Posts filed under ‘healing post divorce; moving on’
The anatomy of an affair
Tune into The Smart Divorce on Divorce Source Radio, to hear our guest Emily Brown explore affairs, and share her research and wisdom.
Our guest, Emily Brown, is Director of Key Bridge Therapy & Mediation Center in Arlington, VA. (http://www.affairs-help.com/); works with couples, individuals, and families regarding the underlying issues in marriage, divorce, and betrayal. An extramarital affair is one of the most painful experiences that couples face, and one of the greatest challenges for helping professionals. Whether you are seeking assistance in your personal life or you are professional seeking information to better help clients, this is the show that provides the wisdom and guidance so many need. Emily is the author of Patterns of Infidelity and Their Treatment, and Affairs: A Guide to Working Through the Repercussions of Infidelity, and numerous articles on affairs.
Topics in this program include:
- An in-depth look at the 6 different Affairs
- How to rescue a marriage if there has been an Affair
- Affair recovery: the process and insight
- Debunking the myths and misconceptions about Affairs
- Rebuilding trust
- How to talk to your children about the Affair
To hear this informative interview, click on the link
Divorcing with Good Karma
Tune into the Smart Divorce on Divorce Source Radio to hear this very informative interview with Judge Michele Lowrance.
Positive. Life-enhancing. Enlightening. Compassionate. These words are seldom associated with divorce. Words that typically come to mind are: Painful. Agonizing. Resentful. Bitter. Our guest, domestic relations judge and best selling author Judge Michele Lowrance enlightens listeners how people can attain a positive outlook, achieve forgiveness, and move on with a mended soul (http://thegoodkarmadivorce.com/). Judge Lowrance has learned that there’s a better way to handle divorce. So she came up with a plan to turn the negatives of divorce into positives. She explains the program in her book, The Good Karma Divorce: Avoid Litigation, Turn Negative Emotions into Positive Actions, and Get On with the Rest of Your Life.
Topics in this program include:
- On court: An understanding what the court system can and cannot do – it can’t rescue you, but perhaps it can encourage forgiveness.
- On children: Ordinary parenting is not enough; parents need to adopt wisdom building skills for heroic parenting. Justice Lowrance asks: “What is more important for you to be right, or for your children to be happy?”
- On forgiveness: In the beginning, you won’t be ready to forgive. At this stage it is fine to let your emotions steep and give them room to breathe. Treat them like a flu that has to run its course. There is a necessary gestation period between anger and forgiveness.
- Creating your soul searching party: developing your Personal Manifesto
- The crucial things you have to know about having the “divorce conversation” with your soon to be former partner.
Click on the link to hear Judge Michele Lowrance explain what a good Karma Divorce is
http://www.divorcesourceradio.com/divorcing-with-good-karma/
Announcing The Smart Divorce Radio Show
The Smart Divorce radio show on Divorce Source Radio.
Divorce touches almost everyone in society. If you haven’t personally experienced divorce, chances are you know someone how has. The impact on the individual, the family, and society are monumental. People are searching for answers and information to get through the divorce process with their sanity and dignity intact; they want to move forward with focus hope and confidence.
Brimming with expert advice and the personal experience and expertise of the hosts, Deborah Moskovitch and Steve Peck, listeners are entertained and educated with an enlightening, provocative and informative show. This is a unique and valuable show. There isn’t anything like this anywhere else.
From the trenches to the Benches — interviews with the leading divorce professionals across North America will be shared so that listeners will learn how to manage the divorce process in a healthier, less painful way and move on to create a better life postdivorce. We’ll also be speaking with individuals who have weathered divorce, and are sharing their experience by helping others as well.
Divorce Source Radio produces FREE programs featuring both legal and emotional advice from respected professionals. Tune in every week, to listen to our free programs on The Smart Divorce on Divorce Source Radio at http://www.divorcesourceradio.com/
How your parents’ divorce might be setting the stage for your own
Midlife divorce: Blame it on your parents?
Can your parents divorce be the cause of your own divorce?
Shannon*, a 48 year old client of mine, recently explained her “aha” moment when discussing the issues behind her impending divorce. She married her husband because he “completed” her – masking low self-esteem and feelings of not being worthy of love.
It wasn’t until after therapy and introspection that she realized she had fallen into a relationship trap: Trying to fill a void of lost love left by her parents’ divorce, and the loss of a relationship with her mother, when she was just 5.
While the lack of a relationship with a parent can have a significant impact on romantic relationships for a child later in life, there is a debate amongst researchers on this topic. Some say, these individuals are affected for life. Others feel that with work, an individual can learn to come to terms with it, heal and develop rich and successful romantic partnerships.
To read the rest of the article, and learn some helpful and strategies for healing and acceptance, click on the link
http://www.more.ca/relationships/midlife-divorce-blame-it-on-your-parents/a/33856
An interview with Justice Harvey Brownstone
I was recently interviewed by the best selling author and sitting court judge, Justice Harvey Brownstone, on his show Family Matters.
People often ask me how I was able to move one despite the conflict I experienced throughout the divorce process. I share tips and strategies about how to have The Smart Divorce, the trying times I experienced in the litigation process and much more.
Tune into Family Matters to listen to the full interview.
Out of the closet: support for the straight spouse
Just because your spouse came out of the closet,
doesn’t mean you have to go in.
I have had several individuals in my divorce consulting practice tell me that their spouse declared they were gay. They felt alone – but this is not a rare event. While Canadian figures are not available, conservative estimates indicate that roughly two million lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) individuals in the United States have married someone of the opposite sex. When these partners come out of the closet, one third of these relationships break up right away, a third stay together for a year and then separate, and another third commit to making it work – although three years later, only half of this last group of relationships are still intact.
Please click on the click to read more and a reality check:
I wrote this article for More magazine’s online edition. More magazine is a publication which celebrates women over 40. Men should also feel comfortable reading this article as it offers great tips that apply to both men and women. I’ve written many articles for this site. If you would like to browse through this magazine click on the following link: www.more.ca http://www.more.ca/relationships/single-life
Getting through these issues and feelings, and effectively coping can take anywhere from 3 – 6 years to properly heal. Statistics indicate that it takes one year of healing for every five years of marriage. And, once this process takes place, for many, there is a realization that their partner really did marry them out of love, and not to hide in a closet — they fully intended to make it work. So, while these couples cannot be lovers, perhaps they can still be good friends.
Divorce myths debunked
Are children of divorce really doomed? Does communication get better?
There are many myths and misconceptions about the outcome of divorce will be postdivorce. People often have incorrect visions about how their life is going to unfold – with their former partner, their children, dating, and the all too common thought “the grass is greener on the other side.”
Please click on the link for a reality check:
http://www.more.ca/relationships/single-life/divorce-myths-debunked/a/30888/2
I wrote this article for More magazine’s online edition. More magazine is a publication which celebrates women over 40. Men should also feel comfortable reading this article as it offers great tips that apply to both men and women. If you would like to browse through this magazine click on the following link: www.more.ca
People need to process what the separation means to them on an emotional level; to consider the marriage/relationship in terms of what was good, what was not so good, and how they may have contributed; and, who they are and want to become, as individuals, separate from the relationship. It does one good to become conscious of lessons learned from the old relationship, or else risk a replay of the dynamics in subsequent relationships.
Like this:
Getting ready to move into the New Year
Reflections and Resolutions……….
As I look back at what I have accomplished in 2009 and think about what I want to do in 2010, setting tasks and objectives, to keep me focused, will help me achieve my goals.
What might you do to achieve your goals? Make a list – what do you want to do…….
§ Set realistic goals of what you would like to accomplish this year.
§ Make a top 5 list of your objectives.
§ Take your list and write out what you need to do to get there.
§ January 1 – start doing one of those things to help you achieve your objectives.
Think about what you want out of life and start doing the thingsyou need to, to get you there.
Wishing you much luck and happiness for a smart, wonderful and fulfilling 2010
Where Divorce Ends, Your Destiny Begins Telesummit
YOU CAN HAVE WHAT YOU WANT!
YOU CAN LEAD A LIFE FULL OF JOY AND HAPPINESS!
“Where Divorce Ends, Your Destiny Begins Telesummit” which will be taking place Monday and Wednesday Evenings, 9:00 – 10:00 pm EST beginning on October 12, 2009.
The Telesummit I will be featuring 8 teleseminars with 8 leading experts in the field of moving forward during, through and after divorce.
I am the first featured guest on this telesummit. Tune in tonight and learn what to expect about the emotional and legal aspects of divorce, so that you are better prepared to move forward with focus and confidence, while saving time and money.
Click on the link http://www.lauracampbellcompanies.com/where-divorce-ends-your-destin/ to reserve your free spot.
Reclaim your space after divorce
So your ex has moved out – now what? A guide to moving your home from “we” to “me”
Ever wonder how you can change your space from “we” to “me”. It’s important to create your own space and develop new memories post divorce.
Please click on the click to read more about tips and strategies as to how to create your post divorce home. http://www.more.ca/relationships/single-life/reclaim-your-space-after-divorce/a/22636
I wrote this article for More magazine’s online edition. More magazine is a publication which celebrates women over 40. Men should also feel comfortable reading this article as it offers great insight into moving on post divorce; tips that apply to both men and women. If you would like to browse through this magazine click on the following link: www.more.ca
Ah, my space, and loving it. Relaxing in the surroundings I call home. I’m doing it in style, my way – and it’s certainly far from perfect. But, that isn’t to say I can’t change my space from “me” to “we” again, but for now, this is what makes me happy.
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