Children often have difficulty with a divorced parent’s first move into the dating world. Many children, no matter how old, fantasize about mommy and daddy getting back together and becoming part of one big happy family again. While deep down your children know fantasy will likely not become a reality, moving on to the next chapter of your life requires balance and sensitivity.

When Barbara Steinman* first started dating again, she found “dating was exciting and took up a lot of time. I didn’t have balance in my life. I was going out a lot and then realized I had to pull back and spend more time at home with my kids.”

Steinman says she also felt self-conscious, wondering what other people would think of her.

“After being married for so many years I hadn’t thought of myself in terms of being appealing to men in a relationship or sexual sense, rather than as friends.”

To read the whole article, click on the link: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/deborah-moskovitch/getting-into-the-post-div_b_1010925.html

Get Through Your Divorce While Saving Time, Money – and Your Sanity!

The Smart Divorce Resource ToolKit is designed specifically to meet your needs — to help reduce stress, educate and inform you about the divorce process in a cost-effective, easy to understand way. Guidance and information from leading family law lawyers, mental health professionals, and parenting experts well versed on the needs of those in the divorce process are included.  And, it’s put together in one smart package, making it uncomplicated, and effortless to understand.  This program has also  been endorsed by the foremost  Judges, Lawyers and Mental Health Professionals. And, this ToolKit was praised by Justice Harvey Brownstone on his popular TV show Family Matters http://www.familymatterstv.com/why-families-matter and http://www.familymatterstv.com/how-to-be-smart-about-divorce

Move Through Your Divorce with Focus, Hope and Confidence 

The Smart Divorce Audios

These unique and informative CDs provide tips and strategies to help navigate this difficult time, educate listeners about the divorce process and provide practical information on getting through it with focus, hope and confidence.

• Audio 1 – The Emotional Divorce
• Audio 2– The Legal Divorce
• Audio 3 – Smart Co-Parenting: Putting Your Children’s Best Interests First
• Audio 4 – Rebuilding Your Life Post Divorce

Smart Guides

Tip sheets that guide you through divorce specifics, covering a myriad of helpful topics – empower yourself with information and knowledge.

Smart Guides:

• Planning for a Smart Divorce
• Getting Your Finances Organized for Divorce
• Coping with the Stress of the Emotional Divorce
• How to Increase Your Ability to Cope When Divorcing
• Understanding Your Divorce Options
• Finding a Good Divorce Lawyer
• Smart Co-Parenting
• Living Separate and Apart
• Strengthening the Blended Family Bonds
• Divorce Financial Check List
• Understanding Marital Property Laws
• Important Financial Steps Required to Prepare for Divorce

Judge Lynn Toler is a former municipal court judge who now hosts the nationally syndicated show, Divorce Court. She is also a bi-monthly contributor to News and Notes on NPR and became host of the prime time TV show Decision House in 2007. In 2006, Judge Lynn published her book, My Mother’s Rules: A Practical Guide to Becoming an Emotional Genius. Praised as an “awe-inspiring memoir” by Essence Magazine, it not only chronicles her life as a child raised in the shadow of her father’s mental illness but provides practical advice for anyone seeking more and better emotional control

Having completed more than two thousand episodes, on DIVORCE COURT, Judge Lynn Toler turns up the heat on court shows in this half-hour, relationship oriented series. Viewers experience the drama firsthand as husbands and wives square off in real-life courtroom battles.  Judge Lynn shares her wisdom and insight of the legal process, how to have a much smarter divorce…..or even save your marriage.  And, she speaks of her mission to gain awareness about teen violence.

Topics in this program include:

• How communicating better might help you avoid divorce
• What a judge can and cannot do
• The emotions of court; what to do to get a better resolution
• The inherent unfairness of no fault divorce
• The surprising truth about teen violence and what parents should be aware of Domestic violence – an explanation, coping and managing
• The limits of the legal system
• Intelligent mediation

“The Starting Over Show,” an event dubbed as Ontario’s first Divorce and Separation Expo is being staged to give separating and newly single people access to the professional services needed to move on with life.

To support parents, caregivers and kids who have been touched by divorce, Divorce Money Matters is  gathering together a diverse group of high-integrity authors, coaches, consultants and service providers, to GIVE AWAY Tens of Thousands of $$ in books, products, programs and services that are meant to assist you and your children mentally, emotionally, financially and spiritually.

If you have children and are going through divorce, or have experienced divorce in the past and are seeking guidance - you’ve come to the right place. Welcome to our community of heart-centered professionals who want to honor and support you and your family as you deal with the transition and challenges of raising children amidst divorce in the best ways possible.

Divorce Money Matters knows and understand the difficulties you may deal with as a single parent or other caregiver and respect and greet you with open arms here!

Click on the link to learn more http://giveaway.divorcemoneymatters.com/

If you are interested in learning more about The Smart Divorce Resource ToolKit ,which Justice Brownstone speaks so highly of, please email info@thesmartdivorce.com for more information.

Click here to listen

I have been fortunate that my message not only continues to be endorsed, but promoted by so many professionals in the divorce arena.  They further assist with my divorce education on the many aspects of the divorce process — on topics from putting your children’s best interest first to finances, from managing your emotions to rebuilding your life post-divorce and so much more.  And, they provide a forum for me to share this learning.

My role model for taking risks and being a trailblazer in the divorce arena is Justice Harvey Brownstone. Justice Brownstone is an outspoken Judge who speaks passionately about divorce, families and the impact on society without hesitation. Educating the public about divorce, and other family matters seems to be his mission. I was honored to be a guest on the show for another guest appearance this summer.  I was first interviewed when the show premiered last year. For a preview of what we discussed in my second interview, click on the link below.

http://www.familymatterstv.com/2011/07/debra-moskovitch-on-family-matters/

And, to hear the first interview click on this link below:

http://www.familymatterstv.com/2010/08/the-smart-divorce/

Breaking up is hard to do, but it helps to have Ryan Gosling there to get you back on your feet when your marriage falls apart. Every newly divorced man can rely on this, right? How does the picture of divorce painted by Crazy, Stupid, Love, also starring Steve Carell and Julianne Moore, hold up to reality? Pretty well actually, says Deborah Moskovitch, a Toronto-based divorce consultant and author of The Smart Divorce.

Do you think that any middle-aged man who wears running shoes on a romantic date with his wife is headed straight to divorce city?

He’s not headed straight to a divorce, but he should head straight to Harry Rosen and work with a stylist.

What is a divorce consultant, anyways?

What makes me different [than a lawyer or therapist] is that I help people really understand the divorce process from the emotional side and the legal side without offering legal advice or acting like a therapist.

Should you avoid driving with your spouse after telling them you want a divorce so that no one jumps out of the car, the way Carell’s character does in the movie?

If you want to have a smart divorce rather than an ugly divorce, I don’t think you should have that conversation in the car. There’s got to be more planning. You need to think things through. Someone is always going to be hurt by that decision. I have a lot of clients who don’t know how to tell their partner. I’ll send them to a therapist.

In the movie, one of the kids finds out about the divorce when Carell’s character accidentally blurts it out in front of him. Telling the kids is obviously incredibly difficult, but just blurting it out probably isn’t best, right?

That’s got to be the worst thing. It’s devastating for that kid. Kids need to know that the divorce was not their fault, that you love them very much. You need to make them feel secure. Both parents should sit down together and explain the reasons for the divorce, come up with a plan of who’s moving out, where they’re moving, and answer some of the questions that the kids are going to want to know.

When news spreads about Carell and Moore’s divorce, one couple informs Carell they had to pick who to be friends with, and they chose Moore. How do you make sure that when your friends decide which of you they’re going to remain friends with, they pick you?

I don’t think that you can do that. Some couples are able to part amicably, and people don’t feel like they have to take sides. But I do know of people that have said to their friend, “If you’re friends with her, then I can’t be friends with you any more.” Some people do feel there’s a loyalty bond and you’re breaking that bond if you’re socializing [with their ex].

Should every newly single man who is going through a divorce hope that a Ryan Gosling-esque ladies man shepherds them through the dating scene and maybe helps them win their wives back?

It’s deeper than that. Maybe he [Steve Carell’s character] did let himself go. And he just became so complacent in the relationship that he wasn’t keeping himself up the way he did when they first started dating. Clothes don’t make the man, but it’s important not to get into a routine or forget to focus on the relationship any longer.

So no Gosling-esque ladies men, then?

What happens to a lot of people is that they’ve got this identity as a married couple and then they are floundering. You do need to reinvent yourself, in a sense, to find yourself, who you are as an individual. Oftentimes people will start working out and they’ll start paying attention to themselves, they start dressing better. It’s common for people to want to take better care of themselves.

Julianne Moore’s character has an affair. Is that a frequent precursor to divorce?

Some people have an exit affair. One spouse has already decided to leave the marriage and the affair provides the justification. The other partner usually blames the affair rather than looking at how their marriage got to this point.

When do you know that a marriage is definitely over, that there’s no way it can be salvaged?

If you lose trust and respect, that’s often difficult to get back. But everyone has an individual breaking point. One of the things I do for my clients is that if they are very unsure, I will tell them to work with a therapist to make sure this is the right decision for them. Because there’s no going back once you go down that road.

As someone who does your job, what did you really like about the movie, and what did you really not like?

I think the movie was very good about showing the pain of divorce. What I didn’t like about the movie was it just showed that he was able to bounce back a little too quickly to become that womanizer. But there wasn’t much that I didn’t like about that movie. It wasn’t a deep movie, but it did show that kids are smarter than we give them credit for, it showed the mistakes that parents make.

This interview has been condensed and edited.

To access the article click on the link

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/relationships/love/divorce/crazy-stupid-love-is-this-what-divorce-looks-like/article2117429/