Posts filed under ‘happy divorcee’
Why Families Matter
Trailblazer” isn’t a term often associated with divorce professionals. With the divorce rate hovering around 50 per cent, and over a million children annually experiencing their parent’s divorce, it is critical that couples understand the impact of divorce on families, children, the individual and society.
What I find most astounding is that the divorce rate rises with subsequent marriages ( http://www.more.ca/relationships/single-life/divorce-myths-debunked/a/30888) – this only demonstrates that people are not learning from their mistakes, and/or not taking the time to understand their own needs and expectations. This only serves to demonstrate that significant learning and education need to be provided. It’s easy to see why divorce has spawned a lucrative industry.
Without trying to sound too self-important, I am proud to have been referred to as a trailblazer because I transformed my pain into a career that helps so many others. I am passionate about educating the public about divorce — the process, and the significant impact upon an individual and the family. Getting through my divorce was not easy; it was full of emotion, and needless to say significant legal bills. I learned many lessons along the way of my long protracted divorce journey, which is how I came to write The Smart Divorce: Proven Strategies and Valuable Advice from 100 Top Divorce Lawyers, Financial Advisers, Counselors, and Other Experts (Chicago Review Press, 2007). I wrote the book so that I could share my pain and others could heal from the lessons. I personally interviewed over 100 of North America’s foremost divorce professionals, so that others could be empowered with knowledge, and avoid my mistakes — while saving time, money and their sanity.
My role model for becoming a trailblazer in the divorce arena is Justice Harvey Brownstone. Justice Brownstone, Canada’s first openly gay judge, is single-handedly transforming the public image of the judiciary and enhancing access to justice. The public is desperately hungry for reliable, accessible information they can turn to about a myriad of issues impacting on relationships, parenting and the well-being of kids. With so many ways of looking at the family, and the many configurations, Justice Brownstone will also explore a number of issues related to same-sex relationships including marriage, adoption, parenting, surrogacy, and so on.
There aren’t any judges in Canada, and only a handful in the United States, that actually go out on a limb to share their wisdom and expertise without judging. It isn’t often that I write about other individuals, but I felt that furthering the cause to promote a new television show called Family Matters was in order. This is a talk show created to educate and enlighten parents and families about issues that are of importance to the modern North American family. Justice Brownstone wants parents to get the best possible information, directly from a judge, about the realities of family court and the alternatives available to litigation, so that parents could make informed decisions about how to resolve parenting disputes in a way that meets the best interests of their children. The show will deal with everything from open marriages to sexual addictions to online security and privacy to relationship formation, sustenance and dissolution.
Divorce is far more than obtaining a separation agreement; it’s managing emotions and finances, as diverse as a business transaction and the children’s best interest. This journey is creating a new normal for divorcees who question what normal is, and don’ t want to be identified with labels. Separation and divorce are filled with many nuances, hidden agendas, and fears. It’s time people really stepped up to the plate and learned what’s involved before they make the decision to separate, rather than learn while they divorce. Perhaps we can all learn a lesson or two about why Family Matters — and maybe the negative impact of divorce on children, the family and society can be lessened. You can start by tuning into Family Matters with Justice Harvey Brownstone.
To learn more about this groundbreaking show, check out the website at www.familymatterstv.com.
Tune in October 4, 10:30pm on CHCH and watch my interview with Justice Brownstone
Six divorce advice tips
Going through a divorce can be tough in many ways. Here is some thoughtful advice to help get you through this chapter, and on to a brighter tomorrow.
Divorce advice
A divorce can take its toll on everyone involved. As you process the reality of what you and your family are actually going through, you might be left feeling mentally and emotionally drained, and quite alone in your experiences. But the truth is, you’re not, and you will get through it. Here are 6 great articles and tips with solid divorce advice to help you get through this difficult time
1. Surviving divorce at midlife
You’re going through a divorce and your life is about to change quite dramatically. One woman discusses how a surprise divorce gave her a new path in life.
2. Reclaim your space after divorce
So your ex has moved out – now what? One of the best ways to get through a divorce is to reclaim your own space. Check out our guide to moving your home from “we” to “me”.
3. 5 steps to post-divorce happiness
Your marriage may be over, but that doesn’t mean your life is. Expert tips on how to survive life post-divorce, and how to find your happiness again.
4. After divorce: Happier, stronger you
Identifying herself as a formerly married person didn’t work. But as a fabulous single woman…
5. Home alone: The post-divorce social scene
It may not be easy, but it is possible. This artlcle explores ways in which you can rebuild your social life after a divorce.
6. From dam to glam: Dating after divorce
The dating game has never been an easy one. And now that you’ve been there, done that, and are back again, how do you get back in? You will also find useful tips here to ensure you are putting your children’s best interests first.
- By: Simone Castello & More.ca
This article is original content on More.ca
You might also be interested in reading Canadian divorce consultant Deborah Moskovitch’s Midlife divorce advice for women. Are children of a divorce really doomed? Check out Divorce myths debunked to find out. Also, is it possible your parents are to be blamed for your midlife divorce?
- For this article and more, click on
- http://www.more.ca/relationships/single-life/6-divorce-advice-tips/a/34568
Getting ready to move into the New Year
Reflections and Resolutions……….
As I look back at what I have accomplished in 2009 and think about what I want to do in 2010, setting tasks and objectives, to keep me focused, will help me achieve my goals.
What might you do to achieve your goals? Make a list – what do you want to do…….
§ Set realistic goals of what you would like to accomplish this year.
§ Make a top 5 list of your objectives.
§ Take your list and write out what you need to do to get there.
§ January 1 – start doing one of those things to help you achieve your objectives.
Think about what you want out of life and start doing the thingsyou need to, to get you there.
Wishing you much luck and happiness for a smart, wonderful and fulfilling 2010
What Happy Working Mothers Know
I wrote a post on this blog a while ago with Cathy Greenberg, entitled — What Happy Divorcees Know.
http://blog.thesmartdivorce.com/2008/02/27/what-happy-divorcees-know/
Dr. Greenberg shared her insight and wisdom on achieving happiness post divorce. She is a psychologist and an internationally recognized authority on leadership applying the new science of happiness. Cathy has just released a wonderful new book, co-authored with Barrett Avigdor, an international Lawyer, executive coach and Fulbright Scholar. Their book is a must read for anyone, especially the working mom who is looking to achieve happiness; and balance the hectic life of work, and family.
I am proud to be among several dynamic, prominent and distinguished women, as a featured contributor. Click on the sidebar Happy Working Mothers.
http://www.h2cleadership.com/mom/about_book.php
Science and sociology have made great strides in understanding what makes us happy and how we achieve it. For working mothers who face endless demands on their time and attention, What Happy Working Mothers Know provides scientifically proven and practical ways to find the right balance and replace stress with happiness. Written by a behavioral scientist and global leadership guru, and an international lawyer and career coach, this mom-friendly guide offers practical tactics that truly work.
The demands of juggling work and home lead many women to try to do everything and be everything to everyone. In the effort to be Superwoman, many women lose sight of what makes them happy and they fail to realize how important their happiness is to being a good worker and a good mother. The key to being your best at everything you do is to take care of your happiness the way you take care of your health, through conscious choices every day. You’ll learn to overcome obstacles, apply lessons learned at work to your motherhood skills, and learn lessons from your children that you can apply at work.
• Includes interactive activities that illustrate important lessons in the book
• Shows you how to use positive psychology to shift from a scarcity mentality to an abundance mentality for workplace success
• Helps you tap into your own sense of joy every day for your own happiness and the happiness of those around you
• Science-based and packed with real case studies of real working moms
• Written by authors with impeccable qualifications and real-world experience
• Based on the successful books coauthored by Greenberg: What Happy Companies Know and What Happy Women Know
Many moms raise great kids and achieve the professional success they desire and deserve, but if they aren’t happy, what’s the point? This book doesn’t show you how to have it all, but how to have all the things that really matter.
Reclaim your space after divorce
So your ex has moved out – now what? A guide to moving your home from “we” to “me”
Ever wonder how you can change your space from “we” to “me”. It’s important to create your own space and develop new memories post divorce.
Please click on the click to read more about tips and strategies as to how to create your post divorce home. http://www.more.ca/relationships/single-life/reclaim-your-space-after-divorce/a/22636
I wrote this article for More magazine’s online edition. More magazine is a publication which celebrates women over 40. Men should also feel comfortable reading this article as it offers great insight into moving on post divorce; tips that apply to both men and women. If you would like to browse through this magazine click on the following link: www.more.ca
Ah, my space, and loving it. Relaxing in the surroundings I call home. I’m doing it in style, my way – and it’s certainly far from perfect. But, that isn’t to say I can’t change my space from “me” to “we” again, but for now, this is what makes me happy.
After divorce: Happier, stronger you
Too often, people identify themselves with who they were when they were married, rather than who they’ve become (or would like to become) postdivorce.
Now is the time to evaluate what you would like your life to like, and to develop strategies to get there. If you were the primary caregiver and stayed at home with your children during your marriage, perhaps you need to go to work but haven’t been in the workforce for a number of years. You could consider going to a vocational coach to help you make the transition. Perhaps you can afford to continue not working, but will this still be fulfilling? You can volunteer or pursue other interests. After all, your children may no longer be with you every day or weekend. The challenge is to rebuild your life to achieve a new kind of happiness. You just have to want to change and believe that it can be accomplished.
Visualize your life being different, and live your life as you envision it. Don’t wait to do the things that you promise yourself you will do when you feel better. Start doing those things now, and happiness will follow. If you wait until you are happier to do those things, you will be waiting a long time.
Please click on the click to read more about tips and strategies as to how to develop your postdivorce identity.
http://www.more.ca/relationships/single-life/after-divorce-happier-stronger-you/a/21185
I wrote this article for More magazine’s online edition. More magazine is a publication which celebrates women over 40. Men should also feel comfortable reading this article as it offers great insight into moving on postdivorce; tips that apply to both men and women.
I don’t want to sugarcoat things. There are times when life postdivorce is difficult, sad, and lonely. You might still be experiencing a sense of loss, a setback in terms of self-esteem, or shame at no longer being part of a couple. But there are many single people living very rewarding lives. Again, try to reframe the situation and reflect on the life you actually had when you were married. I have heard people say that although they may have been blindsided by their divorce, when they really think about their marriage they realize that they were not fulfilled. If you are having difficulty postdivorce, this is when you really need to work hard to regain a positive outlook and work toward self-acceptance. Talking to a therapist, having a strong support network, or just asking yourself many questions about your life’s goals can lead you to an evaluation of where you are headed and how to get there.
Home alone: the post-divorce social scene
All too often I hear people talk about having nothing to do on the weekend. While it can seem lonely at times, there are things you can do to help make new friends, or find ways to enjoy the weekend.
Please click the link to read more about tips and strategies as to how to accomplish a post-divorce social life.
http://www.more.ca/relationships/single-life/home-alone-the-post-divorce-social-scene/a/20793
I wrote this article for More magazine’s online edition. More magazine is a publication which celebrates women over 40. Men should also feel comfortable reading this article as it offers great insight into moving on postdivorce; tips that apply to both men and women. If you would like to browse through this magazine click on the following link: www.more.ca
It doesn’t have to be lonely, get out there and enjoy yourself.
Have a fabulous weekend and a great week!
Divorce’s collateral damage
Sometimes you don’t just lose your ex, you lose your
extended family and friends as well.
There are many “emotional” adjustments you have to make to build a positive life postdivorce. One of those is getting used to the fact that many friends and extended family you had while married, are no longer there for you once divorced.
Evaluating what you need to do, to let go of some of these once important relationships, requires coping strategies which will lead you towards achieving a smart divorce. Please click on the link to read more about tips and ideas as to how to navigate this new phase in your life postdivorce.
http://www.more.ca/relationships/single-life/divorce-s-collateral-damage/a/19942
I wrote this article for More magazine’s online edition. More magazine is a publication which celebrates women over 40. Men should also feel comfortable reading this article as it offers great insight into moving on and how to prepare yourself for new relationships postdivorce; tips that apply to both men and women. If you would like to browse through this magazine click on the following link: www.more.ca
When your ex has somone new
When you ex has someone new
Feeling at peace with singledom when your
ex has a new partner
The emotional tide experienced through divorce doesn’t always end when your divorce becomes final. Just as you are moving forward, feeling positive, you’re faced with a new reality……..your ex has a new partner. Although you may or may not have a new relationships too, sometimes new emotions or old wounds surface.
Evaluating what you need to do to achieve happiness and hope in a new relationship requires thought, evaluation and introspection. Please click on the link to read more about tips and strategies as to how to navigate this new phase in your life postdivorce.
http://more.ca/relationships/single-life/when-your-ex-has-someone-new/a/18818
I wrote this article for More magazine’s online edition. More magazine is a publication which celebrates women over 40. Men should also feel comfortable reading this article as it offers great insight into moving on and how to prepare yourself for new relationships postdivorce; tips that apply to both men and women. If you would like to browse through this magazine click on the following link: www.more.ca
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