Posts filed under ‘Repartnering’
Being the Strong Man a Woman Wants
This program on The Smart Divorce radio show with Deborah Moskovitch features Elliott Katz, author of seven nonfiction books. Elliott teaches the principles he shares in his book: Being a Strong Man a Woman Wants
After the end of a relationship, Elliott sought to learn about being a man in a relationship. He found books on marriage and relationships said little to him. He found powerful timeless insights in the lessons that fathers and other older male role models taught younger men. People started seeking his advice and would say, “Why didn’t someone tell me this before?”
Moving beyond the trendy ideas about a man’s role – that just don’t seem to work – Elliott shares insights on being a man that have withstood the test of time. Interestingly, these insights are the traits that he heard many women complain were lacking in men today – showing leadership, making decisions and taking responsibility.
Topics in this program include:
- Why are women so frustrated with today’s men?
- How does growing up without strong male role models affect men today?
- The lack of “quality” men is a common complaint from women today. What happened to today’s men?
- Does today’s strong woman today want a strong man?
- What are the traits of a strong man?
Tune in and listen to what Elliott has to share
http://www.divorcesourceradio.com/being-the-strong-man-a-woman-wants/
Why has the divorce rate risen so high?
The evolution of the
high divorce rate
The Canadian divorce rate has risen over 1,000 per cent over the last 50 years. Find out why.
- By:
- Deborah Moskovitch
Have you ever stopped to ponder why the divorce rate has risen so dramatically over the past 50 years? When my parents married in the 1950s the divorce rate was minimal. According to Statistics Canada, in 1951 there were only 5,270 divorces in all of Canada. The number rose dramatically to a staggering 70,226 divorces in 2008 – a whopping 1,232% increase in total divorces over 50 years. This compares with an increase in the total population of only 139%. Divorce was a rare event previous to the first world war with a rate of less than one per 1,000 of the yearly number of marriages, says Stats Can.
There has been significant progress in divorce reform making it easier and fairer to obtain. Researchers would most likely agree that not only has divorce become more socially acceptable, but divorce laws have also changed to provide a more equitable resolution for many since the late 1960s. The amendment to the Divorce Act to permit the reason for divorce as no-fault (in other words, no-blame divorce) has radically altered the factors influencing the decision to divorce.
In other words divorce has become less of a stigma, you don’t have to prove fault, and there is more fairness in addressing financial concerns for the disadvantaged spouse. In addition, there has been extensive research on the impact of divorce upon the family, children, social outcomes and so much more. This learning has enabled the development of more effective resources to help the divorcing individual. No longer does one feel forced to stay in a marriage when there is a serious breach of trust, or any kind abuse. These are very positive outcomes of divorce reform.
The grass isn’t always greener, so why the high divorce rate?
But, knowing what we do — that the grass isn’t always greener on the other side, that divorce can be hard on children, lifestyle is often diminished, and the divorce rate rises with each subsequent marriage — why is the divorce rate still so high? Has the traditional wedding vow promising to love and cherish each other in sickness and in health until death do us part lost its meaning? Or, have expectations about marriage and what we want out of a partner changed over the years, resulting in this dramatic rise in divorce.
Choosing to divorce is certainly not an easy decision. For most, the decision to divorce is a result of a great deal of soul searching and questioning. While the legal system for divorce is far from perfect, it is significantly better than it was in the 1950s. But, upon closer examination, it appears that changing attitudes towards relationships and marriage have impacted the divorce rate over the last 50 years. I spoke with one of the foremost sociologists and researchers in North America, Dr. Paul Amato, who has conducted extensive research on marital quality and stability.
The 1950s and “companionate marriage”
I learned that to better understand divorce, you need to understand marriage and the attitudes towards each have changed and impacted these momentous decisions. Dr. Amato states that marriage in the 50s and 60s was called the “companionate” marriage. The feature of a companionate marriage was the idea of successful teamwork. That is, husbands and wives got married because they wanted to work as a team to accomplish a lot of important life goals — like running a home, being economically secure, raising a family and so on. Those marriages weren’t perfect; they weren’t egalitarian because the husband was the head of the household. Nevertheless the assumption was that each partner was expected to sacrifice something of their own for the success of the team, and that marriage was more important than the individual.
The reason people get married today
To read the whole article click on the link below:
http://www.more.ca/relationships/single-life/the-evolution-of-the-high-divorce-rate/a/36793
Finding your Authentic Self, Happiness and Moving On
A new show from The Smart Divorce has just been posted. Tune in to hear our guest Hanna McDonough.
Our guest, Hanna McDonough, is Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, and Psychotherapist (www.hannatherapy.com). Ms. McDonough shares her wisdom on finding the best in yourself, and delves into relationships and what’s important – is it sex, money? And, what are the differences between men and women and they way each values a relationship. We explore the gamut in topics and – learn about living your life as an exclamation, not an explanation.
Topics in this program include:
- The value of a therapist: how to find a good therapist, when to stay and when to go
- Understanding a verbally abusive relationship
- Exploring transformative therapy
- How to keep your marriage HOT
- Putting children first
To listen to the podcast, click on the link
http://www.divorcesourceradio.com/finding-your-authentic-self-happiness-and-moving-on/
Remarriage: Avoid the blended family breakdown
Before you say your vows for the second time, get expert tips
for blending your families
Did you know that the divorce rate rises with each subsequent marriage? The divorce rate rises over 60% with a 2nd marriage and skyrockets to over 70% with a third time marriage. One of the contributing factors to the lack of a successful partnership is avoiding the discussion about merging two families together.
Please click on the click to read more about tips and strategies as to how to connect two new families. http://www.more.ca/relationships/family-and-friends/remarriage-avoid-the-blended-family-breakdown/a/29507
I wrote this article for More magazine’s online edition. More magazine is a publication which celebrates women over 40. Men should also feel comfortable reading this article as it offers great tips that apply to both men and women. If you would like to browse through this magazine click on the following link: www.more.ca
But the bottom line is what ever you call it—a step family, blended family, combined family—it’s a newly reconfigured family unit. It takes time to bring this new family together, and it takes effort—just remember to resolve conflict, demonstrate love and find the fun.
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