Posts filed under ‘The Smart Divorce’
Can Divorce Really Be Smart?
Did you know that divorce is a process?
di·vorce (dĭ-vôrs′, -vōrs′) n. the legal dissolution of a marriage; v. to sever the marital relationship with a spouse by a judgment or decree of divorce.
If divorce were as straightforward as the dictionary definition, the process would be a whole lot easier. But, the reality is, there are two sides to divorce — the emotional and the legal.
Couples, children, and extended families could carry on with their lives as if nothing much had changed. The “legal dissolution” could involve collegial discussions in lawyers’ boardrooms followed by the signing of papers, a handshake, and best wishes all around. Actually, some lawyers and judges favor the dictionary definition. “Treat your divorce as a business transaction,” they urge couples who come to see them. There’s a lot of wisdom in this piece of advice, if it is applied to the legal side of divorce. But this view neglects the emotional side of divorce. It’s as if they’re saying, “Business partnerships . . . marriage partnerships . . . what’s the difference?”
Please click on the link to read the rest of the article which appears in The Huffington Post.
To read more about The Smart Divorce, check it out on amazon.com
I’m on Family Matters TV
If you live in Ontario, tune in tonight- January 24, to hear my interview on Family Matters with Justice Brownstone. It’s on CHCHTV @10:30, and repeated on Saturday at 6:30.
This is a one-on-one conversation with Debrah Moskovitch, author of THE SMART DIVORCE. Learn how to minimize conflict and enter into child-focused decision-making. Learn how to reinvent yourself from an ?ex-partner? to a ?co-parent?. And best of all, learn how to surround yourself with the people you need to maximize your opportunities for success in dealing with an ex-partner.
If you miss the show, or it isn’t broadcast in your area,this episode is now available on DVD. Please go to: https://www.createspace.com/327510 to order copies.
Moving on When Your Ex Has Moved On
The following article recently appeared in the Huffington Post
This article first appeared on more.ca http://www.more.ca/relationships/single-life/when-your-ex-has-someone-new/a/18818
“How could I have been replaced so quickly!” my friend Beth wondered.
We were discussing her husband’s soon-to-be new wife; she felt shock and disbelief as to how he could find a new “serious” partner so soon after their divorce.
Our ex-spouses’ new partners was the focus of discussion one afternoon with my friends and I, while keeping Beth company. Her children were out — at their father’s (and Beth’s ex-husband’s) wedding.
While none of us were jealous or angry about our ex’s new partners, we all certainly had different feelings about the matter.
Mary, the introspective one in the group, had a very objective opinion. She was happy for her ex’s new union and actually felt “lucky.” Her reasons were practical: “I didn’t think that my ex could handle the kids on his own, his girlfriend is a nice person and is good to the kids.”
To read the whole article and view comments click on the link: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/deborah-moskovitch/moving-on-when-your-ex-ha_b_1010219.html
Finding Your Bliss After Divorce
For those residing in the Toronto area..Stay tuned this Wednesday, November 23rd at 7 pm for “FINDING YOUR BLISS AFTER DIVORCE” On ROGERS TV (Channel 10 in Toronto, 63 in Scarborough) Great show, with amazing prizes, giveaways and excellent guests, coaches and authors who are here to coach you on life after divorce. Please give us a call at 416-446-7090. The first two callers win great prizes including 4 CD’s from The Smart Divorce ToolKit and and a half hour one-on-one complimentary consultation with Divorce author and consultant Deborah Moskovitch!
The Starting Over Show
The Smart Divorce Resource ToolKit will be available for sale at The Starting Over Show this weekend in Barrie, Ontario
“The Starting Over Show,” an event dubbed as Ontario’s first Divorce and Separation Expo is being staged to give separating and newly single people access to the professional services needed to move on with life.
How Divorce Can Be Empowering
I share with More magazine online (more.ca) my most personal journey through divorce…..the purpose is to inspire and empower the reader with focus, hope and confidence.
There’s a story I often share in the hopes that it inspires and empowers others. I call it: Reframing your thoughts to create the best life yet. It’s about how my engagement ring changed from a symbol of love as a couple to love of myself. I know what you’re thinking: This sounds cliché, and this divorce consultantand educator is just one more flake trying to sell swampland in Florida.
A week after my youngest child was born I learned some devastating facts about my marriage which were about to turn my world upside down. But, fifteen years later my world is not only sunny-side up but also a whole lot different — very fulfilling. I’m living out my dreams.
I’ll never forget the day a week after my third child was born. I tried to buy diapers for my son and my credit card was declined, yet again. The humiliation I felt when I approached my car empty handed, while my parents and baby were waiting for me, was devastating. There is usually a breaking point that causes people to make difficult decisions. And that episode was to be the start of mine. It was the low point that began my catalyst for change.
I believed in the sanctity of marriage in good and bad times. I grew up fairly sheltered, with tunnel vision and naiveté. The “D” word never existed in my vocabulary and I was determined to stay married. I made my life about my children. But all that unraveled that fateful day my diaper purchase was declined – the day I realized that the trust, communication and honesty were gone from my marriage.
To read the full article, click on the link: http://www.more.ca/relationships/single-life/how-your-divorce-can-be-empowering/a/37626
The Joys of Being a Single Parent: A Dad’s Point of View
Our guest on The Smart Divorce on Divorce Source Radio, is Bruce Sallan who shares his story of becoming a first-time dad, to a son, four days after his 40th birthday, less than 9 months after getting married (they got pregnant on the honeymoon). His second son was born three years later. When Bruce’s sons were still quite young, he left his job as Vice President ABC Motion Pictures for Television to become a full-time dad and to care for his ailing parents, the classic “sandwich” situation.
Shortly thereafter, his marriage ended and his wife abandoned their children, leaving the state. He became a full-time single dad, in his late-forties. Hear Bruce share his lessons and musings on being a single dad.
Topics in this program include:
- Reactions from friends and acquaintances about being a single stay at home dad
- The inherent differences in the parenting styles of mothers and fathers
- How gender differences affecting parenting, friendships and dating
- A single dad’s view on custody and the children’s best interests
- Triumph over heartbreak; new ventures and lessons learned
- The real importance of being a single parent
How to be Smart About Divorce
I am both proud an honoured to be a guest on Family Matters with Justice Brownstone. This is by far one of my most informative and personal interviews; Justice Brownstone digs deep as I share my research and lessons learned so that anyone can have The Smart Divorce. He also delves into my own divorce journey, so that viewers are empowered with information and knowledge. Tune in tonight, October 4, at 10:30pm on CHCH TV.
If you are interested in learning more about The Smart Divorce Resource ToolKit ,which Justice Brownstone speaks so highly of, please email info@thesmartdivorce.com for more information.
Why Families Matter
Trailblazer” isn’t a term often associated with divorce professionals. With the divorce rate hovering around 50 per cent, and over a million children annually experiencing their parent’s divorce, it is critical that couples understand the impact of divorce on families, children, the individual and society.
What I find most astounding is that the divorce rate rises with subsequent marriages ( http://www.more.ca/relationships/single-life/divorce-myths-debunked/a/30888) – this only demonstrates that people are not learning from their mistakes, and/or not taking the time to understand their own needs and expectations. This only serves to demonstrate that significant learning and education need to be provided. It’s easy to see why divorce has spawned a lucrative industry.
Without trying to sound too self-important, I am proud to have been referred to as a trailblazer because I transformed my pain into a career that helps so many others. I am passionate about educating the public about divorce — the process, and the significant impact upon an individual and the family. Getting through my divorce was not easy; it was full of emotion, and needless to say significant legal bills. I learned many lessons along the way of my long protracted divorce journey, which is how I came to write The Smart Divorce: Proven Strategies and Valuable Advice from 100 Top Divorce Lawyers, Financial Advisers, Counselors, and Other Experts (Chicago Review Press, 2007). I wrote the book so that I could share my pain and others could heal from the lessons. I personally interviewed over 100 of North America’s foremost divorce professionals, so that others could be empowered with knowledge, and avoid my mistakes — while saving time, money and their sanity.
My role model for becoming a trailblazer in the divorce arena is Justice Harvey Brownstone. Justice Brownstone, Canada’s first openly gay judge, is single-handedly transforming the public image of the judiciary and enhancing access to justice. The public is desperately hungry for reliable, accessible information they can turn to about a myriad of issues impacting on relationships, parenting and the well-being of kids. With so many ways of looking at the family, and the many configurations, Justice Brownstone will also explore a number of issues related to same-sex relationships including marriage, adoption, parenting, surrogacy, and so on.
There aren’t any judges in Canada, and only a handful in the United States, that actually go out on a limb to share their wisdom and expertise without judging. It isn’t often that I write about other individuals, but I felt that furthering the cause to promote a new television show called Family Matters was in order. This is a talk show created to educate and enlighten parents and families about issues that are of importance to the modern North American family. Justice Brownstone wants parents to get the best possible information, directly from a judge, about the realities of family court and the alternatives available to litigation, so that parents could make informed decisions about how to resolve parenting disputes in a way that meets the best interests of their children. The show will deal with everything from open marriages to sexual addictions to online security and privacy to relationship formation, sustenance and dissolution.
Divorce is far more than obtaining a separation agreement; it’s managing emotions and finances, as diverse as a business transaction and the children’s best interest. This journey is creating a new normal for divorcees who question what normal is, and don’ t want to be identified with labels. Separation and divorce are filled with many nuances, hidden agendas, and fears. It’s time people really stepped up to the plate and learned what’s involved before they make the decision to separate, rather than learn while they divorce. Perhaps we can all learn a lesson or two about why Family Matters — and maybe the negative impact of divorce on children, the family and society can be lessened. You can start by tuning into Family Matters with Justice Harvey Brownstone.
To learn more about this groundbreaking show, check out the website at www.familymatterstv.com.
Tune in October 4, 10:30pm on CHCH and watch my interview with Justice Brownstone
Recent Comments