcomes for
children; kids need to be kept out of “adult issues” including parent conflict and encouraged to regain
and resume their own life pursuits to meet their developmental ages/stages
v Most often children view separation/divorce differently than the adults involved as they do not always
see it as a way of improving their life; parents can be sensitive to this difference in perspective
v Children need understanding and guidance to manage and communicate their unique feelings and
behaviors through the process of separation/divorce
v Shame, blame and embarrassment are feelings that children may express; they need reassurance and age
appropriate explanations that separation/divorce is not their fault
v Attention to the variety of loss/grief reactions of both adults and kids is important through
separation/divorce; Examples: sadness, anxiety, fear, anger and feeling physically unwell
v Parents may be less available for their children particularly in the first year of separation/divorce
(“diminished parenting”); this may negatively impact kids outcomes as they need their parents most at
this time of change and transitions
v When possible, minimizing and “pacing” the multiple changes in their lives as a result of the
separation/divorce is helpful for kids; strive for predictability and routines
v Transitioning between two households can be difficult for some children; each parent can help their
children to manage this challenge with sensitivity, organization and support
v A Parenting Plan is an essential working document that helps provide a framework for adults and
children to manage the separation/divorce; a detailed plan that is reviewed regularly helps address the
family’s changing needs
v An individual’s influence and/or control with their co-parent is typically limited; their focus and energy
is better placed on developing a consistent life with their children in their own home
(Sandy Shuler, B.S.W., R.S.W., C.C.F.E. 2010. Reproduction only by permission. Sandy is the Co-author of the established “Effective Co-Parenting: Putting Kids First” program; Co-author of “Groupworks: training for small group facilitators” Developer of the “Fairway Divorce Solutions Nurtured Children Parent Education Seminar”;
Sandy is Director/Consultant of Family Life Works Inc.; www.familylifeworks.ca; 403-540-5608)
April 13, 2010 at 9:08 pm
The Smart Split
Successful divorce doesn’t have to be an oxymoron
I will be in Calgary this week, speaking with a panel of experts about divorce. The seminar is entitled Taking Charge of your Separation/Divorce. Lisa Kadane of the Calgary Herald interviewed the panel, which I’ve copied below. Please note the helpful tips.
By Lisa Kadane, Calgary Herald February 22, 2010
Taking Charge of Your Separation/Divorce takes place Thursday at Deer Park United Church (777 Deer Point Rd. S.E.) from 7 to 9:30 p.m. Pre-register for the $30 seminar at 403-205-5244. Or pay $40 at the door.
—
Divorce is everywhere. It screams at us from tabloid headlines at the grocery store checkout. It touches us personally when, as adults, our parents finally call it quits, or our own starter marriage fizzles.
It’s also universally ugly. Between custody battles, money squabbles and bitterness, divorce usually leaves one party on the short end of the fair stick.
And divorce is always heartbreaking — the final chapter in a book we never wanted to read in the first place.
So, to talk about having a “successful divorce” sounds unrealistic: a pie-in-the-sky idea plucked from some smarmy self-help book.
It’s not, says Deborah Moskovitch, who weathered a seven-year divorce and went on to write The Smart Divorce: A Team Approach to Managing the Issues of Divorce.
“Being smart about divorce really means moving forward with hope and confidence.”
Moskovitch will be in town Thursday as part of a seminar to help divorcing couples understand the resources available to help them through separation and divorce. Hiring a good attorney is a no-brainer, but head’s up: getting your legal house in order is only part of it.
“You’ve got to rebuild your life,” she says.
“Divorce is so common today that people underestimate how powerful it is; how powerful those emotions are.”
Estimates from Statistics Canada in 2008 suggest that 39 per cent of marriages in Canada will end by the couple’s 30th wedding anniversary.
The percentage is higher in the United States — at 44 per cent — but still short of the “half of all marriages end in divorce” stat that gets bandied about.
Still, it means more than one-third of married Canadian couples will eventually go their separate ways. Since that’s reality, those starting down the rocky road to divorce should become informed about this life-altering event before emotions take over.
The Herald spoke with three divorce experts who will be speaking at the seminar, to gather tips for a successful divorce.
lkadane@theherald.canwest.com
———
Smart Tips
- Sandy Shuler is a Calgary based family and life educator whose workshop Effective Coparenting teaches separating parents to put the kids first and understand their needs during separation and divorce.
“Often what happens is, in the process, (parents) are remiss in understanding what the experience is like for kids.”
Four tips:
1. Parents need to love their children more than they dislike their parenting partner. Put aside differences for the kids’ sake.
2. Shield children as best you can from parental conflict. No fighting or name-calling in front of the kids.
3. Give children permission to love and connect with both parents and extended family (unless there is abuse happening).
4. Understand that children will experience loss and grief, too, and that their feelings will be different from your own.
- Sharon Numerow is a certified divorce financial analyst (CDFA) based in Calgary. She worries that people in the midst of divorce make emotional decisions instead of educated ones, and she counsels men and women about splitting up property in their best interests.
“Educate yourself and be prepared. People spend more time researching a car,” says Numerow.
“A 50-50 property split is not always equal, so understand the decisions you’re going to make.”
Four tips:
1. Seek out professional, expert support in every area. Finding a therapist or tax consultant is just as important as hiring a good divorce attorney.
2. Money is always an issue, even when both parties claim it isn’t.
3. When it comes to splitting up investments, understand the scope of them — the risks, outlook, tax implications, costs or fees involved — and make an informed decision.
“It’s a lot of work,” Numerow admits. “I would say it’s really overwhelming for people.”
4. Women need to get on the ball with their financial situation.
“In my experience, way more women have a lack of understanding of, not just finances in divorce, but finances in general.”
- Toronto-based Deborah Moskovitch talked to more than 100 divorce experts when researching her book The Smart Divorce. She recommends people put together a team of professionals to help them navigate the split.
“I noticed so many people were bitter and angry after divorce,” says Moskovitch.
“I realized people are really unprepared for the divorce process.”
Four tips:
1. Realize that many of your divorce beefs are outside of the legal arena. For example, the law does not care if you don’t like your soon-to-beex’s parenting style. So don’t waste your lawyer’s time (and your money) by ranting about it.
2. A good divorce lawyer is gold, but he or she can’t give you parenting or financial advice.
“Bringing in the right people can save you money,” says Moskovitch. A parenting education class and even a therapist cost less per hour than a lawyer.
3. Try to keep your emotions outside of the process. When emotions take over, you end up with massive legal bills.
4. Work on rebuilding your post-divorce outlook. You will get through divorce and get on with your life.
© Copyright (c) The Calgary Herald
To read this article in the Calgary Herald click on the link:
http://www.calgaryherald.com/life/Smart+Split/2595250/story.html?id=2595250&utm_source=twitterfeed&utm_medium=twitter
February 22, 2010 at 4:46 pm
THE SMART DIVORCE® SEMINAR
A SMART CLIENT IS A BETTER CLIENT
A VALUABLE SEMINAR ABOUT THE DIVORCE PROCESS:
HEAR FROM THE BENCH, THE BAR AND THE TRENCHES
Saturday, November 21, 2009 Time: 10:00 am – 1:00 pm
Location: Fairview Library, Room 2 – Lower Level
Registration Fee: $65.00, including G.S.T.
Speakers include: Deborah Moskovitch, Divorce Consultant and author of The Smart Divorce, and recently retired Family Law Lawyer Marilynne Cass, with Featured Guest Speaker: Mr. Justice Harvey Brownstone of the Ontario Family Court and author of the bestselling book Tug of War
If you are either contemplating or currently going through a divorce, this seminar offers you strategies and tips for successfully navigating the divorce process. You will learn about the differences between the “emotional divorce” and the “legal divorce”, emphasizing the scope and limitations of the legal process. You will also hear what you can and should be doing to better move your own case towards resolution. Your will learn how to avoid the emotional pitfalls, anticipate the financial hurdles and understand the litigation limitations. You will be better prepared to move forward with focus, hope and confidence while saving time and money –and your sanity!
Topics that will be discussed:
• Understanding Divorce: Exploring the “emotional divorce” versus the “legal divorce” and how to effectively manage the process.
• Working with Your Lawyer: It’s a job for both you and your lawyer. What you should be doing to make the process most cost effective.
• Getting Your Life in Order for the Divorce Process: How to organize your paperwork to cut down on legal expenses.
• Parenting throughout divorce: Exploring the “emotional divorce” versus the “legal, what children are going through; and putting your children’s best interest first.
• Moving from Mom’s house to Dad’s house – Understanding custody and co-parenting arrangements; developing a parenting plan; and parenting after divorce.
• The legal process and dispute resolutions. What this means and how to develop realistic expectation to manage the divorce process more cost effectively.
• Understanding how child and spousal support are determined. The financial paperwork you need to prepare, and the issues to consider regarding the matrimonial home and much more.
• Finally, you will have the unique opportunity to learn from a judge: how rulings are decided, the importance of using a lawyer, what happens to the self represented litigant
and, putting your children’s best interests first. You will gain valuable insight into what really goes on in the family court room.
To reserve your spot:
Call Deborah Moskovitch at 905-695-0270,
Marilynne Cass at 647-200-7318
or email info@thesmartdivorce.com
September 14, 2009 at 6:13 pm
As I prepare my children to transition from the spontaneity of life in the summer to the structure of school it occurred to me how they need to get back into routine. Not only is it important for our children to be in the habit of schedules, but the aspect of shared parenting needs to be formalized once again; especially if life has been a bit off kilter as our children are at camp, have their own activities without parents or in holiday mode.
If you are the resident parent where the children live most of the time, then not much will change. However, if your children don’t live with you most of the time, here are some ideas to consider to maintaining involvement in your children’s lives:
Parenting Tips for Transforming Your Family
Make a family calendar and hang it wherever the children will see it, to show that you care. Make your children see that their lives are important to you and that they are your priority.
On the family calendar, list:
- birthdates
- school schedules
- other dates, such as dental appointments, dance recitals, sports games, and so on.
Establish rules such as the following:
- Each parent must order his or her own tickets for children’s events.
- Each parent must make his or her own arrangements at school to get information.
- It is not up to your former spouse to do those things or provide information for you.
- It’s up to you to take the initiative.
- Don’t make your son or daughter into the man or woman of the house.
- Don’t turn your son or daughter into your best friend and confidant.
- Don’t fill the void in your bed by allowing your child to sleep there. If you eventually start a relationship and no longer allow your child into your bed because you are sharing it with someone else, the child could feel displaced.
If you are the noncustodial parent, here are some ideas to help you maintain a positive relationship with your children:
- Some schools allow children to leave the grounds for lunch; you may be able to take them out to lunch without affecting the custodial parent’s time.
- As much as you can, duplicate at your home the little things that your kids love at the custodial parent’s home–things like special Barbie dolls, books, and so on. Send out the message that you care. Duplicating items will remove the stress children may feel about taking their favorite things to the other parent’s home or about forgetting to bring them (but keep in mind that some items, like the favorite blanket or stuffed animal, can’t be duplicated)
Remember, your children still have two parents. They still have a family, it’s the dynamics which have changed and up to parents to minimize the conflict and make transition as easy as possible.
August 24, 2009 at 8:21 pm
The Smart Divorce Workshop at Centennial College……..
It’s not too late to register – if you are looking to gain greater insight into the divorce process and save time, money – and your skin……..space is still available for the October 4, 2009 workshop.
For an unbiased look at what I talk about and the benefits so many have received, click on the link to view a recent article in Metro News entitled: Seminar targets “smart” divorce. Or, read below.
http://www.metronews.ca/toronto/learn/article/273568–seminar-targets-smart-divorce
There is also another article about the workshops, which appeared previously in The Toronto Star: http://www.thestar.com/SpecialSections/article/541734
Click on the link for more information:
http://db2.centennialcollege.ca/ce/coursedetail.php?CourseCode=CESI-602
| course code: |
CESI-602 |
| course name: |
THE SMART DIVORCE |
| category: |
Lifestyle & Leisure |
| description: |
People often divorce without understanding that it is a process that has both legal and emotional components. Myths and misunderstandings prevail about the effects of divorce on parents and children. This workshop will help those contemplating or experiencing divorce navigate the process. Learn what to expect about all aspects of the divorce process, how to work more effectively with a lawyer and other professionals, and strategies and tips to reduce the complexity and costs. Become better prepared for your divorce, with focus and confidence, while saving time and money. |
| web site: |
http://www.centennialcollege.ca/fun |
| certificate: |
|
| register online: |
https://secure.centennialcollege.ca/webreg |
|
Metro News
Seminar targets ‘smart’ divorce
RAFAEL BRUSILOW
FOR METRO CANADA
August 05, 2009 2:28 a.m.
Worrying about divorce and its complications? It may be time to go back to school.
A three-hour seminar titled The Smart Divorce is being offered by Centennial College’s School of Continuing Education to help people understand the challenging complications involved in a legal marital split.
The seminar, part of Centennial’s Life and Career Skills division, offers tips and strategies for dealing with all aspects of divorce, including the legal and emotional components of divorce, how it affects children and parents alike, how to look for lawyers and deal with them efficiently and effectively, and where to turn for support.
“The course is for people who are contemplating it or are in the situation, experiencing the divorce process already,” said Mary Devine, chair of Centennial’s School of Continuing Education. “People can take away some strategies, skills and an increased confidence to work through their own situation.”
Instructor and divorce consultant Deborah Moskovitch, author of The Smart Divorce, will head up the course.
Moskovitch went through her own messy divorce years ago and wants to pass the lessons she learned on to others who have never experienced the whirlwind of emotions and legal tangles at the root of any divorce. Most important of all, she hopes to instill a sense of hope in people worried that divorce is the end of the line emotionally.
“I truly believe that you can build a better life than you had before. Even if you were a victim, you have to rise above it and really find that happiness,” she said.
Moskovitch says attendance in the course in previous sittings has been almost an even 50/50 split among men and women.
The Smart Divorce runs on Oct. 4 from 10 a.m. to 1 p.m. at Centennial and costs $32. For more information, visit centennialcollege.ca.
August 17, 2009 at 3:20 am
The Smart Divorce® Workshop Series
These workshops are appropriate for individuals contemplating or already experiencing a divorce. Strategies for reducing financial costs and personal turmoil will be presented. Participants will learn what to expect legally and emotionally, and so be able to move through the process with confidence and focus while saving time and money. A subsequent session will address parenting issues, how to work with parenting experts more effectively, and available resources. Feedback from therapists and lawyers has indicated that The Smart Divorce Workshops have helped to prepare individuals for the process and make them better clients.
I have added two new workshops to the series called – Taking Control of Your Finances – with guest speakers Atsuko Hiroaka and Aaron Nimon, both Investment Advisors of BMO Nesbit Burns. The focus of these sessions is to help manage and effectively deal with your financial concerns; how to overcome your fears and understand the financial considerations as you work through the divorce process and postdivorce concerns.
Click on the link for more information: The Smart Divorce Workshop Series
Program details:
The Smart Divorce: Learning the Basics – February 4, 2009
The Smart Divorce: Taking Control of Your Finances – February 11, 2009
with Guest Speaker, Investment Advisor – Aaron Nimon of BMO Nesbit Burns
The Smart Divorce: Parenting Through Divorce – February 18, 2009 2008
The Smart Divorce: Taking Control of Your Finances – February 25, 2009
with Guest Speaker, Investment Advisor – Atsuko Hiroaka of BMO Nesbit Burns
“Your seminar game the confidence I needed to start my divorce. I know what to do now and feel I’m not alone.” Dave C. Toronto
“I met a client who took your seminar today. An educated client makes this work so much easier!” Jacqueline Vanbetlehem, Mediator and Family Therapist in Oakville
Location: 12 Lawton Boulevard, Toronto (Yonge and St. Clair)
Registration Fee: $25 per workshop
Call The Smart Divorce at 905 695 0270 or email info@thesmartdivorce.com
SPACES ARE LIMITED, CALL TODAY
December 12, 2008 at 3:43 pm
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