Posts filed under ‘Divorce information’
Want to learn more about The Smart Divorce Resource ToolKit, listen in as Steve Peck and I talk about how to have The Smart Divorce.
The very word “divorce” conjures up fear, sadness, anger, confusion and, for some, relief. But the reality of what divorce really looks like and means with all of its implications are not always clear. With close to 50% of marriages ending in divorce, we need to better employ strategies that will keep everyone, including those caught in the middle – often the children – moving towards a better life. Divorce can be a beginning even if it looks like an end.
No matter who you are, what your finances look like, whether you have children or working through issues, divorce can be complex and complicated, but it doesn’t need to be. Almost all of us have questions, deal with problems and are faced with the myriad of concerns as we navigate the maze of divorce.
Hear Deborah Moskovitch and Steve Peck discuss the concerns and questions most of us have through divorce and the importance of making smart decisions – all with the help of The Smart Divorce Resource ToolKit.
Topics include:
- The emotional, legal and finances of divorce
- Smart Co-Parenting
- Rebuilding your life to build a better future
- Coping with divorce in the workplace
- Understanding workplace stress
- How organizations can help employees stay mindful on the job
“Like” Divorce Source Radio on Facebook between February 8-15 to enter your name in a draw to win a copy of The Smart Divorce Resource ToolKit.
But, even if you don’t win the free ToolKit, it’s still a win, email info@thesmartdivorce.com to place an order and mention you heard about it on Divorce Source Radio to receive a 10% discount! To preview the program click on the link – http://wp.me/pbONe-gF
Click on the link to listen to this most valuable interview ad learn how you can save time, money and your sanity on the way to a Smart Divorce.
http://www.divorcesourceradio.com/save-time-money-and-your-sanity-when-going-through-divorce/
February 8, 2012 at 10:34 pm
Breakups can take financial toll on employers, emotional toll on colleagues
By Deborah Moskovitch
I wrote this article for the HR Reporter which appeared in the January 30, 2012 edition.
Divorce or the breakdown of a relationship is an extremely emotional process. People are often confused, filled with fear and unsure of how to navigate the process. Their world is turned upside down, triggering unsettling and distressful emotions. The effects of the emotional distress in the workplace can be devastating.
Close to 50 per cent of marriages in North America end in divorce. The divorce rate rises to a staggering 60 per cent and higher for subsequent divorces by these same individuals. Clearly, we need to employ strategies that will get everyone, including those caught in the middle — often the children — off the “divorce-go-round” and on to a better life. We need to encourage healthy new beginnings, even when divorce looks like an end.
On a classic rating scale of stressful life events, divorce consistently ranks number two — second only to the death of a spouse or child. People often feel overburdened and lack confidence so it’s not surprising many buckle under the pressure.
Divorce undoubtedly reduces a worker’s productivity. Research by Integrated Organizational Development in Waynesville, N.C., pegged the cost per worker going through a divorce at about $8,300, assuming an average wage of $19.50 per hour and a 50 per cent to 75 per cent drop in productivity. It also includes days missed as the worker takes time off to deal with the legal, financial and psychological issues related to divorce.
For the full article, click on the link:
HR Reporter_Helping an employee through divorce – Moskovitch copy copy
If you would like more information about workplace divorce support, check out The Smart Divorce Resource ToolKit http://wp.me/pbONe-gF
February 2, 2012 at 12:56 am
If you live in Ontario, tune in tonight- January 24, to hear my interview on Family Matters with Justice Brownstone. It’s on CHCHTV @10:30, and repeated on Saturday at 6:30.
This is a one-on-one conversation with Debrah Moskovitch, author of THE SMART DIVORCE. Learn how to minimize conflict and enter into child-focused decision-making. Learn how to reinvent yourself from an ?ex-partner? to a ?co-parent?. And best of all, learn how to surround yourself with the people you need to maximize your opportunities for success in dealing with an ex-partner.
If you miss the show, or it isn’t broadcast in your area,this episode is now available on DVD. Please go to: https://www.createspace.com/327510 to order copies.
January 25, 2012 at 2:58 am
In this episode of The Smart Divorce with Deborah Moskovitch, we discuss The Ten Signs that Your Spouse May be Planning to Divorce You.
Many times, especially in long-term relationships, spouses drift apart. They may not be having sex much, if at all, and their intimate conversations and sharing of day-to-day life experiences may cease to exist.
You would think that these signs, alone, would be enough to cause partners to wonder if their relationship was in trouble. It seems, however, that this pattern of distancing themselves was a slow, eroding process, and for some, they feel it was the normal progression of a long-term relationship.
If you and your partner have lost the connection that you once shared, it’s possible that your partner has considered, or could even be planning, a divorce, without your having any knowledge of it. Deborah reveals the signs that your spouse might be seeking a divorce, as originally mentioned inThe Globe and Mail article, by Tralee Pearce
Click on the link to listen:
http://www.divorcesourceradio.com/ten-signs-your-spouse-may-be-planning-to-divorce-you/
January 16, 2012 at 1:07 am
Divorce Source Radio’s Steve Peck has a discussion on spending the holidays alone, with DSR The Smart Divorce host, author and divorce consultant, Deborah Moskovitch.
We share our different backgrounds as we discuss Deborah’s experience of being alone during Hanukkah, and Steve’s during Christmas. We also touch on the difficulty of being newly divorced at other major life events and celebrations.
As the program progresses, we become a bit more philosophical, as we discuss why and how couples fall out of love in the first place. And we ask the question, “Are those in high conflict divorces actually more in love with their spouses, and soon-to-be exes, than those who divorce with a mutual understanding that they have both simply fallen out of love?” What do you think? Write us your thoughts at DivorceSourceRadio@gmail.com. We’d love to hear from you.
To listen, tune in to:
http://www.divorcesourceradio.com/spending-holidays-alone-and-beginning-new-traditions/
December 19, 2011 at 3:45 pm
Our guest, award winner and mentor, Judge Lynn Toler (http://judgelynn.com/toler_divorce_court/) is smart, talented and creative – and judge on one of television’s most successful courtroom drama series: DIVORCE COURT.
Judge Lynn Toler is a former municipal court judge who now hosts the nationally syndicated show, Divorce Court. She is also a bi-monthly contributor to News and Notes on NPR and became host of the prime time TV show Decision House in 2007. In 2006, Judge Lynn published her book, My Mother’s Rules: A Practical Guide to Becoming an Emotional Genius. Praised as an “awe-inspiring memoir” by Essence Magazine, it not only chronicles her life as a child raised in the shadow of her father’s mental illness but provides practical advice for anyone seeking more and better emotional control
Having completed more than two thousand episodes, on DIVORCE COURT, Judge Lynn Toler turns up the heat on court shows in this half-hour, relationship oriented series. Viewers experience the drama firsthand as husbands and wives square off in real-life courtroom battles. Judge Lynn shares her wisdom and insight of the legal process, how to have a much smarter divorce…..or even save your marriage. And, she speaks of her mission to gain awareness about teen violence.
Topics in this program include:
- How communicating better might help you avoid divorce
- What a judge can and cannot do
- The emotions of court; what to do to get a better resolution
- The inherent unfairness of no fault divorce
- The surprising truth about teen violence and what parents should be aware of Domestic violence – an explanation, coping and managing
- The limits of the legal system
- Intelligent mediation
To hear this fascinating interview click on the link:
November 10, 2011 at 4:27 pm
Our guest, Lisa Decker (www.DivorceMoneyMatters.com) who is referred to as Miss Money Matters ® - is the CEO and founder of Divorce Money Matters®. Ms. Decker is an expert in divorce financial matters, and a discreet problem-solver who guides her clients to “Divorce Your Spouse, Not Your Money®.” She has been interviewed by CNN, Good Morning America, NY Times, Business Week, CreditCards.com, ForbesWomen.com, and Oprah magazine.
The finances of divorce and how they are managed and worked through during the divorce process can significantly impact your post divorce future. Tune in to understand the most common mistakes and what you can do to avoid them.
Topics in this program include:
- How to make decisions based on facts, not emotions
- How to create a realistic post-divorce budget
- The impact of joint debts
- Protecting your income streams
- Considering the long-term consequences of your choices
- Developing your dream divorce team
To listen in click on the link:
November 9, 2011 at 8:35 pm
Please click on the link to listen to my conversation with Sara Dimerman, a therapist and parenting coach who interviewed me about The Smart Divorce.
Click here to listen
Over the course of this seminar you will learn more about:
- The normal range of mixed emotion you will experience after the separation.
- The most common mistakes that parents unintentionally make with their children after the separation.
- The most important factors to keep in mind in order for your children to be least affected by the changes to your family.
- The best ways to respond to your children’s most common questions such as “will daddy ever come live with us again?” and “do you still love mommy?”
- How to cope with the changes to your social life: what’s there to do when you’re feeling lonely on a Saturday night.
- The domino effect: how to deal with friends and family who are feeling the impact of the changes too.
- When, where and how to introduce your children to a new partner.
- Resources and supports available to you.
August 30, 2011 at 2:53 pm
Once of the reasons I became a divorce consultant and educator is because I believe in the importance of divorce education. My career evolved and has become my passion and mission since writing The Smart Divorce. Getting through my divorce was not easy; it was full of emotion, and needless to say significant legal bills. I wrote the book so that I could share my pain and others could heal from the lessons. The Smart Divorce provides wisdom from over 100 of North America’s foremost divorce professionals, so that others could be empowered with knowledge – and save time, money and their sanity.
I have been fortunate that my message not only continues to be endorsed, but promoted by so many professionals in the divorce arena. They further assist with my divorce education on the many aspects of the divorce process — on topics from putting your children’s best interest first to finances, from managing your emotions to rebuilding your life post-divorce and so much more. And, they provide a forum for me to share this learning.
My role model for taking risks and being a trailblazer in the divorce arena is Justice Harvey Brownstone. Justice Brownstone is an outspoken Judge who speaks passionately about divorce, families and the impact on society without hesitation. Educating the public about divorce, and other family matters seems to be his mission. I was honored to be a guest on the show for another guest appearance this summer. I was first interviewed when the show premiered last year. For a preview of what we discussed in my second interview, click on the link below.
http://www.familymatterstv.com/2011/07/debra-moskovitch-on-family-matters/
And, to hear the first interview click on this link below:
http://www.familymatterstv.com/2010/08/the-smart-divorce/
August 23, 2011 at 7:09 pm
My latest post in the Huffington Post, which first appeared on more.ca
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/deborah-moskovitch/divorces-collateral-damag_b_904553.html
http://www.more.ca/relationships/single-life/divorce-s-collateral-damage/a/19942/2
Divorce’s Collateral Damage
“I need to stand by my brother; we can’t be friends any more.”
This is a moment Ashley had with her friend–and soon to be ex-sister-in-law. A bond nourished for over 23 years was broken. There were tears and hugs, but the closure was hard to accept. Why does divorce lead to this kind of moment over and over?
When some people are faced with a friend or family member who is going through divorce, it just seems easier not to have to take sides. For others, the relationship is severed because it was never really all that important. And there are people that try to maintain a relationship with both, and continue the link with grace.
Of course it’s not all just tears and hugs: Charlotte, who has been divorced for 5 years, told me she was relieved not to have to fake being nice to certain relatives and friends any more. But for others like Ashley, there can be a deep sadness at the loss of these relationships. Some individuals also experience an identity loss, as they are no longer welcome in certain social circles, invited to parties or know where to sit at their child’s soccer game.
How to get through
Jan Schloss, a social worker, certified parenting coach and family mediator, often discusses with her clients the issues related to the loss of these relationships.
There are different ways to look at it, says Schloss. These are loyalty issues, where many privately consider, “Who am I going to side with, and how can I be friends with both?”
One of the suggestions she makes to clients when confronting the loss is to “redefine who you are and how you would like to be in this new phase of your life.” And for those that think there may be a possibility of maintaining a relationship, Schloss says, “Remember, you are not divorcing your in-laws or extended family that you loved and felt clearly connected.”
There might be potential to continue that connection, but prepare yourself emotionally if you can’t.
Here are the top 5 things to consider when coming to terms with the loss of these relationship
You don’t have to grin and bear it alone
Seek the help of a professional to help you cope with grieving the loss of these relationships.
Find strength from other relationships
Divorce is a process; accept that there will be losses. Maintaining a positive outlook will help you stay strong and develop other fulfilling relationships.
Redefine who you are
Ask yourself, “Who am I?” and “What do I want out of life?” Shed the notion that you need to define yourself by who you were when married.
Eliminate negativity
Consistently taking about the loss of these relationships will drive people away; it means you have not moved on. Speaking negatively to your children about their extended family will make them feel that they are betraying you if they have a relationship with their grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins, and you don’t want your children to feel like they have to keep secrets from you.
Put your children’s best interest first
If your children have had a positive and loving relationship with extended family and friends, it is important to keep up the connections because good relationships impact on how the children feel about themselves.
For some, divorce can feel like the beginning of a Cold War, with tension between two factions: your side and his. Divorce not only represents the uncoupling of a partnership, but can also result in the loss of other relationships, which were important to you while married. As the saying goes, time heals. Gradually, you will come to accept these losses and no longer feel the void.
This article first appeared on More.ca
August 3, 2011 at 11:23 pm
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