Posts filed under ‘Marriage’
Divorce Rates in Canada on Decline: But So Are Marriage Rates
I have been quoted in The Huffington Post to provide an understanding of what might be going on with the declining divorce rates.
Divorce Rates In Canada On Decline: StatsCan Numbers Show Fewer Cases
The Huffington Post Canada | By Rebecca Zamon
Divorce is on the decline in Canada for the third year in a row, according to a new Statistics Canada report. In a paper entitled Divorce Cases In Civil Court, 2010/11, author Mary Bess Kelly details the number of divorce cases reported from Nova Scotia, Ontario, Alberta, British Columbia, Yukon, Northwest Territories and Nunavut, representing 66 per cent of Canada’s population.
According to these statistics, 53,804 new divorce cases were brought to civil courts in 2010-2011, a two per cent decrease from the previous year, and a number that showcases a five-year decrease across the six provinces and territories (all numbers for Alberta weren’t available). But it’s not as simple as assuming husbands and wives are staying together more than ever. Marriage rates across Canada had started dropping a few years back, going from 150,505 in 2006 to 147,288 in 2008. As Kelly notes in the article:
Family structures in Canada are changing. The proportion of married couples has been steadily decreasing over the past 20 years while common-law unions are becoming more numerous. The proportion of lone-parent families has also been steadily rising since the mid-1960s (Statistics Canada 2007). Although the number and rate of marriages has been declining in recent years, the number of married couples is still much greater than the number of common-law couples in Canada (Statistics Canada 2011 and 2007).
“It makes sense to me, because more and more people are choosing just to live together, which probably is the reason behind the decline,” says divorce expert andHuffington Post blogger Deborah Moskovitch, author of “The Smart Divorce.” “It’s not like people are choosing to opt out of a relationship, but they’re not making it official.”
Click on the link to see the full article http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2012/03/29/divorce-rates-in-canada-decline_n_1387979.html
How to Make Your Marriage Last
5 Questions to Ask Before You Get Married
This article first appeared on The Huffington Post, Weddings
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/deborah-moskovitch/5-questions-to-ask-before-married_b_977064.html
While it sounds rather obvious, picking the partner that’s right for you is a sure-fire way to keep the love flame burning and your marriage last.
As a divorce consultant and educator, I’ve learned so much about why relationships don’t work — and the bottom line answer is that not enough communication and introspection have taken place to make the relationship work. People don’t really understand themselves and their partners. And, consequently, they make decisions to pair up for all the wrong reasons.
According to HuffPost blogger Jennifer Gauvain, 30 percent of women have an inkling before they walk down the aisle that they are going to marry the wrong person. If you want to ensure that you are in the 70 percent majority and are marrying for love and all the right reasons, I’ve outlined some thoughts and considerations. If you don’t know the answers to these questions, it is better to start the conversations now, before you say “I do,” than after and say “I want out.”
Considerations and Conversations:
1. Do you and your partner have similar social values and outlooks on life?
2. Have you discussed finances? Are you or your partner bringing in any debts to this union, and if so, do you have a repayment strategy? Are you a spender or a saver? What about your partner? And, if your spending styles are drastically different, how do you plan on overcoming these differences and work towards common goals?
3. Do you have similar life goals, like starting a family? Work ethic? Lifestyle? And if these ideals don’t mesh, then ask yourself if you can realistically overcome these differences together. If you can’t, is it in your best interest to stay together?
4. If you want children together, have you discussed religious issues (especially important if this is an interfaith relationship) parenting styles and family values?
5. Next on the agenda is to ask yourself what you want and need from a partner. Many people today are looking for their “soul mate” and someone to complete them. But, someone can’t make you happy, only you can really make yourself happy.
There is work required to really get to know your partner — isn’t it worth the effort to ensure a lasting, loving marriage? And remember, don’t expect that things will change once you get married. If your partner didn’t change while you were dating, what is going to be different once you are married? What you will have to change is yourself, your reaction to those behaviors and attitudes that you didn’t necessarily agree with.
Difficult conversations, constant communication, trust, respect and honesty, while not guarantees, will certainly help in keeping your soul mate in your soul, and not under your sole as you walk all over each other.
If you’ve made it this far and still want to say “I Do,” congratulations and may you have a long, happy and healthy partnership together.
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