Posts filed under 'Magazine articles'
Out of the closet: support for the straight spouse
Just because your spouse came out of the closet,
doesn’t mean you have to go in.
I have had several individuals in my divorce consulting practice tell me that their spouse declared they were gay. They felt alone – but this is not a rare event. While Canadian figures are not available, conservative estimates indicate that roughly two million lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) individuals in the United States have married someone of the opposite sex. When these partners come out of the closet, one third of these relationships break up right away, a third stay together for a year and then separate, and another third commit to making it work – although three years later, only half of this last group of relationships are still intact.
Please click on the click to read more and a reality check:
I wrote this article for More magazine’s online edition. More magazine is a publication which celebrates women over 40. Men should also feel comfortable reading this article as it offers great tips that apply to both men and women. I’ve written many articles for this site. If you would like to browse through this magazine click on the following link: www.more.ca http://www.more.ca/relationships/single-life
Getting through these issues and feelings, and effectively coping can take anywhere from 3 – 6 years to properly heal. Statistics indicate that it takes one year of healing for every five years of marriage. And, once this process takes place, for many, there is a realization that their partner really did marry them out of love, and not to hide in a closet — they fully intended to make it work. So, while these couples cannot be lovers, perhaps they can still be good friends.
Add comment August 22, 2010
Divorce myths debunked
Are children of divorce really doomed? Does communication get better?
There are many myths and misconceptions about the outcome of divorce will be postdivorce. People often have incorrect visions about how their life is going to unfold – with their former partner, their children, dating, and the all too common thought “the grass is greener on the other side.”
Please click on the link for a reality check:
http://www.more.ca/relationships/single-life/divorce-myths-debunked/a/30888/2
I wrote this article for More magazine’s online edition. More magazine is a publication which celebrates women over 40. Men should also feel comfortable reading this article as it offers great tips that apply to both men and women. If you would like to browse through this magazine click on the following link: www.more.ca
People need to process what the separation means to them on an emotional level; to consider the marriage/relationship in terms of what was good, what was not so good, and how they may have contributed; and, who they are and want to become, as individuals, separate from the relationship. It does one good to become conscious of lessons learned from the old relationship, or else risk a replay of the dynamics in subsequent relationships.
Add comment July 22, 2010
Remarriage: Avoid the blended family breakdown
Before you say your vows for the second time, get expert tips
for blending your families
Did you know that the divorce rate rises with each subsequent marriage? The divorce rate rises over 60% with a 2nd marriage and skyrockets to over 70% with a third time marriage. One of the contributing factors to the lack of a successful partnership is avoiding the discussion about merging two families together.
Please click on the click to read more about tips and strategies as to how to connect two new families. http://www.more.ca/relationships/family-and-friends/remarriage-avoid-the-blended-family-breakdown/a/29507
I wrote this article for More magazine’s online edition. More magazine is a publication which celebrates women over 40. Men should also feel comfortable reading this article as it offers great tips that apply to both men and women. If you would like to browse through this magazine click on the following link: www.more.ca
But the bottom line is what ever you call it—a step family, blended family, combined family—it’s a newly reconfigured family unit. It takes time to bring this new family together, and it takes effort—just remember to resolve conflict, demonstrate love and find the fun.
Add comment March 8, 2010
Mapping out a prenup
Many people think a prenuptial agreement is for the rich and famous. However, there are many issues that the average person needs to consider and discuss with their new partner. It’s an excellent opportunity to understand his/her financial perspectives and expectations before you get married. Many people are afraid to have this important conversation as they fear it might ruin the relationship. But, if you can’t talk about the important things and expect that things will just “work itself out” when married, it doesn’t always happen that way. Don’t you want an understanding of how each other thinks, and ensure you are on the same page?
- Think of it as marriage/divorce insurance. You want the marriage to work, but if it doesn’t you’ve protected yourself.
- The blended family dilemma. You want your children to support your new marriage; however you want them to feel protected as well.
- What if you die? Without sounding morbid, it is a consideration……how you want your assets to be divided between your new partner and your children.
There are many other obvious considerations. A recent article in Canadian Business answers this very important question:
I’m about to get married for the second time. How do I ensure that my children and my new wife won’t ever have to duke it out over my estate after I’m gone?
1 comment October 30, 2009
