Posts filed under ‘Divorce considerations’
For those residing in the Toronto area..Stay tuned this Wednesday, November 23rd at 7 pm for “FINDING YOUR BLISS AFTER DIVORCE” On ROGERS TV (Channel 10 in Toronto, 63 in Scarborough) Great show, with amazing prizes, giveaways and excellent guests, coaches and authors who are here to coach you on life after divorce. Please give us a call at 416-446-7090. The first two callers win great prizes including 4 CD’s from The Smart Divorce ToolKit and and a half hour one-on-one complimentary consultation with Divorce author and consultant Deborah Moskovitch!
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November 22, 2011 at 4:12 am
Our guest on The Smart Divorce on Divorce Source radio , Mark Baer (http://www.markbaeresq.com) is a family law attorney, mediator, and collaborative law practitioner in Pasadena, California and has been practicing for twenty years. He received a great deal of media attention regarding his opinions that the family law system in the United States destroys families and his views on better and more constructive ways of handling such matters. His articles have appeared in Forbes, The Los Angeles Daily Journal and Valley Lawyer Magazine. Columnists from the Pasadena Star-News, the Los Angeles, Times and other newspapers use Mark as a resource for their columns.
Problem solving is a hallmark of a good lawyer. We explore this outlook and learn what you need to consider when looking for a lawyer. To learn more, Mark has written the must read article Things to Consider in Order to Select an Attorney Who is a Problem Solver and Not a Conflict Creator (http://www.markbaeresq.com/Pasadena-Family-Law-Blog/2011/September/Things-to-Consider-in-Order-to-Select-an-Attorne2.aspx)
Topics in this program include:
- What is a problem solving lawyer
- What is a problem creator lawyer
- Finding your problem-solving lawyer
- How to look for a mediator that’s right for you
- Problems with lawyers and the legal system
To listen in click on this link
http://www.divorcesourceradio.com/find-a-problem-solving-divorce-attorney-not-a-conflict-creator/
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November 21, 2011 at 3:23 am
The following article recently appeared in the Huffington Post
Children often have difficulty with a divorced parent’s first move into the dating world. Many children, no matter how old, fantasize about mommy and daddy getting back together and becoming part of one big happy family again. While deep down your children know fantasy will likely not become a reality, moving on to the next chapter of your life requires balance and sensitivity.
When Barbara Steinman* first started dating again, she found “dating was exciting and took up a lot of time. I didn’t have balance in my life. I was going out a lot and then realized I had to pull back and spend more time at home with my kids.”
Steinman says she also felt self-conscious, wondering what other people would think of her.
“After being married for so many years I hadn’t thought of myself in terms of being appealing to men in a relationship or sexual sense, rather than as friends.”
To read the whole article, click on the link: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/deborah-moskovitch/getting-into-the-post-div_b_1010925.html
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November 16, 2011 at 1:49 pm
The Smart Divorce® Resource ToolKit
Get Through Your Divorce While Saving Time, Money – and Your Sanity!
The Smart Divorce Resource ToolKit is designed specifically to meet your needs — to help reduce stress, educate and inform you about the divorce process in a cost-effective, easy to understand way. Guidance and information from leading family law lawyers, mental health professionals, and parenting experts well versed on the needs of those in the divorce process are included. And, it’s put together in one smart package, making it uncomplicated, and effortless to understand. This program has also been endorsed by the foremost Judges, Lawyers and Mental Health Professionals. And, this ToolKit was praised by Justice Harvey Brownstone on his popular TV show Family Matters http://www.familymatterstv.com/why-families-matter and http://www.familymatterstv.com/how-to-be-smart-about-divorce
Move Through Your Divorce with Focus, Hope and Confidence
The Smart Divorce Audios
These unique and informative CDs provide tips and strategies to help navigate this difficult time, educate listeners about the divorce process and provide practical information on getting through it with focus, hope and confidence.
- Audio 1 – The Emotional Divorce
- Audio 2– The Legal Divorce
- Audio 3 – Smart Co-Parenting: Putting Your Children’s Best Interests First
- Audio 4 – Rebuilding Your Life Post Divorce
Smart Guides
Tip sheets that guide you through divorce specifics, covering a myriad of helpful topics – empower yourself with information and knowledge.
Smart Guides:
- Planning for a Smart Divorce
- Getting Your Finances Organized for Divorce
- Coping with the Stress of the Emotional Divorce
- How to Increase Your Ability to Cope When Divorcing
- Understanding Your Divorce Options
- Finding a Good Divorce Lawyer
- Smart Co-Parenting
- Living Separate and Apart
- Strengthening the Blended Family Bonds
- Divorce Financial Check List
- Understanding Marital Property Laws
- Important Financial Steps Required to Prepare for Divorce
What people are saying:
Having purchased this great resource and after looking at the materials and listening to the CD’s I told Deborah that I thought that she has grossly under priced this great resource.The Divorce Resource Toolkit has not heard the last of me as I intend to incorporate it into the divorce education materials that I offer my clients. In my opinion, all divorce and child custody professionals should consider doing the same.
Lawyer Michael Mastrassi, Baltimore, Maryland
The Smart Divorce Resource ToolKit provided me with helpful information and tools to begin my divorce confidently.
S.D., San Francisco, California
Deborah made the process much easier to understand. I would recommend that anyone going through divorce listen to the CDs and read the Smart Guides – they really helped me.
K.B. Ottawa, Ontario
Listening to the CD’s now, not even half way through …..and WOW there is powerful information and some really good stuff. So much of what you say I tell my clients and people at my seminars all the time. … It really follows the collaborative way of thought when dealing with the emotional divorce.
Lawyer Nicolle Kopping-Pavars, Markham Ontario
I have reviewed some of the Smart Guides and am impressed by the helpful information that is provided! These strike me as a wonderful resource for people going through the process of divorce.
Associate Professor of Psychology at Skidmore College Mark Rye, Saratoga Springs, New York
Don’t delay, order your ToolKit today
For more information or to place an order, call 905 695 0270 or email info@thesmartdivorce.com to get your copy of
The Smart Divorce Resource ToolKit.
For as little as $64.99 you will have the information and knowledge you need to have a Smart Divorce
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November 11, 2011 at 2:24 pm
Our guest, award winner and mentor, Judge Lynn Toler (http://judgelynn.com/toler_divorce_court/) is smart, talented and creative – and judge on one of television’s most successful courtroom drama series: DIVORCE COURT.
Judge Lynn Toler is a former municipal court judge who now hosts the nationally syndicated show, Divorce Court. She is also a bi-monthly contributor to News and Notes on NPR and became host of the prime time TV show Decision House in 2007. In 2006, Judge Lynn published her book, My Mother’s Rules: A Practical Guide to Becoming an Emotional Genius. Praised as an “awe-inspiring memoir” by Essence Magazine, it not only chronicles her life as a child raised in the shadow of her father’s mental illness but provides practical advice for anyone seeking more and better emotional control
Having completed more than two thousand episodes, on DIVORCE COURT, Judge Lynn Toler turns up the heat on court shows in this half-hour, relationship oriented series. Viewers experience the drama firsthand as husbands and wives square off in real-life courtroom battles. Judge Lynn shares her wisdom and insight of the legal process, how to have a much smarter divorce…..or even save your marriage. And, she speaks of her mission to gain awareness about teen violence.
Topics in this program include:
- How communicating better might help you avoid divorce
- What a judge can and cannot do
- The emotions of court; what to do to get a better resolution
- The inherent unfairness of no fault divorce
- The surprising truth about teen violence and what parents should be aware of Domestic violence – an explanation, coping and managing
- The limits of the legal system
- Intelligent mediation
To hear this fascinating interview click on the link:
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November 10, 2011 at 4:27 pm
Our guest, Lisa Decker (www.DivorceMoneyMatters.com) who is referred to as Miss Money Matters ® - is the CEO and founder of Divorce Money Matters®. Ms. Decker is an expert in divorce financial matters, and a discreet problem-solver who guides her clients to “Divorce Your Spouse, Not Your Money®.” She has been interviewed by CNN, Good Morning America, NY Times, Business Week, CreditCards.com, ForbesWomen.com, and Oprah magazine.
The finances of divorce and how they are managed and worked through during the divorce process can significantly impact your post divorce future. Tune in to understand the most common mistakes and what you can do to avoid them.
Topics in this program include:
- How to make decisions based on facts, not emotions
- How to create a realistic post-divorce budget
- The impact of joint debts
- Protecting your income streams
- Considering the long-term consequences of your choices
- Developing your dream divorce team
To listen in click on the link:
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November 9, 2011 at 8:35 pm
I share with More magazine online (more.ca) my most personal journey through divorce…..the purpose is to inspire and empower the reader with focus, hope and confidence.
There’s a story I often share in the hopes that it inspires and empowers others. I call it: Reframing your thoughts to create the best life yet. It’s about how my engagement ring changed from a symbol of love as a couple to love of myself. I know what you’re thinking: This sounds cliché, and this divorce consultantand educator is just one more flake trying to sell swampland in Florida.
Deciding to divorce was second only to the pain of telling my oldest child his parents were divorcing.
A week after my youngest child was born I learned some devastating facts about my marriage which were about to turn my world upside down. But, fifteen years later my world is not only sunny-side up but also a whole lot different — very fulfilling. I’m living out my dreams.
I’ll never forget the day a week after my third child was born. I tried to buy diapers for my son and my credit card was declined, yet again. The humiliation I felt when I approached my car empty handed, while my parents and baby were waiting for me, was devastating. There is usually a breaking point that causes people to make difficult decisions. And that episode was to be the start of mine. It was the low point that began my catalyst for change.
I believed in the sanctity of marriage in good and bad times. I grew up fairly sheltered, with tunnel vision and naiveté. The “D” word never existed in my vocabulary and I was determined to stay married. I made my life about my children. But all that unraveled that fateful day my diaper purchase was declined – the day I realized that the trust, communication and honesty were gone from my marriage.
To read the full article, click on the link: http://www.more.ca/relationships/single-life/how-your-divorce-can-be-empowering/a/37626
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October 26, 2011 at 6:33 pm
I recently appeared on The Marilyn Denis Show on CTV. We discussed the issues, considerations and preparation going into the conversation to tell your children about your separation and divorce. We also talked about this very critical conversation. Click on the link to see the interview
http://www.marilyn.ca/parenting/segments.aspx/Daily/October2011/10_18_2011/DivorceGuide
I also provided a tip sheet…..here’s what I had to say
Divorce expert Deborah Moskovitch shares tips on how to tell your kids you’re getting a divorce.
Telling Your Children About Your Divorce
Research indicates that too few parents sit down and explain to their children that their marriage is ending, and they don’t encourage their children to ask questions. Parents that say nothing, leaving their children confused. When parents do not explain what’s happening to their children, the children feel anxious, upset and lonely and find it much harder to cope. Children don’t need to know the reasons behind the divorce, but what you can tell them is what it means to them and their lives.
Providing age-appropriate information will help your children and adolescents cope with the many changes in their lives initiated by the separation and divorce. It will make them feel less anxious. And it establishes a healthy pattern of communication with your children.
Preparing for conversation
Children and Adolescents are much smarter then we often give them credit for. There is information they will want to know and appropriate to share such as:
• The Parenting Plan. If you can, try to work out an interim agreement about what your living arrangements will be before you talk with your children. Although this plan might change later, your children will have more of a sense of confidence if they know you’ve put some thought into the separation and how it might impact them.
• Provide Reassurance. Let your children know that they are equally important to both of you, and you both want to be with them. Assure your children that the divorce is between mom and dad, and not your children – we will always be your parents.
• Be prepared with answers. Try to think of the questions that your children might ask, and be ready with an answer – for example, they will want to know if they will be able to attend the same school, or see their friends and extended family and where each of you will be living.
Talk about it together
It is helpful for both parents to talk with the children together. This gives them a consistent message and shows them that you both love them that you can and will work together and parent cooperatively even though you are divorcing. When it is not possible to talk to children together, do the best you can to coordinate what you are saying to them and be sure not to put down your co-parent or be negative about them.
Provide the right message
When parents talk to their children about the separation or divorce they are some very important suggestions that you most likely will want your children to hear:
- That it was a mutual decision to separate; avoid laying blame on one parent.
- You, their parents, love them very much and that the divorce is not their fault
- What their lives will look like in concrete terms. For example: what will stay the same and what may change. Try to provide your children with security and routine.
Allow for grieving
Don’t rush your children, allow them time to react. Children need their space to grieve and adjust to this new reality too. Allow your children to express any and all feelings, let them know that is ok to do so. Also, help your children articulate different feelings, and let them know that they can asking you anything.
Help your child understand the new reality
What will your children’s new reality look like? Give your children a sense of what will be remaining the same, and what will be changing. Have a family calendar hanging in a prominent place or in your children’s rooms. Show your children you care, help them keep track of when they will be in each home. Since they will be adjusting to life in two separate homes, you want them to feel comfortable in this new routine.
And lastly, don’t be afraid to tell your children that we, your parents may not have all the answers, but we are working towards goals together.
More helpful tips may be found in The Smart Divorce: Proven Strategies and Valuable Advice from 100 Top Divorce Lawyers, Financial Advisers, Counselors, and Other Experts (Chicago Review Press, 2007). Or through The Smart Divorce Resource ToolKit.To place an order or for more information email
info@thesmartdivorce.com
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October 20, 2011 at 8:39 pm
I am both proud an honoured to be a guest on Family Matters with Justice Brownstone. This is by far one of my most informative and personal interviews; Justice Brownstone digs deep as I share my research and lessons learned so that anyone can have The Smart Divorce. He also delves into my own divorce journey, so that viewers are empowered with information and knowledge. Tune in tonight, October 4, at 10:30pm on CHCH TV.
If you are interested in learning more about The Smart Divorce Resource ToolKit ,which Justice Brownstone speaks so highly of, please email info@thesmartdivorce.com for more information.
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October 5, 2011 at 12:52 am
I am both proud an honoured to be a guest on Family Matters with Justice Brownstone. This is by far one of my most informative and personal interviews; Justice Brownstone digs deep as I share my research and lessons learned so that anyone can have The Smart Divorce. He also delves into my own divorce journey, so that viewers are empowered with information and knowledge. Tune in tonight, October 4, at 10:30pm on CHCH TV.
If you are interested in learning more about The Smart Divorce Resource ToolKit ,which Justice Brownstone speaks so highly of, please email info@thesmartdivorce.com for more information.
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October 4, 2011 at 11:57 pm
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