Posts filed under 'The Smart Divorce'
Taking doom and gloom out of the divorce process
Taking the doom and gloom out of the divorce process can sound like a daunting process. But, it need not be if you are smart about your divorce.
With a smart divorce, you realize that the pain of divorce can be lessened dramatically by properly handling the competing emotional and legal sides of divorce. And, that you deal with the emotional side of divorce outside of the legal system. If you are able to do this then you are more likely to gain perspective on your legal options early on; this will assist you in making informed decisions, protect you from the damage that uncontrolled emotions can cause; and guide you in meeting your children’s best interest.
Being smart about divorce also means arming yourself with knowledge about the divorce process. There are many ways to research divorce. Here are a few ways that I can help you navigate the divorce process:
- Reading the book, The Smart Divorce – available at amazon.com, amazon.ca, barnesandnoble.com and wherever books are sold.
- My One-on-One divorce consulting can help you think strategically about the divorce process. one_on_one_consulting-pdf
- Enrolling in one of The Smart Divorce workshops.
There was a recent article in The Toronto Star which outlines the benefits of The Smart Divorce workshops. http://www.thestar.com/Comment/article/541734
If you think that any of this would be helpful for you, please don’t hesitate to contact me at info@thesmartdivorce.com
Wishing you all the best during this difficult time,
Deborah
Add comment November 25, 2008
When your ex has somone new
When you ex has someone new
Feeling at peace with singledom when your
ex has a new partner
The emotional tide experienced through divorce doesn’t always end when your divorce becomes final. Just as you are moving forward, feeling positive, you’re faced with a new reality……..your ex has a new partner. Although you may or may not have a new relationships too, sometimes new emotions or old wounds surface.
Evaluating what you need to do to achieve happiness and hope in a new relationship requires thought, evaluation and introspection. Please click on the link to read more about tips and strategies as to how to navigate this new phase in your life postdivorce.
http://more.ca/relationships/single-life/when-your-ex-has-someone-new/a/18818
I wrote this article for More magazine’s online edition. More magazine is a publication which celebrates women over 40. Men should also feel comfortable reading this article as it offers great insight into moving on and how to prepare yourself for new relationships postdivorce; tips that apply to both men and women. If you would like to browse through this magazine click on the following link: www.more.ca
Add comment November 16, 2008
The Smart Divorce Tip Sheet
THE SMART DIVORCE
Tip Sheet
What is A Smart Divorce?
The Smart Divorce process will help you to:
- understand the “emotional divorce” versus the “legal divorce”
- understand the various dispute resolutions available
- make informed decisions
- minimize the financial, legal and emotional stress
Be SMART about your divorce.
State your goals and objectives at the beginning. Make sure these are realistic.
Maximize your information and knowledge base.
Avoid reacting to your emotions.
Retain the best possible divorce team your budget allows.
Treat your divorce as a business transaction.
How to start The Smart Divorce
-Develop your support network – therapist, support groups, Clergy, divorce consultant and friends.
- interview 3 family law lawyers.
-Be informed. Understand the dispute resolutions – do-it-yourself; negotiation; mediation; collaborative family law; arbitration; litigation.
-Put your children’s best interests first.
-Hire the right team of professionals based on your needs – parenting expert; financial adviser and others.
-Get your finances in order.
-Stay organized – create your divorce notebook and divorce journal.
-Have a vision for how you want your life to unfold and develop strategies to get there.
You may contact Deborah by email at info@thesmartdivorce.com
or, by calling her office at 905 695 0270
Deborah Moskovitch is a divorce consultant and educator, and author of The Smart Divorce: Proven Strategies and Valuable Advice from 100 Top Divorce Lawyers, Financial Advisers, Counselors and Other Experts. Deborah has become an opinion leader in the media and has shared her insights and research on television and radio to explain that divorce can be managed in smarter ways.
Copyright ©2008 The Smart Divorce and Deborah Moskovitch
All rights reserved. No portion of this material may be reproduced in any form without the express written permission of Deborah Moskovitch and The Smart Divorce
Add comment November 10, 2008
10 frequently asked divorce questions
The divorce process is often fraught with many questions. How do you know it’s the right thing to do? Do you stay together for the sake of the kids? What if I don’t trust my spouse any more and so on.
Many of these questions are answered in an article appearing in Homemakers magazine. Please click on the link to have some of your questions answered.
10-frequently-asked-divorce-questions
Being smart about divorce means asking lots of questions so that you are informed - and doing the research to answer these questions, so that you can answer for yourself – how to move forward with focus hope and confidence.
Add comment November 4, 2008
Watch Deborah on “Three Takes”
Watch Deborah talk about
The Smart Divorce on “Three takes”
Three Takes is a lifestyle series that gets behind the scenes and reveals what being single, married and divorced is REALLY all about. It’s about women, for women, but if men want to figure us out, they’d be foolish not to watch! It’s a girlfriend’s guide to being single, married or divorced.
Single and hear your clock ticking? Married and time crunched or divorced and wondering if your time is now? The three hosts are living these lives and aren’t afraid to share. They’re self-deprecating, funny, and fearless. They’re always surprising as they unmask the truth of being a girl. It’s say what you feel and feel what you say television.
I’ve been invited to speak about The Smart Divorce and dealing with the many issues surrounding divorce and surviving the first month – on Thursday, November 6, 2008 at 12pm and 5pm ET and 9am and 2 pm PT. It’s airing nationally in Canada, so tune in to the Slice network in your area. Although this show is targeted towards women, men might find this segment informative as well.
Add comment November 4, 2008
The Smart Divorce Workshop - At Centennial College
It’s not too late to register - if you are looking to gain greater insight into the divorce process and save time, money - and your skin……..space is still available.
Click on the link for more information:
http://db2.centennialcollege.ca/ce/coursedetail.php?CourseCode=CESI-602
Search
| course code: | CESI-602 |
| course name: | The Smart Divorce |
| category: | Special Interest |
| description: | People often divorce without understanding that it is a process that has both legal and emotional components. Myths and misunderstandings prevail about the effects of divorce on parents and children. This workshop will help those contemplating or experiencing divorce navigate the process. Learn what to expect about all aspects of the divorce process, how to work more effectively with a lawyer and other professionals, and strategies and tips to reduce the complexity and costs. Become better prepared for your divorce, with focus and confidence, while saving time and money. 3 hours |
| web site: | http://www.centennialcollege.ca/fun |
| certificate: | |
| register online: | https://secure.centennialcollege.ca/webreg |
Add comment October 3, 2008
From dam to glam: dating after divorce
The dating game, and how to ensure you are putting
your children’s best interests first.
It’s been said that dating is something that is good for you but can be hard on your children, because it pulls you away from them and may be confusing for them. There are no specific rules for dating when you have kids; there’s no right or wrong way to do it. Of course, your priority should still be your children, and sometimes you have to sacrifice your needs for them.
Dating postdivorce, achieving balance in your life and putting your children’s best interest first can be a challenge. Please click on the link to read more about tips and strategies as to how to navigate this new phase in your life postdivorce.
http://www.more.ca/relationships/married-life/from-dam-to-glam-dating-after-divorce/a/1800
I wrote this article for More magazine’s online edition. More magazine is a publication which celebrates women over 40. Men should also feel comfortable reading this article as it offers great insight into dating postdivorce; tips that apply to both men and women. If you would like to browse through this magazine click on the following link: www.more.ca
Knowing how to put your children’s best interests first
will give you a sense of comfort, calm and
the freedom to enjoy yourself.
1 comment September 15, 2008
Organizing your finances during divorce
Developing realistic expectations when it comes
to finances is of utmost importance
One of the many concerns that my client’s voice most often during a consultation is their lack of knowledge and organization skills when it comes to their finances.
Getting your finances in order with the objective of cutting down on your legal expenses should be a priority
Lawyers don’t always agree on every issue. But, when it comes to finances, all lawyers agree on how important it is for their clients to be as financially aware as possible. It’s the best way to learn your rights and obligations and to determine realistic financial expectations early in the divorce process. And the more you can manage and organize your information for your lawyer, the more you can help reduce your lawyer’s billable hours!
Here are some ideas as to learn about your finances if you were not involved with finances during your marriage:
- Get more involved in your finances. Know the basics – pay the bills and file the statements. Learn how your daily and monthly expenses are managed.
- Understand where your money is coming from and understand how to budget.
- Take part in managing or setting up any investments, know what your outstanding mortgage is and the terms and so on.
- Gain awareness of your outstanding assets and liabilities.
Many lawyers suggest that if someone is contemplating a divorce or separating, one of the first things you should do is accumulate the financial information.
Once the divorce process is under way, your lawyer will need ready access to all relevant financial documents. Start by locating and gathering together the following records pertaining to both you and your spouse:
- social security numbers
- income tax returns for the past three years
- retirement savings plans statements for the past three years
- bank account statements
- insurance policies (life; automobile; house; other)
- stock certificates
- credit card bills
- employment payment stubs
- brokerage statements
- pension statements
- health insurance and work-related benefits
- real estate records
- receipts and monthly statements documenting household expenses and everyday expenses (groceries, gas, heat, water, personal grooming, transportation, gifts, clothing, laundry and cleaning supplies, entertainment, miscellaneous expenses, and so forth)
- list of all assets and liabilities
- date of separation (the date of separation, or “valuation date,” is the date that is used to determine the value of particular assets–the matrimonial home, bank statements, investments, and so forth)
Photocopy everything, and store your set in a separate folder from the original records. Don’t just keep the originals for your own personal use; the other side is entitled to these documents, too. If you do withhold these records from the other side, sooner or later you are going to be asked to provide them, which will cost you even more in legal fees.
Keeping this information organized, being well informed and involved will give you a feeling of control, reduce the stress, and help to develop realistic financial objectives.
Add comment August 5, 2008
5 steps to post divorce happiness
Achieving happiness postdivorce is possible. But, like most things in life with a positive outcome, it requires hard work. There are things that you can do as you move through the divorce process to prepare and enable you to move forward with focus, hope and confidence; upon closing your divorce file.
Please click on the link to read more about tips and strategies as to how to accomplish postdivorce happiness. 5-steps-to-post-divorce-happiness-more-magazine-12
I wrote this article for More magazine’s online edition. More magazine is a publication which celebrates women over 40. Men should also feel comfortable reading this article as it offers great insight into moving on - postdivorce; tips that apply to both men and women. If you would like to browse through this magazine click on the following link: www.more.ca
Life is like a book: some chapters are more difficult to get through than others. When I started living on my own again, I thought about how the new chapters of my own life were going to be written. I began to ask myself many questions. Can people actually be single and happy postdivorce? If they can, how do they achieve this? What is their secret? Is it like one of those new fad diets–just follow these few simple steps and, poof, a new you, easily transformed while you sleep? Or can you only reach that elusive goal of happiness when you find that perfect mate–your knight in shining armor or damsel in distress?
Think about how you would like your life to look like postdivorce and start doing some of those things now. You have choices and control. It’s up to you as to how this new chapter in your life is going to be written.
2 comments July 21, 2008
