If you are the resident parent where the children live most of the time, then not much will change.  However, if your children don’t live with you most of the time, here are some ideas to consider to maintaining involvement in your children’s lives:

Parenting Tips for Transforming Your Family

Make a family calendar and hang it wherever the children will see it, to show that you care. Make your children see that their lives are important to you and that they are your priority.

On the family calendar, list:

• birthdates
• school schedules
• other dates, such as dental appointments, dance recitals, sports games, and so on.

Establish rules such as the following:

• Each parent must order his or her own tickets for children’s events.
• Each parent must make his or her own arrangements at school to get information.
• It is not up to your former spouse to do those things or provide information for you.
• It’s up to you to take the initiative.
• Don’t make your son or daughter into the man or woman of the house.
• Don’t turn your son or daughter into your best friend and confidant.
• Don’t fill the void in your bed by allowing your child to sleep there. If you eventually start a relationship and no longer allow your child into your bed because you are sharing it with someone else, the child could feel displaced.

If you are the noncustodial parent, here are some ideas to help you maintain a positive relationship with your children:

• Some schools allow children to leave the grounds for lunch; you may be able to take them out to lunch without affecting the custodial parent’s time.
• As much as you can, duplicate at your home the little things that your kids love at the custodial parent’s home–things like special Barbie dolls, books, and so on. Send out the message that you care. Duplicating items will remove the stress children may feel about taking their favorite things to the other parent’s home or about forgetting to bring them (but keep in mind that some items, like the favorite blanket or stuffed animal, can’t be duplicated)

Remember, your children still have two parents.  They still have a family, it’s the dynamics which have changed and up to parents to minimize the conflict and make transition as easy as possible.

from DivorceHQ.com

Here is another Children’s Bill of Rights which I came across and should help divorcing parents think about what the best interests of the children really mean and other ideas to accomplish this.

We the children of the divorcing parents, in order to form a more perfect union, establish justice, insure domestic tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general welfare, and secure the blessings of liberty to ourselves and our posterity, do ordain and establish these Bill Of Rights for all children.

1. The right not to be asked to “choose sides” or be put in a situation where I would have to take sides between my parents.
2. The right to be treated as a person and not as a pawn, possession or a negotiating chip.
3. The right to freely and privately communicate with both parents.
4. The right not to be asked questions by one parent about the other.
5. The right not to be a messenger.
6. The right to express my feelings.
7. The right to adequate visitation with the non-custodial parent which will best serve my needs and wishes.
8. The right to love and have a relationship with both parents without being made to feel guilty.
9. The right not to hear either parent say anything bad about the other.
10. The right to the same educational opportunities and economic support that I would have had if my parents did not divorce.
11. The right to have what is in my best interest protected at all times.
12. The right to maintain my status as a child and not to take on adult responsibilities for the sake of the parent’s well being.
13. The right to request my parents seek appropriate emotional and social support when needed.
14. The right to expect consistent parenting at a time when little in my life seems constant or secure.
15. The right to expect healthy relationship modeling, despite the recent events.
16. The right to expect the utmost support when taking the time and steps needed to secure a healthy adjustment to the current situation.

Please realize that this is NOT law, anywhere. The “Children’s’ Bill of Rights” is not legally enforceable, but rather suggestions made to keep the best interest of the child a priority.

While researching the children’s best interest, I came across this article which I wanted to share. As parent’s we always think that we are right about our children, but did you know that children have rights too?

As I am bound by the rules not to edit these rights, I specifically want to bring your attention to points 1, 2, 4, 6, 7, 8, 11, 12, 14, 15, 17

KIDFORUMs CHILDREN’S BILL of RIGHTS
March 1 – April 20 1996

We, Children from seven countries and three continents, having communicated with each other over the Internet, agree that the following are natural rights of Children all over the world, and hereby ratify them:

Preamble:

We believe that a successful society invests its best resources and hopes in the success of its children.
An unsuccessful society ignores or maltreats its children.
Children are the future of our species.
How a society treats its children is a direct reflection of how that society looks at its future.

The Children’s Bill of Rights proposes rights for children that all adults on Earth should honor, so that we may help create the very best future for ourselves and, in turn, our own children.
A moral and competent society is one that respects and upholds the rights of its children.
A society that fails to do so is immoral and incompetent.

ARTICLES OF THE CHILDREN’S BILL OF RIGHTS

Section I: ARTICLES THAT ARE IMPLEMENTED IMMEDIATELY

1. CHILDREN’S UNIVERSAL RIGHTS

As compared to adults, children until the age of 18 have the right to receive special care and protection.
Children all have the same rights, no matter what country they were born in or are living in, what their sex is, what their race is, or what their religion is.

2. RIGHT TO INHERIT A BETTER WORLD

Children have the right to inherit a world that is at least as good as the one their parents inherited.
Children have a responsibility to think about how they will leave a better world to their children, and, when they become adults, they have the right and duty to act on this.

3. RIGHT TO INFLUENCE THE FUTURE

Children have the right to participate in discussions having to do with the directions our society is taking — on the large political, economic, social, and educational issues and policies — so that children can help create the kind of world they will grow up in.
Adults have an obligation to communicate their views of these large issues in terms that children can understand, and provide children with the same information that is available to all adults.
Children have the right to understand how things change within society, and to learn how to influence these changes.

4. RIGHT TO FREEDOM OF THOUGHT, OPINION, EXPRESSION, CONSCIENCE, AND RELIGION

Every child has the right to express his or her opinion freely, and adults should address that opinion with the child in every decision that affects him or her.
Children have the right to carry out research to help form these opinions.
Children have the right to express their views, obtain information, and make ideas or information known.
Children have the right to form their own views in matters of conscience and religion.

5. RIGHT TO MEDIA ACCESS

Children have guaranteed access to all important communications media so that they may communicate nationally and internationally amongst themselves and with adults.

6. RIGHT TO PARTICIPATE IN DECISIONS AFFECTING CHILDREN

Children have the right to participate in all committees and decisions that make plans and set policies that directly or indirectly affect children.

7. RIGHT TO PRIVACY

Children have the right to privacy to the same extent adults have.

8. RIGHT TO RESPECT AND COURTESY

Children should be treated with respect and courtesy by adults, as well as by other children.

9. RIGHT TO AN IDENTITY

Children separated from their birth parents at birth or at an early age have the right to know that this happened.
Children have the right to know their name, who their birth parents are, and when and where they were born.

10. RIGHT TO FREEDOM OF ASSOCIATION

Children have the right to meet with others, and to join or form associations, equivalent to that held by adults.

11. RIGHT TO CARE AND NURTURING

Children have the right to have nurturing and caring parents or guardians.

12. RIGHT TO LEISURE AND PLAY

Children have the right to leisure, play, and participation in cultural and artistic activities.
Children have the right to enjoy at least a few hours every day when they are free from worries.

13. RIGHT TO SAFE WORK

Children have the right to be protected from work that threatens their health, education, or development.
Children have the right to have pocket money so that they may learn to manage money.

14. RIGHT TO AN ADEQUATE STANDARD OF LIVING

Every child has the right to a standard of living adequate for his or her physical, mental, spiritual, moral, and social development, no matter how wealthy his or her parents are.

15. RIGHT TO LIFE, PHYSICAL INTEGRITY AND PROTECTION FROM MALTREATMENT

Children have the right to be protected from all forms of maltreatment by any adult, including a parent.
This includes but is not limited to: physical abuse, including torture, violence, hitting and slapping; harmful drugs, including alcohol and tobacco; mental abuse; and sexual abuse.
Infanticide is prohibited.
No child shall be forced into marriage.

16. RIGHT TO A DIVERSE ENVIRONMENT AND CREATIVITY

Children have the right to have many different things, people, and ideas in their environment.
Children have the right to listen to music of their choice.
Children have the right NOT to have their creativity stifled.

17. RIGHT TO EDUCATION

Every child has the right to education, education that aims to develop his or her personality, talents, and mental and physical abilities to the fullest extent, no matter how wealthy the child’s parents are.
Education should foster respect for a child’s parents, for the child’s own cultural identity, language and values, as well as for the cultural background and values of others.
Children have the right to an excellent education in any school.
Schools will differ not in the quality of the education they offer, but only in their philosophies of teaching, and what professional specializations they stress.

18. RIGHT TO ACCESS APPROPRIATE INFORMATION AND TO A BALANCED DEPICTION OF REALITY

Adults have the obligation to provide children with information from several different sources.
Children should be protected from materials adults consider harmful.
Children have the right to have reality presented to them in a balanced and accurately representative fashion.

19. RIGHT NOT TO BE EXPOSED TO PREJUDICE

Children have the right NOT to be taught that one group (racial, national, religious, etc.) is superior to another.

Section II: ARTICLES THAT REQUIRE SOCIAL OR NATIONAL POLICIES

20. THE RIGHT TO A CLEAN ENVIRONMENT

Children have a right to a clean environment (water, air, ground, sea).

21. RIGHT TO A SMALL NATIONAL DEBT

Governments and countries must decrease national debt which will have to be paid for
by future generations.

22. RIGHT TO VOTE

Children over 14 have the right to vote on issues that directly affect children, in all local, regional, national and international elections.

23. RIGHT TO MEDICAL CARE

Children have the right to be kept alive and in the best health and medical care science can provide, no matter how wealthy their parents are.

24. LEGAL RIGHTS

Children accused of crimes have at least the same legal rights as adults.
No child shall be institutionalized against her or his will without due process rights.

25. RIGHT NOT TO PARTICIPATE IN WAR

Young people under 21 have the right NOT to go to war.

The Children’s Bill of Rights may be freely reproduced and distributed provided it is done so in its entirety and unaltered, and with this paragraph attached.
As of April 20, 1996, children from 7 countries and 3 continents had ratified The Children’s Bill of Rights.