The Smart Divorce® Resource Tool Kit is now available, order yours today– one easy phone call or email, to get this valuable resource.  It’s one of the  most comprehensive programs providing a full overview of the divorce process — and endorsed by judges, lawyers, and mental health professionals.  The Smart Divorce Resource Toolkit will help you make smart decisions for you and your family – taking you through the entire divorce process, removing the mystery and misconceptions about the outcomes of divorce, how to cut down on your legal bills and so much more.

This comprehensive resource  provides an understanding of all aspects of the divorce process; helping you understand the two sides to your divorce – the “emotional divorce” and the “legal divorce”

Move through your divorce with focus, hope and confidence.

The Smart Divorce Resource Toolkit makes the divorce process easy to understand, helping you to be strategic while making sound, smart decisions.  After all, information is knowledge and knowledge is power.

   Call 905 695 0270 or email info@thesmartdivorce.com to get your copy of The Smart Divorce Resource Toolkit. 

Included in The Smart Divorce Toolkit are tips, strategies and ideas, packaged as never seen before.  This smart toolkit comes with:

The Smart Divorce Resource Toolkit is designed specifically to meet your needs — to help reduce stress, educate and inform you about the divorce process in a cost effective, easy to understand way. Guidance and information from leading family law lawyers, mental health professionals, and parenting experts well versed on the needs of those in the divorce process are included.  And, it’s put together in one smart package, making it uncomplicated, and effortless to understand.

The Tool Kit contains 4 CDs covering the myriad of issues, concerns and questions most people have about divorce – removing the mystery, complexity, and confusion about divorce.  Also included are Smart Guides which add another layer of detail to The Smart Divorce Audios, and provide a step by step plan for going through the divorce process.

The Smart Divorce Audios. 

These unique and informative CDs provide tips and strategies to help navigate this difficult time, educate listeners about the divorce process and provide practical information on getting through it with focus, hope and confidence.

• Audio 1 – The Emotional  Divorce
• Audio 2– The Legal Divorce
• Audio 3 – Smart Co-Parenting: Putting Your Children’s Best Interests First
• Audio 4 – Rebuilding Your Life Post Divorce

Smart Guides.

Tip sheets that support the information in the audios providing detail and understanding of the specific topic.

Smart Guides:

• Planning for a Smart Divorce
• Getting Your Finances Organized for Divorce
• Coping with the Stress of the Emotional Divorce
• Coping with Stress in a High Stress Environment
• Understanding Your Divorce Options
• Finding a Good Divorce Lawyer
• Smart Co-Parenting
• Living Separate and Apart
• Strengthening the Blended Family Bonds
• Divorce Financial Check List
• Understanding Marital Property Laws
• Important Financial Steps Required to Prepare for Divorce

Don’t delay, order your kit today

Call 905 695 0270 or email info@thesmartdivorce.com to get your copy of The Smart Divorce Resource Toolkit.

Is divorce always the outcome when there is conflict in the marriage?  Of course not, there are options to consider, and help available to put your marriage back on track.  This episode explores the role of marriage counseling, and the next steps required if the marriage results in divorce.  Once the decision to divorce is made, there are many considerations and issues to ponder.  Our guest, psychologist Dr. Robert A. Simon http://dr-simon.com/ provides us with tips and strategies for getting through the early days of separation with your sanity and dignity intact.

Topics in this program include:

• The benefits of marriage counseling
• Building your support network
• Finding a therapist
• Telling your children about divorce
• Emotional healing and coping strategies
• And so much more……..

To find out more click on the link:

http://www.divorcesourceradio.com/i-think-my-marriage-is-over-what-should-i-do-now-the-smart-divorce/

The Smart Divorce® Workshop Series

These workshops are appropriate for individuals contemplating or already experiencing a divorce. Strategies for reducing financial costs and personal turmoil will be presented. Participants will learn what to expect legally and emotionally, and so be able to move through the process with confidence and focus while saving time and money. A subsequent session will address parenting issues, how to work with parenting experts more effectively, and available resources. Feedback from therapists and lawyers has indicated that The Smart Divorce Workshops have helped to prepare individuals for the process and make them better clients.

I have added two new workshops to the series called – Taking Control of Your Finances – with guest speakers Atsuko Hiroaka and Aaron Nimon, both Investment Advisors of BMO Nesbit Burns. The focus of these sessions is to help manage and effectively deal with your financial concerns; how to overcome your fears and understand the financial considerations as you work through the divorce process and postdivorce concerns.

Click on the link for more information: the-smart-divorce-workshop-f09-2-finr1

Program details:

The Smart Divorce: Learning the Basics – February 4, 2009

The Smart Divorce: Taking Control of Your Finances – February 11, 2009

with Guest Speaker, Investment Advisor – Aaron Nimon of BMO Nesbit Burns

The Smart Divorce: Parenting Through Divorce – February 18, 2009 2008

The Smart Divorce: Taking Control of Your Finances – February 25, 2009

with Guest Speaker, Investment Advisor – Atsuko Hiroaka of BMO Nesbit Burns

“Your seminar game the confidence I needed to start my divorce. I know what to do now and feel I’m not alone.” Dave C. Toronto

“I met a client who took your seminar today. An educated client makes this work so much easier!” Jacqueline Vanbetlehem, Mediator and Family Therapist in Oakville

Location: 12 Lawton Boulevard, Toronto (Yonge and St. Clair)

Registration Fee: $25 per workshop

Call The Smart Divorce at 905 695 0270 or email info@thesmartdivorce.com

SPACES ARE LIMITED, CALL TODAY

If you are facing divorce or know someone who is,

this may be of interest…

The CBC showed a documentary this week called ” How to Divorce and Not Wreck the Kids” it is airing again Saturday January 10, 2009 at 10 pm ET/PT on CBC Newsworld. How to Divorce & Not Wreck the Kids takes viewers inside one of life’s most devastating transitions as three Canadian couples, determined to keep the needs of their children first, work through their separations on camera.

Within this documentary, Dr. Joan Kelly, an internationally acclaimed practitioner, researcher, educator and author in the field of divorce and separation, offers excellent advice to help put your children’s best interest first.

For Dr. Kelly’s Top 10 checklist to help protect your kids, more information and to watch this documentary online visit the CBC website:

http://www.cbc.ca/documentaries/doczone/2009/howtodivorce/index.html

This is a very informative documentary and offers insight into the divorcing process using Collaborative Law.

Divorce is a process with a colossal emotional component. If you’re not careful to deal with the emotions separately and outside of the legal process you are in danger of making decisions you will later come to regret.

The kaleidoscope of emotions

The emotions can be intense and vary from person to person. What you may be feeling is fear, anger, rage, sadness, guilt, shock, frustration and even relief. I remember, as I went through my divorce, wanting to desperately piece my world back together and wanted to numb the pain. But of course, I later came to realize that if you don’t deal with the pain of your emotions, somewhere later, the emotions will catch up to you and become your emotional baggage.

Divorce has become so common today that

people underestimate how powerful an

experience it truly is

People don’t know how to react to divorcing people. There are no rituals or customs associated with mourning the loss of a marriage. There are all sorts of customs associated with losing a loved one, but how do you mourn the loss of a marriage? Without saving cavalier or glib, there are some ideas which don’t sound so bad. I’m starting to hear of people developing their own little healing ceremonies by throwing divorce parties, sending out separation announcements, burying their wedding band, or running away going on a little exotic vacation and so on. But what you also need to do is recognize that you are grieving. Grief is not a mental disorder; it is a natural, if painful, emotion that needs to be worked through!

Managing the grief

Grief presents an opportunity to make important choices and think about the life you want to lead. There is an incredible amount of emotional work and healing that needs to be done when you’re grieving, especially during the first year of tow of going through a divorce and separation.

Ways to feel better

If you behave passively, like a leaf that is simply tossed this way and that by the wind, you are taking away your own freedom to move forward with your life. A smart divorce requires you to do some work, not be passive. Once you truly accept this, you will have set your feet firmly on a path that can enrich you rather than diminish you.

Take charge

• Give yourself the opportunity to explore and consciously make choices about the life you want to lead.
• Envision what you would like life to look like when you are ready to start moving on, and think about what you need to do to get there.
• Take care of yourself both emotionally and physically.
• Emotionally: develop your support network of friends, family, clergy parenting groups, support groups and perhaps a therapist.
• Physically: Eat right and exercise. Try as hard as you can to lead a healthy “balanced” life.
• Make time for yourself – do something which makes you happy.

Managing a divorce is a process. You might be wondering if it’s really possible to get a smart divorce and move on to a better life? The answer is yes – with a lot of hard work. Divorce is probably one of the most emotional experiences you will ever face. The process can be overwhelming. But, it need not be, if you are able to make your decisions with focus, hope and confidence.

How to Make Smart Decisions About Divorce

Get informed about the divorce process. Take the time to find a divorce lawyer that is right for you. Don’t be afraid to ask questions. Make sure to understand the dispute resolutions negotiation, mediation, collaborative family law, arbitration, mediation/arbitration and litigation. As best you can, try to treat your divorce as a business transaction; keep the emotions of divorce out of your lawyer’s office. You’re in charge; make sure to understand all your options before making decisions. Information is knowledge and knowledge is power!

Staying Sane Throughout Divorce

Divorce has become so common today that people underestimate how powerful an experience it is. Understand that you are grieving your divorce, which is normal and to be expected. The fact is you are experiencing losses you probably never thought would happen. To help get you through this difficult time, develop your support network including friends, family, clergy, parenting groups, divorce groups, and/or a therapist. I promise you, you will feel better. As the saying goes – time is a healer!

Coping Strategies

The number-one coping strategy is to get yourself in a position of wanting very little from your ex-spouse. The less you want from him/her, the less frustrated you will be. Think about it – if you couldn’t change your ex when you were married, you certainly aren’t going to change him/her now. Also, realize you will never get the apology you want and may even deserve. Taking control of your life, getting organized and making informed decisions will be empowering.

Moving On

You need to give yourself the opportunity to explore and consciously make choices about the life you want to lead post divorce. Envision what you would like life to like to look like when you are ready to start moving on, and think about what you need to do to get there. Don’t procrastinate! It’s up to you to make these things happen. Your goal should be to create a better life today than the one you had before.

Your New Found Time

You will likely have to get used to the fact that your children are not going to be with you 24/7. They will be spending part of their time with your ex and part with you. You can’t control what goes on when your kids are with their other parent. Learn to let go and don’t worry about the stuff you can’t control. Use the time when your kids are not with you productively. Pursue your dreams and your interests. Maybe now you will even have the time to see a movie or go to the gym. So, go to your closet and clean out the emotional demons, put on your favorite jeans and t-shirt or great new outfit and make plans for a fabulous evening. Just go out and have fun!

• understand the “emotional divorce” versus the “legal divorce”
• understand the various dispute resolutions available
• make informed decisions
• minimize the financial, legal and emotional stress

Be SMART about your divorce

State your goals and objectives at the beginning. Make sure these are realistic.
Maximize your information and knowledge base.
Avoid reacting to your emotions.
Retain the best possible divorce team your budget allows.
Treat your divorce as a business transaction.

How to start The Smart Divorce

1. Develop your support network – therapist, support groups, clergy, divorce consultant and friends.
2. Choose your lawyer carefully – go to a consultation before you decide to retain
3. Be informed. Understand the dispute resolutions – do-it-yourself; negotiation; mediation; collaborative family law; arbitration; litigation.
4. Put your children’s best interests first.
5. Hire the right team of professionals based on your needs – parenting expert; financial adviser and others.
6. Get your finances in order.
7. Stay organized – create your divorce notebook and divorce journal.
8. Have a vision for how you want your life to unfold and develop strategies to get there.

The Smart Divorce: Proven Strategies and Valuable Advice from 100 Top Divorce Lawyers, Financial Advisers, Counselors and Other Experts.

I created this blog for the same reason that I wrote the The Smart Divorce. I realized that most people going through divorce are confused and don’t know where to turn to for information. I learned that many people feel alone and are looking for some impartial advice. That is what I provide through “The Smart Divorce”—the understanding and education about the divorce process so that people can make decisions with confidence and move on with the rest of their lives – intact and without regret.

Use this blog as your support group, educator and guide. I invite you to share your comments, ideas, thoughts, concerns, feelings….anything and everything about divorce. You will see, you’re not alone. I also invite you to visit my website at www.thesmartdivorce.com. The secret to being smart about divorce means managing the emotional side and the legal side of divorce separately. If you can do this, you are likely to save time, trouble, and money on your way to a smart divorce and a better life. We have a responsibility to ourselves, our children, our future and their future. I look forward to hearing from you………Deborah