Posts filed under 'finances'

How do you get a smart divorce?

Learn more about being smart about divorce with Deborah

Hear Deborah talk about The Smart Divorce

I was interviewed about The Smart Divorce and dealing with the many issues surrounding divorce with host Christine Williams of On The Line

Click on the link to watch the interview which aired on April 19, 2010.

You’ll hear a lot of information about getting through divorce, some personal stories, and guidance about the divorce process.

http://ctstv.com/ontario/player.php?ctsvidID=17595&show=On%20The%20Line

ON THE LINE with Christine Williams has been recipient of six prestigious international awards.  The program features current affairs issues and in-depth discussions about a range of topics with authors, experts and advocates.

Add comment April 20, 2010

Taking Charge of Your Separation and Divorce

Taking Charge of Your Separation and Divorce

impact – options – opportunities

I was part of a “one stop” information panel of experts discussing the emotional, legal, financial, and child aspects of divorce.  I thought the handouts provided would be very helpful…….the information if provided both within this post, as well as attached within a pdf.

Being smart about divorce means arming yourself with as much information as possible…..here’s a start.

THE SMART DIVORCE®

Handout- The Smart Divorce

What is A Smart Divorce?

The Smart Divorce process will help you to:

  • understand the “emotional divorce” versus the “legal divorce”
  • understand the various dispute resolutions available
  • make informed decisions
  • minimize the financial, legal and emotional stress

Be SMART about your divorce.

State your goals and objectives at the beginning. Make sure these are realistic.

Maximize your information and knowledge base.

Avoid reacting to your emotions.

Retain the best possible divorce team your budget allows.

Treat your divorce as a business transaction.

How to start The Smart Divorce

  1. Develop your support network – therapist/supportive counselor, support groups, clergy, divorce consultant and friends.
  2. Choose your lawyer carefully – interview 3 family law lawyers.
  3. Be informed.  Understand the dispute resolutions:   Do-It-Yourself; Negotiation; Mediation; Collaborative Family Law; Arbitration; Litigation; private companies who offer divorce mediation/resolution.
  4. Put your children’s best interests first.
  5. Hire the right team of professionals based on your needs – parenting expert; financial adviser and others.
  6. Get your finances in order.
  7. Stay organized – create your divorce notebook and divorce journal.
  8. Have a vision for how you want your life to unfold and develop strategies to get there.

You may contact Deborah by email at info@thesmartdivorce.com

or, by calling her office at 905.695.0270

Deborah Moskovitch is a divorce consultant and educator, and author of The Smart Divorce: Proven Strategies and Valuable Advice from 100 Top Divorce Lawyers, Financial Advisers, Counselors and Other Experts. Deborah has become an opinion leader in the media and has shared her insights and research on television and radio to explain that divorce can be managed in smarter ways.

Copyright ©2010 The Smart Divorce® and Deborah Moskovitch

All rights reserved. No portion of this material may be reproduced in any form without the express written permission of Deborah Moskovitch and The Smart Divorce.

Legal considerations

“Taking Charge of Your Separation/Divorce”

Handout – Legal considerations

Presentation by:

Wendy E. Best, Q.C.

Dunphy Best Blocksom LLP

February 25, 2010

1. Custody/parenting

(i)                 shared

(ii)               joint

(iii)             sole

2. Child Support

(i)                 Federal Child Support Guidelines

(ii)               Alberta Child Support Guidelines

(iii)             base table support

(iv)             Section 7 expenses

(a)                child care expenses incurred for employment, illness or education

(b)               medical/dental insurance premiums re: child

(c)                health/dental expenses over insurance by at least $100/year (ortho, counselling, physio, drugs, glasses)

(d)               extraordinary expenses for primary or secondary school

(e)                post secondary expenses

(f)                extraordinary extracurricular expenses

(v)               split custody

(vi)             shared custody (40% of time)

(vii)           incomes over $150,000

(viii)         undue hardship

(ix)             retroactive

(x)               disclosure

3.        Spousal Support

(xi)             Divorce Act

(xii)           Family Law Act/Adult Interdependent Relationships Act

(xiii)         Spousal Support Advisory Guidelines

(xiv)         entitlement

(xv)           periodic

(xvi)         lump sum

(xvii)       combination

4.     Property

(i)                 What is property

(ii)               unmarried: constructive trust/unjust enrichment

(iii)             married: Matrimonial Property Act

(a)                exemptions

(i)                 gifts from third parties

(ii)               inheritance

(iii)             owned before marriage

(iv)             damages in tort

(v)               insurance policy (not re: property)

(b)               increase in value of exempt property – 13 factors

(c)                transfer into joint names

(d)               all other property acquired – presumption of equal sharing

(e)                property (assets/debts) acquired after separation or changes in value

(f)                gifts or non bona fide transfers

(g)               exclusive possession of matrimonial home

5.         Miscellaneous/Common Misunderstandings

(i)                 divorce

(ii)               legal separation

(iii)             abandonment

(iv)             conduct

(v)               what to expect/ask in your first consult

Financial Considerations

7  Secrets to a Successful Divorce

Handout- 7 Secrets to a Successful Divorce

Divorce demands financial decision-making that will alter the rest of your life. Most people have no knowledge of the specifics of the finances of divorce. Most people are too emotional to make sound financial decisions regarding their future. Quite often poor choices are made, choices that are permanent. You must educate yourself on the finances of your divorce.

We have a deep and personal understanding of the financial implications of divorce. At Alberta Divorce Finances, we empower men and women going through divorce by educating them on the financial and tax implications of the decisions that they will make in their own divorce.

A 50/50 Property Split is Not Always Equal

What do you need to know to ensure that your settlement is both fair and equitable?

  1. 1. Money will almost always become an issue in divorce

  1. 2. Understand that a 50/50 division of property is not always equal

  1. 3. Make sure that you can afford to keep the house before you settle this matter

  1. 4. Understand the “true” value of your investments and RRSPs

  1. 5. Ensure that Pensions are valued properly.

  1. 6. Ensure that the payor of child and/or spousal support has Life Insurance to fulfill future support obligations.

  1. Many divorce decisions have implications for your tax return

Divorce is a very difficult and very emotional time and bad decisions are made under stress.  You must become educated on “what you need to know” about the finances of your divorce.

Visit: Alberta Divorce Finances.com

Child Considerations

HELPING KIDS THROUGH SEPARATION/DIVORCE:

Handout – HELPING KIDS THROUGH SEPARATION

v            The way in which parents manage their separation/divorce impacts their children; each individual can

make a difference by their OWN choice of behaviors

v            In separation/divorce, co-parents need to shift their former intimate relationship to that of neutral

business associates linked for the long-term in the “business of co-parenting”

v            Children’s needs and feelings should be a priority; they require reassurance that they are loved by

both parents and belong to both parents and extended families

v            Giving kids permission and opportunities to be attached and to maintain relationships with both

parents/families is important to their well being and growth/development

(*some exceptions: family violence, substance abuse, profound mental health issues)

v            Conflict is typically a part of separation/divorce; how it is managed has an impact on outcomes for

children; kids need to be kept out of “adult issues” including parent conflict and encouraged to regain

and resume their own life pursuits to meet their developmental ages/stages

v            Most often children view separation/divorce differently than the adults involved as they do not always

see it as a way of improving their life; parents can be sensitive to this difference in perspective

v            Children need understanding and guidance to manage and communicate their unique feelings and

behaviors through the process of separation/divorce

v            Shame, blame and embarrassment are feelings that children may express; they need reassurance and age

appropriate explanations that separation/divorce is not their fault

v            Attention to the variety of loss/grief reactions of both adults and kids is important through

separation/divorce; Examples: sadness, anxiety, fear, anger and feeling physically unwell

v            Parents may be less available for their children particularly in the first year of separation/divorce

(“diminished parenting”); this may negatively impact kids outcomes as they need their parents most at

this time of change and transitions

v            When possible, minimizing and “pacing” the multiple changes in their lives as a result of the

separation/divorce is helpful for kids; strive for predictability and routines

v            Transitioning between two households can be difficult for some children; each parent can help their

children to manage this challenge with sensitivity, organization and support

v            A Parenting Plan is an essential working document that helps provide a framework for adults and

children to manage the separation/divorce; a detailed plan that is reviewed regularly helps address the

family’s changing needs

v            An individual’s influence and/or control with their co-parent is typically limited; their focus and energy

is better placed on developing a consistent life with their children in their own home

(Sandy Shuler, B.S.W., R.S.W., C.C.F.E. 2010. Reproduction only by permission. Sandy is the Co-author of the established “Effective Co-Parenting:  Putting Kids First” program;  Co-author of “Groupworks: training for small group facilitators” Developer of the “Fairway Divorce Solutions Nurtured Children Parent Education Seminar”;

Sandy is Director/Consultant of Family Life Works Inc.; www.familylifeworks.ca; 403-540-5608)

Add comment April 13, 2010

Taking Charge of Your Separation/Divorce

Taking Charge of Your

Separation/Divorce

impact – options – opportunities

Space is still available in a very unique seminar on separation /divorce.  This is a “one stop” information panel of experts for individual, families and experts; featuring presenters:

Deborah Moskovitch, Author, Speaker, Divorce Consultant:

“The Smart Divorce”

“A Team Approach To Managing The Issues of Divorce”

Wendy Best, Q.C.: Senior Partner, Dunphy, Best, Blocksom, LLP

“Consideration Of The Legal Issues”

Sharon Numerow, CDFA™, Tax Consultant: Alberta Divorce Finances Ltd.

“Why a 50/50 Property Split is not Always Equal – 7 secrets to a successful divorce”

Sandy Shuler, Social Worker, Certified Family Educator: Family Life Works Inc.

Effective Co-Parenting:  Putting Kids First”

EDUCATION▪▪STRATEGIES▪▪RESOURCES▪▪BOOK DISPLAY

SPONSORED BY:  Calgary Family Services & Deer Park United Church

SUPPORTED BY:  Dunphy, Best, Blocksom LLP

This seminar is appropriate for individuals contemplating or already experiencing a divorce. You will learn strategies for a smart divorce, understanding your legal options, financial considerations, and putting your children’s best interest first.  Participants will learn what to expect legally and emotionally, and so be able to move through the process with confidence and focus while saving time and money.

Click on the link below for more information

Calgary – TakingChargeofYourSeparationDivorce2

Program details:

When: February 25, 2010

Location: Deer Park United Church – 777 Deer Point Rd. SE, Calgary Alberta

Time: 7 – 9:30 P.M.

To register, or for more information contact:  Calgary Family Services at 403 204 5244

1 comment January 25, 2010

Hear Deborah again on “Guy Talk”

Have you hear about the radio show on Newstalk 1010 CFRB, “Guy Talk”?  You can hear it live on Sunday evenings from 9 pm-10pm.

Guy Talk is a radio show that deals with psychological issues which modern men face.   The underlying premise of Guy Talk rests in the question: Why Won’t Men Grow Up? The creator/hosts of Guy Talk are Dale Curd and Stuart Knight.

I’ve been invited to speak about The Smart Divorce and how to navigate the divorce process. November 1, 2009.  Tune in and feel free to call in with your views at 416 872 1010.  Although this show is targeted towards men, women are invited to call in as well.  I would be interested in hearing your perspective as we discuss the many issues divorcees are confronted with.

2 comments October 23, 2009

The Smart Divorce Workshop Series – Space Still Available

The Smart Divorce® Workshop Series

 

These workshops are appropriate for individuals contemplating or already experiencing a divorce. Strategies for reducing financial costs and personal turmoil will be presented. Participants will learn what to expect legally and emotionally, and so be able to move through the process with confidence and focus while saving time and money. A subsequent session will address parenting issues, how to work with parenting experts more effectively, and available resources. Feedback from therapists and lawyers has indicated that The Smart Divorce Workshops have helped to prepare individuals for the process and make them better clients.

 

I have added two new workshops to the series called – Taking Control of Your Finances – with guest speakers Atsuko Hiroaka and Aaron Nimon, both Investment Advisors of BMO Nesbit Burns. The focus of these sessions is to help manage and effectively deal with your financial concerns; how to overcome your fears and understand the financial considerations as you work through the divorce process and postdivorce concerns.

 

Click on the link for more information: the-smart-divorce-workshop-f09-2-finr1

 

Program details:

 

The Smart Divorce: Learning the Basics – February 4, 2009

 

The Smart Divorce: Taking Control of Your Finances – February 11, 2009

with Guest Speaker, Investment Advisor – Aaron Nimon of BMO Nesbit Burns

 

The Smart Divorce: Parenting Through Divorce – February 18, 2009 2008

 

The Smart Divorce: Taking Control of Your Finances – February 25, 2009

with Guest Speaker, Investment Advisor – Atsuko Hiroaka of BMO Nesbit Burns

“Your seminar game the confidence I needed to start my divorce. I know what to do now and feel I’m not alone.” Dave C. Toronto

“I met a client who took your seminar today. An educated client makes this work so much easier!” Jacqueline Vanbetlehem, Mediator and Family Therapist in Oakville

Location: 12 Lawton Boulevard, Toronto (Yonge and St. Clair)

Registration Fee: $25 per workshop

Call The Smart Divorce at 905 695 0270 or email info@thesmartdivorce.com

SPACES ARE LIMITED, CALL TODAY

2 comments January 30, 2009

More workshops added……..

The Smart Divorce® Workshop Series

 These workshops are appropriate for individuals contemplating or already experiencing a divorce. Strategies for reducing financial costs and personal turmoil will be presented. Participants will learn what to expect legally and emotionally, and so be able to move through the process with confidence and focus while saving time and money. A subsequent session will address parenting issues, how to work with parenting experts more effectively, and available resources. Feedback from therapists and lawyers has indicated that The Smart Divorce Workshops have helped to prepare individuals for the process and make them better clients.

 

I have added two new workshops to the series called – Taking Control of Your Finances – with guest speakers Atsuko Hiroaka and Aaron Nimon, both Investment Advisors of BMO Nesbit Burns. The focus of these sessions is to help manage and effectively deal with your financial concerns; how to overcome your fears and understand the financial considerations as you work through the divorce process and postdivorce concerns.

 

Click on the link for more information: The Smart Divorce Workshop Series

 

Program details:

 

The Smart Divorce: Learning the Basics – February 4, 2009

 

The Smart Divorce: Taking Control of Your Finances – February 11, 2009

with Guest Speaker, Investment Advisor – Aaron Nimon of BMO Nesbit Burns

 

The Smart Divorce: Parenting Through Divorce – February 18, 2009 2008

 

The Smart Divorce: Taking Control of Your Finances – February 25, 2009

with Guest Speaker, Investment Advisor – Atsuko Hiroaka of BMO Nesbit Burns

“Your seminar game the confidence I needed to start my divorce. I know what to do now and feel I’m not alone.” Dave C. Toronto

“I met a client who took your seminar today. An educated client makes this work so much easier!” Jacqueline Vanbetlehem, Mediator and Family Therapist in Oakville

Location: 12 Lawton Boulevard, Toronto (Yonge and St. Clair)

Registration Fee: $25 per workshop

Call The Smart Divorce at 905 695 0270 or email info@thesmartdivorce.com

SPACES ARE LIMITED, CALL TODAY

1 comment December 12, 2008

Tips to keeping organized during divorce

The divorce process can be overwhelming. The need to stay focused and organized is even that much more important. Here are some ideas to help achieve those objectives……..

 

Keep a “Divorce Journal”

 

If you’re in the midst of a divorce, or even contemplating one, consider keeping a journal of events for your lawyer. Note all events that you feel are relevant to your divorce and may affect the outcome. These could be events that involve you or your children. You and your lawyer will want to refer to this journal to help you confirm relevant dates and information. You might want to include this information in affidavits, letters, etc. It helps with accuracy of information and validates facts, dates, and times.

The journal might prove especially important if you end up going to trial. Judges don’t know what really happened; they only know what the lawyers, through their clients, tell them. So a diary of everything that happens could be used as evidence if you go to court. The party that fails to keep a diary is at a significant disadvantage.

 

Create a Meetings Notebook

 

What I advise my clients which they find most helpful to staying organized, refreshing their memory, and ensuring they follow up on meetings and tasks is to create a “divorce notebook”. This book can be divided into four sections:

 

  1. Meeting agenda and questions
  2. Notes from the meeting
  3. Next steps or to do list. Include deadline dates, completion dates, and the date when the completed task or document was communicated or sent to your legal counsel.
  4. Contacts, their phone numbers, and miscellaneous information

 

When creating and maintaining your own notebook, be sure to date everything.

 

Set Up a Divorce Filing System

 

Your filing system need not be anything complicated or expensive, and simple file folders are perfect. I just happen to prefer legal size, but use whatever works best for you. One way to start is to file all of your divorce-related paperwork in chronological order within specific headings that are relevant to your case. Here are some ideas for the headings you may want to set up:

 

-correspondence with lawyer, organized by date and topic

-orders or agreements

-folder for each member of your divorce team (financial expert, parenting expert, and so forth).

-financial statements–the statements of assets and liabilities

-invoices/statements–all costs associated with your divorce

-parenting plan

-discovery or deposition transcripts.

 

If you want to get more detailed, you could arrange files more specifically –according to particular financial or child-related issues, for instance. Of course, the detail you go into also depends on the type of divorce you’re pursuing. For instance, you might not need a discovery or deposition file if you are not litigating.

 

 

2 comments October 6, 2008

Strategies for keeping your legal costs down

I know from the many people I speak with, that the monthly statement from their lawyer’s office seems to be the last piece of mail to get opened. It’s not like you are running to your mail to see if it is there. And, the questions you ask yourself as you open the statement can make you anxious. Are there enough funds in the retainer to cover this bill? Do I need to submit additional money? Why can’t I keep the bills down? Why does the bill add up to so much so quickly? Why? Why? Why?

Instead of asking yourself why, utilize the how to strategies to keep your legal costs down, while maintaining control over what is going on in your file.

 

Here are some cost saving tips to help you cut down on your legal bill:

 

Maximize your meeting time

 

- Schedule your meetings through your lawyer’s assistant.

 - Make a list of questions you would like to discuss, organized by topic or issue.

 - Have an agenda ready, with all items and issues to be discussed.

 - Take notes.

 - Do any follow-up work the lawyer gives you (reviewing documents, contacting a specific specialist, and so forth), and make sure it is done in a timely manner.

 

Make all communications cost effective

 

 - Save up your questions. Don’t call or e-mail your lawyer every single time you have an inquiry.

 - Check with your lawyer first and find out how he or she likes to handle communications–via e-mail, phone calls, or meetings with prepared agendas. Also ask for recommendations on making your communications more efficient.

 

Provide as much written information as possible

 

 - Many lawyers have their clients write out an account of their marital history. Ask your lawyer if this is what should be done.


Use your lawyer’s services cost effectively

 

 - Listen to your lawyer and take notes.

 - Remember, if you want to vent and complain about your soon-to-be ex-spouse, the meter is still running.

 - If you are able to, do certain tasks, such as filling out the financial statement, yourself.

 - Don’t micromanage (pay extreme attention to the small details of) your case. This only causes your legal bills to escalate and slows down the process.

 

And, if there is something that doesn’t make

sense to you, ask your lawyer.

Add comment August 11, 2008

Organizing your finances during divorce

Developing realistic expectations when it comes

to finances is of utmost importance

One of the many concerns that my client’s voice most often during a consultation is their lack of knowledge and organization skills when it comes to their finances.

 

Getting your finances in order with the objective of cutting down on your legal expenses should be a priority

 

Lawyers don’t always agree on every issue. But, when it comes to finances, all lawyers agree on how important it is for their clients to be as financially aware as possible. It’s the best way to learn your rights and obligations and to determine realistic financial expectations early in the divorce process. And the more you can manage and organize your information for your lawyer, the more you can help reduce your lawyer’s billable hours!

 

Here are some ideas as to learn about your finances if you were not involved with finances during your marriage:

 

  • Get more involved in your finances. Know the basics – pay the bills and file the statements. Learn how your daily and monthly expenses are managed.
  • Understand where your money is coming from and understand how to budget.
  • Take part in managing or setting up any investments, know what your outstanding mortgage is and the terms and so on.
  • Gain awareness of your outstanding assets and liabilities.

 

Many lawyers suggest that if someone is contemplating a divorce or separating, one of the first things you should do is accumulate the financial information.

Once the divorce process is under way, your lawyer will need ready access to all relevant financial documents. Start by locating and gathering together the following records pertaining to both you and your spouse:

 

 - social security numbers

 - income tax returns for the past three years

 - retirement savings plans statements for the past three years

 - bank account statements

 - insurance policies (life; automobile; house; other)

 - stock certificates

 - credit card bills

 - employment payment stubs

 - brokerage statements

 - pension statements

 - health insurance and work-related benefits

 - real estate records

 - receipts and monthly statements documenting household expenses and everyday expenses (groceries, gas, heat, water, personal grooming, transportation, gifts, clothing, laundry and cleaning supplies, entertainment, miscellaneous expenses, and so forth)

 - list of all assets and liabilities

 - date of separation (the date of separation, or “valuation date,” is the date that is used to determine the value of particular assets–the matrimonial home, bank statements, investments, and so forth)

Photocopy everything, and store your set in a separate folder from the original records. Don’t just keep the originals for your own personal use; the other side is entitled to these documents, too. If you do withhold these records from the other side, sooner or later you are going to be asked to provide them, which will cost you even more in legal fees.

 

Keeping this information organized, being well informed and involved will give you a feeling of control, reduce the stress, and help to develop realistic financial objectives.

1 comment August 5, 2008

5 steps to post divorce happiness

Achieving happiness postdivorce is possible. But, like most things in life with a positive outcome, it requires hard work. There are things that you can do as you move through the divorce process to prepare and enable you to move forward with focus, hope and confidence; upon closing your divorce file.

Please click on the link to read more about tips and strategies as to how to accomplish postdivorce happiness. 5-steps-to-post-divorce-happiness-more-magazine-12

I wrote this article for More magazine’s online edition. More magazine is a publication which celebrates women over 40. Men should also feel comfortable reading this article as it offers great insight into moving on – postdivorce; tips that apply to both men and women. If you would like to browse through this magazine click on the following link: www.more.ca

Life is like a book: some chapters are more difficult to get through than others. When I started living on my own again, I thought about how the new chapters of my own life were going to be written. I began to ask myself many questions. Can people actually be single and happy postdivorce? If they can, how do they achieve this? What is their secret? Is it like one of those new fad diets–just follow these few simple steps and, poof, a new you, easily transformed while you sleep? Or can you only reach that elusive goal of happiness when you find that perfect mate–your knight in shining armor or damsel in distress?

Think about how you would like your life to look like postdivorce and start doing some of those things now. You have choices and control. It’s up to you as to how this new chapter in your life is going to be written.

4 comments July 21, 2008

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