Posts filed under ‘legal divorce’
The Smart Divorce Workshop Series – Space Still Available
The Smart Divorce® Workshop Series
These workshops are appropriate for individuals contemplating or already experiencing a divorce. Strategies for reducing financial costs and personal turmoil will be presented. Participants will learn what to expect legally and emotionally, and so be able to move through the process with confidence and focus while saving time and money. A subsequent session will address parenting issues, how to work with parenting experts more effectively, and available resources. Feedback from therapists and lawyers has indicated that The Smart Divorce Workshops have helped to prepare individuals for the process and make them better clients.
I have added two new workshops to the series called – Taking Control of Your Finances – with guest speakers Atsuko Hiroaka and Aaron Nimon, both Investment Advisors of BMO Nesbit Burns. The focus of these sessions is to help manage and effectively deal with your financial concerns; how to overcome your fears and understand the financial considerations as you work through the divorce process and postdivorce concerns.
Click on the link for more information: the-smart-divorce-workshop-f09-2-finr1
Program details:
The Smart Divorce: Learning the Basics – February 4, 2009
The Smart Divorce: Taking Control of Your Finances – February 11, 2009
with Guest Speaker, Investment Advisor – Aaron Nimon of BMO Nesbit Burns
The Smart Divorce: Parenting Through Divorce – February 18, 2009 2008
The Smart Divorce: Taking Control of Your Finances – February 25, 2009
with Guest Speaker, Investment Advisor – Atsuko Hiroaka of BMO Nesbit Burns
“Your seminar game the confidence I needed to start my divorce. I know what to do now and feel I’m not alone.” Dave C. Toronto
“I met a client who took your seminar today. An educated client makes this work so much easier!” Jacqueline Vanbetlehem, Mediator and Family Therapist in Oakville
Location: 12 Lawton Boulevard, Toronto (Yonge and St. Clair)
Registration Fee: $25 per workshop
Call The Smart Divorce at 905 695 0270 or email info@thesmartdivorce.com
SPACES ARE LIMITED, CALL TODAY
Taking doom and gloom out of the divorce process
Taking the doom and gloom out of the divorce process can sound like a daunting process. But, it need not be if you are smart about your divorce.
With a smart divorce, you realize that the pain of divorce can be lessened dramatically by properly handling the competing emotional and legal sides of divorce. And, that you deal with the emotional side of divorce outside of the legal system. If you are able to do this then you are more likely to gain perspective on your legal options early on; this will assist you in making informed decisions, protect you from the damage that uncontrolled emotions can cause; and guide you in meeting your children’s best interest.
Being smart about divorce also means arming yourself with knowledge about the divorce process. There are many ways to research divorce. Here are a few ways that I can help you navigate the divorce process:
- Reading the book, The Smart Divorce – available at amazon.com, amazon.ca, barnesandnoble.com and wherever books are sold.
- My One-on-One divorce consulting can help you think strategically about the divorce process. one_on_one_consulting-pdf
- Enrolling in one of The Smart Divorce workshops.
There was a recent article in The Toronto Star which outlines the benefits of The Smart Divorce workshops. http://www.thestar.com/Comment/article/541734
If you think that any of this would be helpful for you, please don’t hesitate to contact me at info@thesmartdivorce.com
Wishing you all the best during this difficult time,
Deborah
The Smart Divorce Tip Sheet
THE SMART DIVORCE
Tip Sheet
What is A Smart Divorce?
The Smart Divorce process will help you to:
- understand the “emotional divorce” versus the “legal divorce”
- understand the various dispute resolutions available
- make informed decisions
- minimize the financial, legal and emotional stress
Be SMART about your divorce.
State your goals and objectives at the beginning. Make sure these are realistic.
Maximize your information and knowledge base.
Avoid reacting to your emotions.
Retain the best possible divorce team your budget allows.
Treat your divorce as a business transaction.
How to start The Smart Divorce
-Develop your support network – therapist, support groups, Clergy, divorce consultant and friends.
- interview 3 family law lawyers.
-Be informed. Understand the dispute resolutions – do-it-yourself; negotiation; mediation; collaborative family law; arbitration; litigation.
-Put your children’s best interests first.
-Hire the right team of professionals based on your needs – parenting expert; financial adviser and others.
-Get your finances in order.
-Stay organized – create your divorce notebook and divorce journal.
-Have a vision for how you want your life to unfold and develop strategies to get there.
You may contact Deborah by email at info@thesmartdivorce.com
or, by calling her office at 905 695 0270
Deborah Moskovitch is a divorce consultant and educator, and author of The Smart Divorce: Proven Strategies and Valuable Advice from 100 Top Divorce Lawyers, Financial Advisers, Counselors and Other Experts. Deborah has become an opinion leader in the media and has shared her insights and research on television and radio to explain that divorce can be managed in smarter ways.
Copyright ©2008 The Smart Divorce and Deborah Moskovitch
All rights reserved. No portion of this material may be reproduced in any form without the express written permission of Deborah Moskovitch and The Smart Divorce
Tips to keeping organized during divorce
The divorce process can be overwhelming. The need to stay focused and organized is even that much more important. Here are some ideas to help achieve those objectives……..
Keep a “Divorce Journal”
If you’re in the midst of a divorce, or even contemplating one, consider keeping a journal of events for your lawyer. Note all events that you feel are relevant to your divorce and may affect the outcome. These could be events that involve you or your children. You and your lawyer will want to refer to this journal to help you confirm relevant dates and information. You might want to include this information in affidavits, letters, etc. It helps with accuracy of information and validates facts, dates, and times.
The journal might prove especially important if you end up going to trial. Judges don’t know what really happened; they only know what the lawyers, through their clients, tell them. So a diary of everything that happens could be used as evidence if you go to court. The party that fails to keep a diary is at a significant disadvantage.
Create a Meetings Notebook
What I advise my clients which they find most helpful to staying organized, refreshing their memory, and ensuring they follow up on meetings and tasks is to create a “divorce notebook”. This book can be divided into four sections:
- Meeting agenda and questions
- Notes from the meeting
- Next steps or to do list. Include deadline dates, completion dates, and the date when the completed task or document was communicated or sent to your legal counsel.
- Contacts, their phone numbers, and miscellaneous information
When creating and maintaining your own notebook, be sure to date everything.
Set Up a Divorce Filing System
Your filing system need not be anything complicated or expensive, and simple file folders are perfect. I just happen to prefer legal size, but use whatever works best for you. One way to start is to file all of your divorce-related paperwork in chronological order within specific headings that are relevant to your case. Here are some ideas for the headings you may want to set up:
-correspondence with lawyer, organized by date and topic
-orders or agreements
-folder for each member of your divorce team (financial expert, parenting expert, and so forth).
-financial statements–the statements of assets and liabilities
-invoices/statements–all costs associated with your divorce
-parenting plan
-discovery or deposition transcripts.
If you want to get more detailed, you could arrange files more specifically –according to particular financial or child-related issues, for instance. Of course, the detail you go into also depends on the type of divorce you’re pursuing. For instance, you might not need a discovery or deposition file if you are not litigating.
Strategies for keeping your legal costs down
I know from the many people I speak with, that the monthly statement from their lawyer’s office seems to be the last piece of mail to get opened. It’s not like you are running to your mail to see if it is there. And, the questions you ask yourself as you open the statement can make you anxious. Are there enough funds in the retainer to cover this bill? Do I need to submit additional money? Why can’t I keep the bills down? Why does the bill add up to so much so quickly? Why? Why? Why?
Instead of asking yourself why, utilize the how to strategies to keep your legal costs down, while maintaining control over what is going on in your file.
Here are some cost saving tips to help you cut down on your legal bill:
Maximize your meeting time
- Schedule your meetings through your lawyer’s assistant.
- Make a list of questions you would like to discuss, organized by topic or issue.
- Have an agenda ready, with all items and issues to be discussed.
- Take notes.
- Do any follow-up work the lawyer gives you (reviewing documents, contacting a specific specialist, and so forth), and make sure it is done in a timely manner.
Make all communications cost effective
- Save up your questions. Don’t call or e-mail your lawyer every single time you have an inquiry.
- Check with your lawyer first and find out how he or she likes to handle communications–via e-mail, phone calls, or meetings with prepared agendas. Also ask for recommendations on making your communications more efficient.
Provide as much written information as possible
- Many lawyers have their clients write out an account of their marital history. Ask your lawyer if this is what should be done.
Use your lawyer’s services cost effectively
- Listen to your lawyer and take notes.
- Remember, if you want to vent and complain about your soon-to-be ex-spouse, the meter is still running.
- If you are able to, do certain tasks, such as filling out the financial statement, yourself.
- Don’t micromanage (pay extreme attention to the small details of) your case. This only causes your legal bills to escalate and slows down the process.
And, if there is something that doesn’t make
sense to you, ask your lawyer.
Organizing your finances during divorce
Developing realistic expectations when it comes
to finances is of utmost importance
One of the many concerns that my client’s voice most often during a consultation is their lack of knowledge and organization skills when it comes to their finances.
Getting your finances in order with the objective of cutting down on your legal expenses should be a priority
Lawyers don’t always agree on every issue. But, when it comes to finances, all lawyers agree on how important it is for their clients to be as financially aware as possible. It’s the best way to learn your rights and obligations and to determine realistic financial expectations early in the divorce process. And the more you can manage and organize your information for your lawyer, the more you can help reduce your lawyer’s billable hours!
Here are some ideas as to learn about your finances if you were not involved with finances during your marriage:
- Get more involved in your finances. Know the basics – pay the bills and file the statements. Learn how your daily and monthly expenses are managed.
- Understand where your money is coming from and understand how to budget.
- Take part in managing or setting up any investments, know what your outstanding mortgage is and the terms and so on.
- Gain awareness of your outstanding assets and liabilities.
Many lawyers suggest that if someone is contemplating a divorce or separating, one of the first things you should do is accumulate the financial information.
Once the divorce process is under way, your lawyer will need ready access to all relevant financial documents. Start by locating and gathering together the following records pertaining to both you and your spouse:
- social security numbers
- income tax returns for the past three years
- retirement savings plans statements for the past three years
- bank account statements
- insurance policies (life; automobile; house; other)
- stock certificates
- credit card bills
- employment payment stubs
- brokerage statements
- pension statements
- health insurance and work-related benefits
- real estate records
- receipts and monthly statements documenting household expenses and everyday expenses (groceries, gas, heat, water, personal grooming, transportation, gifts, clothing, laundry and cleaning supplies, entertainment, miscellaneous expenses, and so forth)
- list of all assets and liabilities
- date of separation (the date of separation, or “valuation date,” is the date that is used to determine the value of particular assets–the matrimonial home, bank statements, investments, and so forth)
Photocopy everything, and store your set in a separate folder from the original records. Don’t just keep the originals for your own personal use; the other side is entitled to these documents, too. If you do withhold these records from the other side, sooner or later you are going to be asked to provide them, which will cost you even more in legal fees.
Keeping this information organized, being well informed and involved will give you a feeling of control, reduce the stress, and help to develop realistic financial objectives.
Working effectively with your lawyer
A smart divorce involves moving effectively through the divorce process and understanding the roles both you and your lawyer play during this time. Although you’re the one paying for the lawyer’s services, you must be involved and realize it’s a job for you, too. There are some strategies you can use for working effectively together in order to save you time and money.
Your lawyer’s job
- Develop Realistic Expectations - One of the first things you will do with your lawyer is to discuss what you can expect to receive or pay out in terms of spousal support, child support, custody of and access to the children, and division of matrimonial assets. Your lawyer can help guide you as to what a realistic outcome can be. Trying to obtain a result which your lawyer does not feel you can achieve will only cause you to incur more in legal fees, heartache and frustration.
- Maximize the Economic Outcome – Lawyers view their job as getting the best deal for their clients, but the best deal may not necessarily be the biggest number, because there are other issues as well. Sometimes a lawyer prefers a smaller deal to ensure that the client will collect what was agreed to be paid, or to avoid a trial that might further damage the relationship between parties who must continue to co-parent their children. For this reason, a lawyer’s idea of the best deal and the client’s idea of the best deal may be different, and sometimes lawyers must get clients to realize that what is best for them isn’t necessarily what they think is best.
- Look Out for Your Children’s Best Interests – Many lawyers’ first focus with their clients is on working things out for the children. Unfortunately, some parents are still so emotionally distraught, or were such poor parents in the first place, that they do things that are in their own best interests, not the children’s. They attempt to hurt the other parent, which is ultimately bad for the children. Ethical lawyers will not deal with crazy agendas and destructive goals.
Your lawyer will advise and recommend, but will leave the final decision on any course of action to you, the client. If you want to work effectively with your lawyer, it’s as much a job for you as it is for him or her. Make sure you ask lots of questions, do your research and be informed.
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