Posts filed under ‘divorce options’
Ten Signs Your Spouse May be Planning to Divorce You
In this episode of The Smart Divorce with Deborah Moskovitch, we discuss The Ten Signs that Your Spouse May be Planning to Divorce You.
Many times, especially in long-term relationships, spouses drift apart. They may not be having sex much, if at all, and their intimate conversations and sharing of day-to-day life experiences may cease to exist.
You would think that these signs, alone, would be enough to cause partners to wonder if their relationship was in trouble. It seems, however, that this pattern of distancing themselves was a slow, eroding process, and for some, they feel it was the normal progression of a long-term relationship.
If you and your partner have lost the connection that you once shared, it’s possible that your partner has considered, or could even be planning, a divorce, without your having any knowledge of it. Deborah reveals the signs that your spouse might be seeking a divorce, as originally mentioned inThe Globe and Mail article, by Tralee Pearce
Click on the link to listen:
http://www.divorcesourceradio.com/ten-signs-your-spouse-may-be-planning-to-divorce-you/
How You Can Divorce With Focus, Hope and Confidence
The Smart Divorce® Resource ToolKit
Get Through Your Divorce While Saving Time, Money – and Your Sanity!
The Smart Divorce Resource ToolKit is designed specifically to meet your needs — to help reduce stress, educate and inform you about the divorce process in a cost-effective, easy to understand way. Guidance and information from leading family law lawyers, mental health professionals, and parenting experts well versed on the needs of those in the divorce process are included. And, it’s put together in one smart package, making it uncomplicated, and effortless to understand. This program has also been endorsed by the foremost Judges, Lawyers and Mental Health Professionals. And, this ToolKit was praised by Justice Harvey Brownstone on his popular TV show Family Matters http://www.familymatterstv.com/why-families-matter and http://www.familymatterstv.com/how-to-be-smart-about-divorce
Move Through Your Divorce with Focus, Hope and Confidence
The Smart Divorce Audios
These unique and informative CDs provide tips and strategies to help navigate this difficult time, educate listeners about the divorce process and provide practical information on getting through it with focus, hope and confidence.
- Audio 1 – The Emotional Divorce
- Audio 2– The Legal Divorce
- Audio 3 – Smart Co-Parenting: Putting Your Children’s Best Interests First
- Audio 4 – Rebuilding Your Life Post Divorce
Smart Guides
Tip sheets that guide you through divorce specifics, covering a myriad of helpful topics – empower yourself with information and knowledge.
Smart Guides:
- Planning for a Smart Divorce
- Getting Your Finances Organized for Divorce
- Coping with the Stress of the Emotional Divorce
- How to Increase Your Ability to Cope When Divorcing
- Understanding Your Divorce Options
- Finding a Good Divorce Lawyer
- Smart Co-Parenting
- Living Separate and Apart
- Strengthening the Blended Family Bonds
- Divorce Financial Check List
- Understanding Marital Property Laws
- Important Financial Steps Required to Prepare for Divorce
For more information or to place an order, call 905 695 0270 or email info@thesmartdivorce.com to get your copy of
The Smart Divorce Resource ToolKit.
For as little as $64.99 you will have the information and knowledge you need to have a Smart Divorce
TV’s Divorce Court Celebrity Judge Lynn Toler with Thoughts on Divorce
Our guest, award winner and mentor, Judge Lynn Toler (http://judgelynn.com/toler_divorce_court/) is smart, talented and creative – and judge on one of television’s most successful courtroom drama series: DIVORCE COURT.
Judge Lynn Toler is a former municipal court judge who now hosts the nationally syndicated show, Divorce Court. She is also a bi-monthly contributor to News and Notes on NPR and became host of the prime time TV show Decision House in 2007. In 2006, Judge Lynn published her book, My Mother’s Rules: A Practical Guide to Becoming an Emotional Genius. Praised as an “awe-inspiring memoir” by Essence Magazine, it not only chronicles her life as a child raised in the shadow of her father’s mental illness but provides practical advice for anyone seeking more and better emotional control
Having completed more than two thousand episodes, on DIVORCE COURT, Judge Lynn Toler turns up the heat on court shows in this half-hour, relationship oriented series. Viewers experience the drama firsthand as husbands and wives square off in real-life courtroom battles. Judge Lynn shares her wisdom and insight of the legal process, how to have a much smarter divorce…..or even save your marriage. And, she speaks of her mission to gain awareness about teen violence.
Topics in this program include:
- How communicating better might help you avoid divorce
- What a judge can and cannot do
- The emotions of court; what to do to get a better resolution
- The inherent unfairness of no fault divorce
- The surprising truth about teen violence and what parents should be aware of Domestic violence – an explanation, coping and managing
- The limits of the legal system
- Intelligent mediation
Ten Pre-Divorce Money Mistakes that can make a Big Difference in Your Post Divorce Future
Our guest, Lisa Decker (www.DivorceMoneyMatters.com) who is referred to as Miss Money Matters ® - is the CEO and founder of Divorce Money Matters®. Ms. Decker is an expert in divorce financial matters, and a discreet problem-solver who guides her clients to “Divorce Your Spouse, Not Your Money®.” She has been interviewed by CNN, Good Morning America, NY Times, Business Week, CreditCards.com, ForbesWomen.com, and Oprah magazine.
The finances of divorce and how they are managed and worked through during the divorce process can significantly impact your post divorce future. Tune in to understand the most common mistakes and what you can do to avoid them.
Topics in this program include:
- How to make decisions based on facts, not emotions
- How to create a realistic post-divorce budget
- The impact of joint debts
- Protecting your income streams
- Considering the long-term consequences of your choices
- Developing your dream divorce team
How to be Smart About Divorce on Family Matters TV
I am both proud an honoured to be a guest on Family Matters with Justice Brownstone. This is by far one of my most informative and personal interviews; Justice Brownstone digs deep as I share my research and lessons learned so that anyone can have The Smart Divorce. He also delves into my own divorce journey, so that viewers are empowered with information and knowledge. Tune in tonight, October 4, at 10:30pm on CHCH TV.
If you are interested in learning more about The Smart Divorce Resource ToolKit ,which Justice Brownstone speaks so highly of, please email info@thesmartdivorce.com for more information.
Separation & Divorce: The ABC’s of helping your family cope with change
Please click on the link to listen to my conversation with Sara Dimerman, a therapist and parenting coach who interviewed me about The Smart Divorce.
Over the course of this seminar you will learn more about:
- The normal range of mixed emotion you will experience after the separation.
- The most common mistakes that parents unintentionally make with their children after the separation.
- The most important factors to keep in mind in order for your children to be least affected by the changes to your family.
- The best ways to respond to your children’s most common questions such as “will daddy ever come live with us again?” and “do you still love mommy?”
- How to cope with the changes to your social life: what’s there to do when you’re feeling lonely on a Saturday night.
- The domino effect: how to deal with friends and family who are feeling the impact of the changes too.
- When, where and how to introduce your children to a new partner.
- Resources and supports available to you.
Deborah Talks: How to be Smart About Divorce with Justice Harvey Brownstone
Once of the reasons I became a divorce consultant and educator is because I believe in the importance of divorce education. My career evolved and has become my passion and mission since writing The Smart Divorce. Getting through my divorce was not easy; it was full of emotion, and needless to say significant legal bills. I wrote the book so that I could share my pain and others could heal from the lessons. The Smart Divorce provides wisdom from over 100 of North America’s foremost divorce professionals, so that others could be empowered with knowledge – and save time, money and their sanity.
I have been fortunate that my message not only continues to be endorsed, but promoted by so many professionals in the divorce arena. They further assist with my divorce education on the many aspects of the divorce process — on topics from putting your children’s best interest first to finances, from managing your emotions to rebuilding your life post-divorce and so much more. And, they provide a forum for me to share this learning.
My role model for taking risks and being a trailblazer in the divorce arena is Justice Harvey Brownstone. Justice Brownstone is an outspoken Judge who speaks passionately about divorce, families and the impact on society without hesitation. Educating the public about divorce, and other family matters seems to be his mission. I was honored to be a guest on the show for another guest appearance this summer. I was first interviewed when the show premiered last year. For a preview of what we discussed in my second interview, click on the link below.
http://www.familymatterstv.com/2011/07/debra-moskovitch-on-family-matters/
And, to hear the first interview click on this link below:
http://www.familymatterstv.com/2010/08/the-smart-divorce/
Mistakes We Make During Divorce and How to Avoid Them
This time the spots are switched, I’m interviewed by my c o-host Steve Peck on his show, Divorce Source Radio. Tune in to hear the mistakes often made during divorce.
Divorce is an extremely emotional time in our life and under stress, we don’t always make the right choices.
The legal system is confusing and frightening and we sometimes let our anger get the best of us creating a battle with our soon to be ex that can last a lifetime and affect the lives of our children and our finances.
In this episode, DSR host Steve Peck, speaks with Divorce Consultant and author of The Smart Divorce, Deborah Moskovitch on how to avoid costly mistakes during divorce.
Listening to this show if you are new to the process of divorce can save you thousands of dollars in legal expenses, the relationship with your children and your sanity.
Click on the link below to hear the interview, to save time, money– and your sanity.
http://www.divorcesourceradio.com/mistakes-we-make-during-divorce-and-how-to-avoid-them/
Introducing – The Smart Divorce® Resource Tool Kit
I am pleased to announce the launch of a new product called: The Smart Divorce® Resource Tool Kit. The purpose of the Tool Kit is to provide organizations, lawyers, mental health professionals and others in the divorce arena with a resource to help their employees and clients divorce with focus, hope and confidence. The Smart Divorce® Resource Tool Kit is one very smart package developed specifically to meet an individual’s needs.
This valuable Tool Kit is designed to reduce stress, educate and inform about the many aspects of the divorce process, and is cost effective and easy to understand.
Divorce or a breakdown of a co-habitation relationship is an extremely emotional process. While divorce is a personal matter the emotional impact can spill over into the workplace suddenly making it a public affair. There are so many unknowns about divorce that people are often confused, filled with fear and unsure of how to navigate the process. In an effort to better heal and deal with divorce process privately, many individuals seek therapeutic counseling. However, not all therapists are equipped to help their patients understand the specifics of divorce to alleviate many of their concerns i.e. the legal process, financial impact or custody and access issues. As a result, an individual’s world is temporarily turned upside down, triggering unsettling and distressful emotions. The effects of the emotional distress in the workplace can be devastating.
On a classic rating scale of stressful life events, divorce consistently ranks No. 2–second only to the death of a spouse or child. The process of getting divorced is an emotional roller coaster which can impact people’s ability to be mindful on the job. Although divorce is primarily a personal heartbreak, the effects spill into the workplace; at the extreme – costing one to lose their job – not to mention a good portion of their wealth, and it can even affect the organization’s reputation. People often feel overburdened and lack confidence; it is not surprising how many buckle under the pressure.
It is well documented that divorce reduces worker productivity. If one were to do a cost benefit analysis of the effects of divorce in the workplace, one would find that the financial costs to the organization can be enormous.
I understand only too well how devastating the emotions of divorce can be, taking over the legal process while wreaking havoc on one’s career, causing a meltdown on so many fronts, and the difficulty in overcoming the challenges of raising children on your own. It is for these reasons that I created The Smart Divorce® Resource Tool Kit. I know how important it is to treat your divorce as a business transaction, and arm yourself with as much information as possible.
The Smart Divorce Resource Tool Kit includes:
The Smart Divorce Audios. These unique and informative audios provide tips and strategies to help navigate this difficult time, educate listeners about the divorce process and provide practical information on getting through divorce with clarity.
- Audio 1 – The Emotional Divorce
- Audio 2– The Legal Divorce
- Audio 3 – Smart Co-Parenting: Putting Your Children’s Best Interests First
- Audio 4 – Rebuilding Your Life Post Divorce
Smart Guides. 12 very valuable tip sheets that support the information in the audios and cover other important issues; providing detail, strategies and tips for managing a specific divorce related topic.
In addition to the extensive information available in The Smart Divorce Resource Tool Kit, some organizations may also find it beneficial to offer workshops. These presentations will provide greater clarity about divorce and managing through the process, in an effort to minimize stress, while maximizing an employee’s attention at work during this often distracting time.
The Smart Divorce® facilitator guided workshop
- Workshop 1- The Smart Divorce. A 1 ½ hour overview of the divorce process based on the book, The Smart Divorce. The divorce process in explained in broad terms, while providing an understanding of the emotional divorce and the legal divorce
- Workshop 2- Strengthening the Blended Family Bonds. A one hour presentation focusing on considerations when blending families.
Note: Each workshop includes PowerPoint presentation and facilitator script.
Don’t miss out on the introductory offer and save $50 when you place an order a minimum order of 10 kits. Or, try it out and order just one Toolkit.
For more information click on the link. To learn more about this unique and innovative program, and how it may help your organization or practice, please contact Deborah Moskovitch at info@thesmartdivorce.com.
10 Things We Wish We Had Known about Getting a Divorce
BY CARA WATERFALL
Don’t Be Ashamed to Reach Out to Family and Friends.
When you got married, you thought you would be the one to rise above the stats and make it work. Now you’re consoling yourself with a tub of Chubby Hubby and Married with Children re-runs, wondering where it all went wrong. The latest estimates from Statistics Canada put the divorce rate around 38% in Canada. The good news? You’re not alone. And relying on friends and family during this difficult time is the key to getting you back on the road to happiness.
Accept That There Will Be Lonely Periods.
There are no two ways about it: you’re going to be lonely. Jamaal, 34, says, “How could you not be? Many hours of the week that used to be occupied will now be free; the home that used to be full of conversation (or disagreement) will be silent. Be ready for it.”
Keep busy with new hobbies, hanging out with friends, and reconnecting with family. Above all, don’t mistake your need for human contact as a sign you should jump into another relationship.
Remember The Bad Times
It’s normal to reminisce about the good, old days. A recently separated 34-year-old said, “It’s only natural that we should hold on most strongly to the happy memories, and dismiss or gloss over the unhappy ones. It’s important to remember that the decision to split up was not taken lightly.” Divorce can turn your life upside down, but you would still be together if it was all puppy dogs and rainbows.
Cut The Cord
You need a period of non-contact between you and your ex to adjust to life “on the outside.” Although it’s admirable to think we’re all mature enough to sustain grown-up relationships with our exes, for most of us, this just won’t be the case. There’s no good reason to torture each other with phony pleasantries—unless you have kids together. Don’t muddy the already-murky waters.
You’re Divorcing More Than Your Husband.
Divorce is not only the death of a marriage, but also of some of the shared hopes and dreams. Although it can feel intensely private, others were along for the ride: your ex’s family and friends were part of your inner circle and now they can’t be. Tina, 44, remembers “how much divorce hurts people other than yourself.” She also recalls how radically her future changed: “What I thought my life was going to become was altered when I became divorced.”
You’re Also Divorcing a Lifestyle
Montreal-based divorce coach Marilyn Rackover’s first order of business for her clients is that wives become familiar with the family finances. As a divorcée herself, she was fortunate to have a husband who shared what items needed to be negotiated—like health insurance—and many women are included in their husband’s health coverage. It’s time to create your own financial identity—separate from your ex’s.
Create A Paper Trail For Everything.
Deborah Moscovitch, the founder of The Smart Divorce, encourages people to treat the divorce as a business transaction. In addition to a financial paper trail, keep a paper trail of everything that been discussed and agreed upon.
Getting Sound Advice is Critical.
Don’t underestimate the power of a good divorce lawyer. It’s important to have a trusted third party to guide you through the complexities of divorce proceedings. Your lawyer can point out the fine print—and help you understand it.
Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff.
One woman remembers how her friend ranted about a potato-masher that her ex had in his possession. Of course, she wasn’t really upset about the potato-masher! Recognize that the pain of divorce stems from many different things and that pointing fingers is pointless. Don’t quibble about the little things, because they may come back to bite you—and ultimately, they impede your ability to move forward.
You Are Stronger Than You Realize.
By standing on your own two feet, you empower yourself. One 44 year-old divorcée was always known as the one who didn’t take charge until she finally listened to her own intuition and left her husband. She said: “When I took charge of my life, I was so proud of myself, because I realized I could do it without his help.”
*Not her real name
Resources:
1. http://imfcanada.org/default.aspx?go=article&aid=1182&tid=8
2. http://www.vifamily.ca/sites/default/files/divorce_facts_causes_conseque…
3. http://www.thesmartdivorce.com/main.html
Original article appeared on
http://www.ivillage.ca/relationships/divorce/10-things-we-wish-we-had-known-about-getting-divorce#
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