Posts filed under ‘matrimonial home’
Should I Keep or Sell the Matrimonial Home?
But “I” Want The Home
By: Randy Morrow
Certified Real-estate Divorce Specialist
The family home represents comfort and safety, and when divorce starts looming the immediate reaction is to look to that which is comfortable and safe. The home.
This reaction is not gender-specific, although I don’t believe I would be courting any controversy if I said the wife is the partner who generally wants to keep the home, especially if children are involved.
Let’s assume it is the wife. There is no doubt it is usually better for the family if the old family home remains the family home. But (and this is a huge But) should she stay in the home? Can she afford to stay in the home?
The decision to stay in the home is generally based on pure emotion. Very little thought is placed on the reality of staying in the home. This is where a professional becomes increasingly important. They can add Reality to your surreal situation.
How, you ask? By helping you compile a list of the financial obligations you will be facing. In many cases, the husband may have been paying the bills and you just knew they were being paid without giving any real thought to the actual costs. In today’s world, with so many women in the workforce and salary gaps gradually narrowing, the woman may have been paying the bills and the man has no clue.
Here are some items you MUST consider, they won’t go away just because you want them to. You also must consider the ramifications. For instance:
Insurance: health, life, automobile. OR, which one would you be willing to give up?
Utilities: gas, water, oil, electricity, phone(s)—cell phones, home phone, internet, etc.
Groceries & eating out. Just think about it, you might not have to go out to eat anymore.
Automobile: Normal wear & tear repairs; fuel; norm maintenance; new tires. And…how old is your current vehicle; how much longer will it last?
Home: Age of the roof? How long until the home needs to be repainted? What is the current condition of the home? In this day and age, is the mortgage higher than the value of the home if/when it comes time to sell? Will you have the time or inclination to keep the yard mowed and hedges trimmed and flower beds de-weeded?
Clothing. You AND the kids. If the kids are under eighteen, it’s a safe bet they are constantly growing out of their size; fashions are changing; they are becoming more independent but still looking to you for spending money.
Children’s Extracurricular Activities. No matter their age or where you live, the kids will be involved in some activity. And there are always costs involved. Hidden costs also, such as payment to see their games. And don’t forget, your other kids will want to go also.
Credit. Here’s one you probably haven’t thought about, especially if you have been the stay-at-home parent. Have you kept established credit or have a current payment record? Do you have perfect credit but your spouse has some ‘issues’? This will affect you if you haven’t taken steps beforehand to separate yourself from them.
The Dreaded Unknown. This is the worst category as far as I’m concerned. Unknown can wreck every plan you’ve made in an instant, and at any time. A plumbing leak for instance. Maybe a fender bender in the car. There is simply no way to accurately budget for the Unknowns.
None of this is what you want to hear; but if you lie to yourself or bury your head in the sand, the divorce will seem tame compared to the disaster to follow should you get the home and find out soon after that keeping the home was just not realistic.
Wait, you said, I’m going to be getting child support. There are two things to think about: a) what if you don’t receive the payment? b) Remember, the other spouse is going to be facing the same adjustments you are. Kind of risky to base your delicate financial balance on this, eh?
There are many more things to consider when making decisions about keeping the divorce home or selling it or consenting that the other spouse to have the home. If you really want it, I hope things work out for you. My hope is that you will now see this issue in a clear light and make a safe and sound decision for yourself and your children.
Moving from Our Home to My Home
New on The Smart Divorce on Divorce Source Radio
Moving into a new residence upon separation or divorce can be difficult. Hear Deborah’s interview with interior decorator, Deirdre Dyment about how she works with her decor clients during this transition.
Deirdre Dyment is an interior designer who believes in designing an overall experience at home that leaves you spiritually energized and equipped to live your life passionately. Deirdre knows all too well, there’s much more involved in leaving the matrimonial home than packing a suitcase and signing a lease. When she separated from her husband in 2007, she, unusually, helped him get set up in his new place, from stripping the floors and painting the walls to measuring and ordering furniture. They also got their two kids involved in creating their bedrooms.
The experience has since motivated Dyment to launch a novel service – post-divorce decorating – that assists in feathering the nests of newly single men in particular, whether it’s coordinating their renovations or sourcing and installing art to enliven their empty walls.
Topics in this program include:
• What are the different things can be done to make transition easier and less disruptive for children
• The emotional strain of leaving the family home; where to live, how much to spend and do you rent or purchase
• Creating an environment that will inspire and get the individual that has moved excited about the next chapter of their life
• Creating a space that reflects your personality and happiness
To listen to this interview and learn your own design ideas click on the link below
http://www.divorcesourceradio.com/moving-from-our-home-to-my-home/
Getting through divorce while saving time, money – and your sanity.
Introducing The Smart® Divorce Resource Toolkit
The Smart Divorce® Resource Tool Kit is now available, order yours today– one easy phone call or email, to get this valuable resource. It’s one of the most comprehensive programs providing a full overview of the divorce process — and endorsed by judges, lawyers, and mental health professionals. The Smart Divorce Resource Toolkit will help you make smart decisions for you and your family – taking you through the entire divorce process, removing the mystery and misconceptions about the outcomes of divorce, how to cut down on your legal bills and so much more.
This comprehensive resource provides an understanding of all aspects of the divorce process; helping you understand the two sides to your divorce – the “emotional divorce” and the “legal divorce”
Move through your divorce with focus, hope and confidence.
The Smart Divorce Resource Toolkit makes the divorce process easy to understand, helping you to be strategic while making sound, smart decisions. After all, information is knowledge and knowledge is power.
Call 905 695 0270 or email info@thesmartdivorce.com to get your copy of The Smart Divorce Resource Toolkit.
Included in The Smart Divorce Toolkit are tips, strategies and ideas, packaged as never seen before. This smart toolkit comes with:
The Smart Divorce Resource Toolkit is designed specifically to meet your needs — to help reduce stress, educate and inform you about the divorce process in a cost effective, easy to understand way. Guidance and information from leading family law lawyers, mental health professionals, and parenting experts well versed on the needs of those in the divorce process are included. And, it’s put together in one smart package, making it uncomplicated, and effortless to understand.
The Tool Kit contains 4 CDs covering the myriad of issues, concerns and questions most people have about divorce – removing the mystery, complexity, and confusion about divorce. Also included are Smart Guides which add another layer of detail to The Smart Divorce Audios, and provide a step by step plan for going through the divorce process.
The Smart Divorce Audios.
These unique and informative CDs provide tips and strategies to help navigate this difficult time, educate listeners about the divorce process and provide practical information on getting through it with focus, hope and confidence.
- Audio 1 – The Emotional Divorce
- Audio 2– The Legal Divorce
- Audio 3 – Smart Co-Parenting: Putting Your Children’s Best Interests First
- Audio 4 – Rebuilding Your Life Post Divorce
Smart Guides.
Tip sheets that support the information in the audios providing detail and understanding of the specific topic.
Smart Guides:
- Planning for a Smart Divorce
- Getting Your Finances Organized for Divorce
- Coping with the Stress of the Emotional Divorce
- Coping with Stress in a High Stress Environment
- Understanding Your Divorce Options
- Finding a Good Divorce Lawyer
- Smart Co-Parenting
- Living Separate and Apart
- Strengthening the Blended Family Bonds
- Divorce Financial Check List
- Understanding Marital Property Laws
- Important Financial Steps Required to Prepare for Divorce
Don’t delay, order your kit today
Call 905 695 0270 or email info@thesmartdivorce.com to get your copy of The Smart Divorce Resource Toolkit.
How Women Can Avoid Making Serious Financial Mistakes Before, During and After Divorce
Tune into the Smart Divorce on Divorce Source Radio to hear this very informative interview with financial strategist, Jeff Landers. Although Jeff’s clients are women, the information contained in this interview is helpful for men as well.
Our guest, Jeffery Landers advocates for women. Jeff is a Divorce Financial Strategist and the founder of Bedrock Divorce Advisors, LLC, a divorce financial strategy firm that exclusively works with women, who are going through, or might be going through, a financially complicated divorce. Jeff reviews the Top 6 Serious Financial Mistakes Women Make. But, men can learn some valuable lessons here as well. Jeff advises “put your emotions on the side and think financially.”
Topics in this program include:
- The top 6 serious financial mistakes made during divorce
- The important steps to organize your finances and maintain control
- Preparing for your financial future
- Financial considerations to ensure long term financial stability
- How to avoid divorce settlement mistakes
- Divorce proofing your business
Click on the link to hear Jeff share help you through the finances of divorce:
The Smart Divorce Workshop Series – Space Still Available
The Smart Divorce® Workshop Series
These workshops are appropriate for individuals contemplating or already experiencing a divorce. Strategies for reducing financial costs and personal turmoil will be presented. Participants will learn what to expect legally and emotionally, and so be able to move through the process with confidence and focus while saving time and money. A subsequent session will address parenting issues, how to work with parenting experts more effectively, and available resources. Feedback from therapists and lawyers has indicated that The Smart Divorce Workshops have helped to prepare individuals for the process and make them better clients.
I have added two new workshops to the series called – Taking Control of Your Finances – with guest speakers Atsuko Hiroaka and Aaron Nimon, both Investment Advisors of BMO Nesbit Burns. The focus of these sessions is to help manage and effectively deal with your financial concerns; how to overcome your fears and understand the financial considerations as you work through the divorce process and postdivorce concerns.
Click on the link for more information: the-smart-divorce-workshop-f09-2-finr1
Program details:
The Smart Divorce: Learning the Basics – February 4, 2009
The Smart Divorce: Taking Control of Your Finances – February 11, 2009
with Guest Speaker, Investment Advisor – Aaron Nimon of BMO Nesbit Burns
The Smart Divorce: Parenting Through Divorce – February 18, 2009 2008
The Smart Divorce: Taking Control of Your Finances – February 25, 2009
with Guest Speaker, Investment Advisor – Atsuko Hiroaka of BMO Nesbit Burns
“Your seminar game the confidence I needed to start my divorce. I know what to do now and feel I’m not alone.” Dave C. Toronto
“I met a client who took your seminar today. An educated client makes this work so much easier!” Jacqueline Vanbetlehem, Mediator and Family Therapist in Oakville
Location: 12 Lawton Boulevard, Toronto (Yonge and St. Clair)
Registration Fee: $25 per workshop
Call The Smart Divorce at 905 695 0270 or email info@thesmartdivorce.com
SPACES ARE LIMITED, CALL TODAY
Do I Keep or Sell the Matrimonial Home
Do I Keep or Sell the Matrimonial Home?
The question of what to do with the matrimonial home is frequently asked by clients in my consulting practice. What do they do, keep it or sell it?
The family home is an especially difficult consideration. For many, there are emotional ties, fond memories and the feelings of security. And the world around you assumes that in a divorce, the winner takes the home and the loser moves out. The truth is we all know that in divorce there should be no winner or loser because being smart about divorce means we try to avoid a war. But, while the home represent so much emotionally, it may not be the best asset for your financial security.
Here are some questions you need answered to help factor into your decision:
- Will your postdivorce income cover the costs to run your home?
- What is the outstanding mortgage?
- Why am I keeping it?
- Is it too much space, or just enough?
- If I decide to move, what are the associated selling and buying costs?
There is an interesting article I came across called “In Housing Slump, Breaking up is Hard to Do.” It refers to another consideration regarding the matrimonial home and that is, keeping the home in the divorcees hands until the slumping housing market recovers. For more details, see the article attached.in-housing-slumpfred-glassman
Consider these factors and any other items which are important to you and discuss them with the right experts when developing your postdivorce financial plan.
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