Posts filed under 'emotional divorce'
Out of the closet: support for the straight spouse
Just because your spouse came out of the closet,
doesn’t mean you have to go in.
I have had several individuals in my divorce consulting practice tell me that their spouse declared they were gay. They felt alone – but this is not a rare event. While Canadian figures are not available, conservative estimates indicate that roughly two million lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) individuals in the United States have married someone of the opposite sex. When these partners come out of the closet, one third of these relationships break up right away, a third stay together for a year and then separate, and another third commit to making it work – although three years later, only half of this last group of relationships are still intact.
Please click on the click to read more and a reality check:
I wrote this article for More magazine’s online edition. More magazine is a publication which celebrates women over 40. Men should also feel comfortable reading this article as it offers great tips that apply to both men and women. I’ve written many articles for this site. If you would like to browse through this magazine click on the following link: www.more.ca http://www.more.ca/relationships/single-life
Getting through these issues and feelings, and effectively coping can take anywhere from 3 – 6 years to properly heal. Statistics indicate that it takes one year of healing for every five years of marriage. And, once this process takes place, for many, there is a realization that their partner really did marry them out of love, and not to hide in a closet — they fully intended to make it work. So, while these couples cannot be lovers, perhaps they can still be good friends.
Add comment August 22, 2010
The Smart Divorce Seminar
THE SMART DIVORCE® SEMINAR
A SMART CLIENT IS A BETTER CLIENT
A VALUABLE SEMINAR ABOUT THE DIVORCE PROCESS:
HEAR FROM THE BENCH, THE BAR AND THE TRENCHES
Saturday, November 21, 2009 Time: 10:00 am – 1:00 pm
Location: Fairview Library, Room 2 – Lower Level
Registration Fee: $65.00, including G.S.T.
Speakers include: Deborah Moskovitch, Divorce Consultant and author of The Smart Divorce, and recently retired Family Law Lawyer Marilynne Cass, with Featured Guest Speaker: Mr. Justice Harvey Brownstone of the Ontario Family Court and author of the bestselling book Tug of War
If you are either contemplating or currently going through a divorce, this seminar offers you strategies and tips for successfully navigating the divorce process. You will learn about the differences between the “emotional divorce” and the “legal divorce”, emphasizing the scope and limitations of the legal process. You will also hear what you can and should be doing to better move your own case towards resolution. Your will learn how to avoid the emotional pitfalls, anticipate the financial hurdles and understand the litigation limitations. You will be better prepared to move forward with focus, hope and confidence while saving time and money –and your sanity!
Topics that will be discussed:
• Understanding Divorce: Exploring the “emotional divorce” versus the “legal divorce” and how to effectively manage the process.
• Working with Your Lawyer: It’s a job for both you and your lawyer. What you should be doing to make the process most cost effective.
• Getting Your Life in Order for the Divorce Process: How to organize your paperwork to cut down on legal expenses.
• Parenting throughout divorce: Exploring the “emotional divorce” versus the “legal, what children are going through; and putting your children’s best interest first.
• Moving from Mom’s house to Dad’s house – Understanding custody and co-parenting arrangements; developing a parenting plan; and parenting after divorce.
• The legal process and dispute resolutions. What this means and how to develop realistic expectation to manage the divorce process more cost effectively.
• Understanding how child and spousal support are determined. The financial paperwork you need to prepare, and the issues to consider regarding the matrimonial home and much more.
• Finally, you will have the unique opportunity to learn from a judge: how rulings are decided, the importance of using a lawyer, what happens to the self represented litigant
and, putting your children’s best interests first. You will gain valuable insight into what really goes on in the family court room.
To reserve your spot:
Call Deborah Moskovitch at 905-695-0270,
Marilynne Cass at 647-200-7318
or email info@thesmartdivorce.com
1 comment September 14, 2009
Space still available for The Smart Divorce Workshop at Centennial College
It’s not too late to register – if you are looking to gain greater insight into the divorce process and save time, money – and your skin……..space is still available for the May 23 workshop.
The Toronto Star profiled the workshop. For an unbiased look at what I talk about and the benefits so many have received, click on the link to view the article entitled: Taking the doom and gloom out of the divorce process
http://www.thestar.com/SpecialSections/article/541734
Click on the link for more information:
http://db2.centennialcollege.ca/ce/coursedetail.php?CourseCode=CESI-602
Search
| course code: | CESI-602 |
| course name: | The Smart Divorce |
| category: | Special Interest |
| description: | People often divorce without understanding that it is a process that has both legal and emotional components. Myths and misunderstandings prevail about the effects of divorce on parents and children. This workshop will help those contemplating or experiencing divorce navigate the process. Learn what to expect about all aspects of the divorce process, how to work more effectively with a lawyer and other professionals, and strategies and tips to reduce the complexity and costs. Become better prepared for your divorce, with focus and confidence, while saving time and money. 3 hours |
| web site: | http://www.centennialcollege.ca/fun |
| certificate: | |
| register online: | https://secure.centennialcollege.ca/webreg |
Add comment May 4, 2009
After divorce: Happier, stronger you
Too often, people identify themselves with who they were when they were married, rather than who they’ve become (or would like to become) postdivorce.
Now is the time to evaluate what you would like your life to like, and to develop strategies to get there. If you were the primary caregiver and stayed at home with your children during your marriage, perhaps you need to go to work but haven’t been in the workforce for a number of years. You could consider going to a vocational coach to help you make the transition. Perhaps you can afford to continue not working, but will this still be fulfilling? You can volunteer or pursue other interests. After all, your children may no longer be with you every day or weekend. The challenge is to rebuild your life to achieve a new kind of happiness. You just have to want to change and believe that it can be accomplished.
Visualize your life being different, and live your life as you envision it. Don’t wait to do the things that you promise yourself you will do when you feel better. Start doing those things now, and happiness will follow. If you wait until you are happier to do those things, you will be waiting a long time.
Please click on the click to read more about tips and strategies as to how to develop your postdivorce identity.
http://www.more.ca/relationships/single-life/after-divorce-happier-stronger-you/a/21185
I wrote this article for More magazine’s online edition. More magazine is a publication which celebrates women over 40. Men should also feel comfortable reading this article as it offers great insight into moving on postdivorce; tips that apply to both men and women.
I don’t want to sugarcoat things. There are times when life postdivorce is difficult, sad, and lonely. You might still be experiencing a sense of loss, a setback in terms of self-esteem, or shame at no longer being part of a couple. But there are many single people living very rewarding lives. Again, try to reframe the situation and reflect on the life you actually had when you were married. I have heard people say that although they may have been blindsided by their divorce, when they really think about their marriage they realize that they were not fulfilled. If you are having difficulty postdivorce, this is when you really need to work hard to regain a positive outlook and work toward self-acceptance. Talking to a therapist, having a strong support network, or just asking yourself many questions about your life’s goals can lead you to an evaluation of where you are headed and how to get there.
Add comment May 4, 2009
The Smart Divorce Workshop Series – Space Still Available
The Smart Divorce® Workshop Series
These workshops are appropriate for individuals contemplating or already experiencing a divorce. Strategies for reducing financial costs and personal turmoil will be presented. Participants will learn what to expect legally and emotionally, and so be able to move through the process with confidence and focus while saving time and money. A subsequent session will address parenting issues, how to work with parenting experts more effectively, and available resources. Feedback from therapists and lawyers has indicated that The Smart Divorce Workshops have helped to prepare individuals for the process and make them better clients.
I have added two new workshops to the series called – Taking Control of Your Finances – with guest speakers Atsuko Hiroaka and Aaron Nimon, both Investment Advisors of BMO Nesbit Burns. The focus of these sessions is to help manage and effectively deal with your financial concerns; how to overcome your fears and understand the financial considerations as you work through the divorce process and postdivorce concerns.
Click on the link for more information: the-smart-divorce-workshop-f09-2-finr1
Program details:
The Smart Divorce: Learning the Basics – February 4, 2009
The Smart Divorce: Taking Control of Your Finances – February 11, 2009
with Guest Speaker, Investment Advisor – Aaron Nimon of BMO Nesbit Burns
The Smart Divorce: Parenting Through Divorce – February 18, 2009 2008
The Smart Divorce: Taking Control of Your Finances – February 25, 2009
with Guest Speaker, Investment Advisor – Atsuko Hiroaka of BMO Nesbit Burns
“Your seminar game the confidence I needed to start my divorce. I know what to do now and feel I’m not alone.” Dave C. Toronto
“I met a client who took your seminar today. An educated client makes this work so much easier!” Jacqueline Vanbetlehem, Mediator and Family Therapist in Oakville
Location: 12 Lawton Boulevard, Toronto (Yonge and St. Clair)
Registration Fee: $25 per workshop
Call The Smart Divorce at 905 695 0270 or email info@thesmartdivorce.com
SPACES ARE LIMITED, CALL TODAY
2 comments January 30, 2009
Divorce’s collateral damage
Sometimes you don’t just lose your ex, you lose your
extended family and friends as well.
There are many “emotional” adjustments you have to make to build a positive life postdivorce. One of those is getting used to the fact that many friends and extended family you had while married, are no longer there for you once divorced.
Evaluating what you need to do, to let go of some of these once important relationships, requires coping strategies which will lead you towards achieving a smart divorce. Please click on the link to read more about tips and ideas as to how to navigate this new phase in your life postdivorce.
http://www.more.ca/relationships/single-life/divorce-s-collateral-damage/a/19942
I wrote this article for More magazine’s online edition. More magazine is a publication which celebrates women over 40. Men should also feel comfortable reading this article as it offers great insight into moving on and how to prepare yourself for new relationships postdivorce; tips that apply to both men and women. If you would like to browse through this magazine click on the following link: www.more.ca
Add comment January 29, 2009
