Posts filed under 'financial considerations'
How do you get a smart divorce?
Learn more about being smart about divorce with Deborah
Hear Deborah talk about The Smart Divorce
I was interviewed about The Smart Divorce and dealing with the many issues surrounding divorce with host Christine Williams of On The Line
Click on the link to watch the interview which aired on April 19, 2010.
You’ll hear a lot of information about getting through divorce, some personal stories, and guidance about the divorce process.
http://ctstv.com/ontario/player.php?ctsvidID=17595&show=On%20The%20Line
ON THE LINE with Christine Williams has been recipient of six prestigious international awards. The program features current affairs issues and in-depth discussions about a range of topics with authors, experts and advocates.
Add comment April 20, 2010
The Smart Split
The Smart Split
Successful divorce doesn’t have to be an oxymoron
I will be in Calgary this week, speaking with a panel of experts about divorce. The seminar is entitled Taking Charge of your Separation/Divorce. Lisa Kadane of the Calgary Herald interviewed the panel, which I’ve copied below. Please note the helpful tips.
By Lisa Kadane, Calgary Herald February 22, 2010
Taking Charge of Your Separation/Divorce takes place Thursday at Deer Park United Church (777 Deer Point Rd. S.E.) from 7 to 9:30 p.m. Pre-register for the $30 seminar at 403-205-5244. Or pay $40 at the door.
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Divorce is everywhere. It screams at us from tabloid headlines at the grocery store checkout. It touches us personally when, as adults, our parents finally call it quits, or our own starter marriage fizzles.
It’s also universally ugly. Between custody battles, money squabbles and bitterness, divorce usually leaves one party on the short end of the fair stick.
And divorce is always heartbreaking — the final chapter in a book we never wanted to read in the first place.
So, to talk about having a “successful divorce” sounds unrealistic: a pie-in-the-sky idea plucked from some smarmy self-help book.
It’s not, says Deborah Moskovitch, who weathered a seven-year divorce and went on to write The Smart Divorce: A Team Approach to Managing the Issues of Divorce.
“Being smart about divorce really means moving forward with hope and confidence.”
Moskovitch will be in town Thursday as part of a seminar to help divorcing couples understand the resources available to help them through separation and divorce. Hiring a good attorney is a no-brainer, but head’s up: getting your legal house in order is only part of it.
“You’ve got to rebuild your life,” she says.
“Divorce is so common today that people underestimate how powerful it is; how powerful those emotions are.”
Estimates from Statistics Canada in 2008 suggest that 39 per cent of marriages in Canada will end by the couple’s 30th wedding anniversary.
The percentage is higher in the United States — at 44 per cent — but still short of the “half of all marriages end in divorce” stat that gets bandied about.
Still, it means more than one-third of married Canadian couples will eventually go their separate ways. Since that’s reality, those starting down the rocky road to divorce should become informed about this life-altering event before emotions take over.
The Herald spoke with three divorce experts who will be speaking at the seminar, to gather tips for a successful divorce.
lkadane@theherald.canwest.com
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Smart Tips
- Sandy Shuler is a Calgary based family and life educator whose workshop Effective Coparenting teaches separating parents to put the kids first and understand their needs during separation and divorce.
“Often what happens is, in the process, (parents) are remiss in understanding what the experience is like for kids.”
Four tips:
1. Parents need to love their children more than they dislike their parenting partner. Put aside differences for the kids’ sake.
2. Shield children as best you can from parental conflict. No fighting or name-calling in front of the kids.
3. Give children permission to love and connect with both parents and extended family (unless there is abuse happening).
4. Understand that children will experience loss and grief, too, and that their feelings will be different from your own.
- Sharon Numerow is a certified divorce financial analyst (CDFA) based in Calgary. She worries that people in the midst of divorce make emotional decisions instead of educated ones, and she counsels men and women about splitting up property in their best interests.
“Educate yourself and be prepared. People spend more time researching a car,” says Numerow.
“A 50-50 property split is not always equal, so understand the decisions you’re going to make.”
Four tips:
1. Seek out professional, expert support in every area. Finding a therapist or tax consultant is just as important as hiring a good divorce attorney.
2. Money is always an issue, even when both parties claim it isn’t.
3. When it comes to splitting up investments, understand the scope of them — the risks, outlook, tax implications, costs or fees involved — and make an informed decision.
“It’s a lot of work,” Numerow admits. “I would say it’s really overwhelming for people.”
4. Women need to get on the ball with their financial situation.
“In my experience, way more women have a lack of understanding of, not just finances in divorce, but finances in general.”
- Toronto-based Deborah Moskovitch talked to more than 100 divorce experts when researching her book The Smart Divorce. She recommends people put together a team of professionals to help them navigate the split.
“I noticed so many people were bitter and angry after divorce,” says Moskovitch.
“I realized people are really unprepared for the divorce process.”
Four tips:
1. Realize that many of your divorce beefs are outside of the legal arena. For example, the law does not care if you don’t like your soon-to-beex’s parenting style. So don’t waste your lawyer’s time (and your money) by ranting about it.
2. A good divorce lawyer is gold, but he or she can’t give you parenting or financial advice.
“Bringing in the right people can save you money,” says Moskovitch. A parenting education class and even a therapist cost less per hour than a lawyer.
3. Try to keep your emotions outside of the process. When emotions take over, you end up with massive legal bills.
4. Work on rebuilding your post-divorce outlook. You will get through divorce and get on with your life.
© Copyright (c) The Calgary Herald
To read this article in the Calgary Herald click on the link:
3 comments February 22, 2010
Taking Charge of Your Separation/Divorce
Taking Charge of Your
Separation/Divorce
impact – options – opportunities
Space is still available in a very unique seminar on separation /divorce. This is a “one stop” information panel of experts for individual, families and experts; featuring presenters:
Deborah Moskovitch, Author, Speaker, Divorce Consultant:
“The Smart Divorce”
“A Team Approach To Managing The Issues of Divorce”
Wendy Best, Q.C.: Senior Partner, Dunphy, Best, Blocksom, LLP
“Consideration Of The Legal Issues”
Sharon Numerow, CDFA™, Tax Consultant: Alberta Divorce Finances Ltd.
“Why a 50/50 Property Split is not Always Equal – 7 secrets to a successful divorce”
Sandy Shuler, Social Worker, Certified Family Educator: Family Life Works Inc.
“Effective Co-Parenting: Putting Kids First”
EDUCATION▪▪STRATEGIES▪▪RESOURCES▪▪BOOK DISPLAY
SPONSORED BY: Calgary Family Services & Deer Park United Church
SUPPORTED BY: Dunphy, Best, Blocksom LLP
This seminar is appropriate for individuals contemplating or already experiencing a divorce. You will learn strategies for a smart divorce, understanding your legal options, financial considerations, and putting your children’s best interest first. Participants will learn what to expect legally and emotionally, and so be able to move through the process with confidence and focus while saving time and money.
Click on the link below for more information
Calgary – TakingChargeofYourSeparationDivorce2
Program details:
When: February 25, 2010
Location: Deer Park United Church – 777 Deer Point Rd. SE, Calgary Alberta
Time: 7 – 9:30 P.M.
To register, or for more information contact: Calgary Family Services at 403 204 5244
1 comment January 25, 2010
The Smart Divorce Workshop Series – Space Still Available
The Smart Divorce® Workshop Series
These workshops are appropriate for individuals contemplating or already experiencing a divorce. Strategies for reducing financial costs and personal turmoil will be presented. Participants will learn what to expect legally and emotionally, and so be able to move through the process with confidence and focus while saving time and money. A subsequent session will address parenting issues, how to work with parenting experts more effectively, and available resources. Feedback from therapists and lawyers has indicated that The Smart Divorce Workshops have helped to prepare individuals for the process and make them better clients.
I have added two new workshops to the series called – Taking Control of Your Finances – with guest speakers Atsuko Hiroaka and Aaron Nimon, both Investment Advisors of BMO Nesbit Burns. The focus of these sessions is to help manage and effectively deal with your financial concerns; how to overcome your fears and understand the financial considerations as you work through the divorce process and postdivorce concerns.
Click on the link for more information: the-smart-divorce-workshop-f09-2-finr1
Program details:
The Smart Divorce: Learning the Basics – February 4, 2009
The Smart Divorce: Taking Control of Your Finances – February 11, 2009
with Guest Speaker, Investment Advisor – Aaron Nimon of BMO Nesbit Burns
The Smart Divorce: Parenting Through Divorce – February 18, 2009 2008
The Smart Divorce: Taking Control of Your Finances – February 25, 2009
with Guest Speaker, Investment Advisor – Atsuko Hiroaka of BMO Nesbit Burns
“Your seminar game the confidence I needed to start my divorce. I know what to do now and feel I’m not alone.” Dave C. Toronto
“I met a client who took your seminar today. An educated client makes this work so much easier!” Jacqueline Vanbetlehem, Mediator and Family Therapist in Oakville
Location: 12 Lawton Boulevard, Toronto (Yonge and St. Clair)
Registration Fee: $25 per workshop
Call The Smart Divorce at 905 695 0270 or email info@thesmartdivorce.com
SPACES ARE LIMITED, CALL TODAY
2 comments January 30, 2009
Strategies for keeping your legal costs down
I know from the many people I speak with, that the monthly statement from their lawyer’s office seems to be the last piece of mail to get opened. It’s not like you are running to your mail to see if it is there. And, the questions you ask yourself as you open the statement can make you anxious. Are there enough funds in the retainer to cover this bill? Do I need to submit additional money? Why can’t I keep the bills down? Why does the bill add up to so much so quickly? Why? Why? Why?
Instead of asking yourself why, utilize the how to strategies to keep your legal costs down, while maintaining control over what is going on in your file.
Here are some cost saving tips to help you cut down on your legal bill:
Maximize your meeting time
- Schedule your meetings through your lawyer’s assistant.
- Make a list of questions you would like to discuss, organized by topic or issue.
- Have an agenda ready, with all items and issues to be discussed.
- Take notes.
- Do any follow-up work the lawyer gives you (reviewing documents, contacting a specific specialist, and so forth), and make sure it is done in a timely manner.
Make all communications cost effective
- Save up your questions. Don’t call or e-mail your lawyer every single time you have an inquiry.
- Check with your lawyer first and find out how he or she likes to handle communications–via e-mail, phone calls, or meetings with prepared agendas. Also ask for recommendations on making your communications more efficient.
Provide as much written information as possible
- Many lawyers have their clients write out an account of their marital history. Ask your lawyer if this is what should be done.
Use your lawyer’s services cost effectively
- Listen to your lawyer and take notes.
- Remember, if you want to vent and complain about your soon-to-be ex-spouse, the meter is still running.
- If you are able to, do certain tasks, such as filling out the financial statement, yourself.
- Don’t micromanage (pay extreme attention to the small details of) your case. This only causes your legal bills to escalate and slows down the process.
And, if there is something that doesn’t make
sense to you, ask your lawyer.
Add comment August 11, 2008
The Finances of Divorce
The Finances of Divorce
A client came into my office the other day, in tears. She was just about to sign papers to purchase her new home, but was now feeling unsure of her decision. My client was in the middle of negotiating her financial agreement and wanted to prepare herself for the fresh start she desired when her divorce became final.
There is no crystal ball as to how this will end……
While you might have an idea of where you would like to see yourself financially post-divorce, this objective and the final outcome might not necessarily the same.
Mistakes to avoid
- Don’t make any significant investments before your settlement is signed.
- Don’t make any significant purchases while negotiating your settlement – you might end up being responsible for that purchase, such as jewelry, vacation, clothing and so on.
- Don’t make purchases based on projections; you never know how it will turn out.
Establish your own financial identity
If you have been the financially uninformed spouse, and you do not have a credit rating, now is the time to start building one.
If you are in the matrimonial home and your spouse has left, you might want to consider changing the household bills to your name. Make sure you pay these off on time and in full. This is a good way to start establishing a good credit rating.
If you had a joint credit card with your former spouse, the principal card holder has the credit rating. Apply for your own credit card. If you are a first time card holder, you can always start out with a small credit limit and gradually increase it as you pay off on time and prove to be a good credit risk.
Get your finances in order
All lawyers agree on how important it is for their clients to be as financially aware as possible. It’s the best way to learn your rights and obligations and determine realistic expectations early in the divorce process. Your lawyer can then give you informed opinions based on fact, not on speculation. And the more you can manage and organize your information for your lawyer, and establish realistic financial goals, the more you can help reduce your lawyer’s billable hours!
· Get involved in your finances. Know the basics – pay the bills and file the statements. Learn how your daily and monthly expenses are managed.
· Determine where the money is coming from and how it is applied toward your budget.
· Take part in setting up investments such as retirement funds, and understand where and what the other assets are.
Many lawyers suggest that if someone is contemplating a divorce or separating, one of the first things they should do is accumulate the financial information.
1 comment February 20, 2008
